I'm 28, ED is giving me sleepless nights

Welcome to the forums friend. Ok so...
You need to tell your partner everything. Especially as you're thinking of getting married soon. If you're that close with her, she'll understand and be supportive. You don't want to get married with secrets lurking in the back! And to fail on your wedding night would be a shocker!

You haven't masturbated for a year I see. Have you orgasmed in this time? And how?
Can you get hard when alone? At all?

 

I can relate.

ED is a serious problem for me, too. I don't know yet, what causes it for me and how I can overcome it. Maybe staying free from PMO will help me - I will see. However, I don't hesitate to point out that masturbation isn't always the cause of your problems. I have a lot of issues regarding my sexuality and after hanging out in the forums here for a while (and after having had some really good discussions with others), I came to the conclusion that my masturbation habits are merely a symptom.

And after finally having sexual contact, I can add ED to my symptoms. *sigh*

I would like to share my story, hoping others share their stories, too. There have been good insights for me in these forums here.

The way I see it currently, my ED is kind of the pinnacle of my (sexual) anxiety. This is not solely performance anxiety! I am afraid of women. I am the more afraid the more it gets sexual. I once shrugged when a woman casually rubbed my back (in a non-sexual manner). Of course she immediately withdrew. "Oh, thanks - I actually liked your gesture of empathy, sorry for my fearful reaction" is not what I said then. Sometimes it's impossible for me to reciprocate affection. My body language speaks louder than my voice.

For this reason, I need time and a woman that has sufficient trust in me. A one-night stand with ED is - well - just further disappointment for everyone involved. If you see a woman a couple of times, maybe there are ways to "make up for it" or at least learn something about yourself. This could include things like this:

Talk to your partner. Common wisdom suggests that relationship problems are blown out of proportion by non-communication. In the end the failure to communicate makes 80% of the problem.
Women notice sooner or later how inexperienced I am in bed, despite my age. As long as I am authentic and playful, contrary to shy and fearful, they don't even mind. (I only had few experiences, but none of the woman ever gave me shit for not performing. Quite the contrary.)
As you are in a relationship: I understand how serious ED is for you. However, there is probably a lot of room to talk about all kind of things. A relationship can be a good place for each partner to develop. No-one is the perfect partner right away. Just keep it real.

 

It'll be a game of chance for me every time. The last time I didn't get full erection, but enough for PIV. Then I didn't ejaculate. I just assume that it will get better and keep trying.

 

I guess that was 5 minutes. So ..., barely.

 

In my case, it's not that simple. I haven't done PMO for a month now. However, it's 2 years ago that I heard about nofap and started my first challenge that ran 56 days. In between I fully relapsed and only had shorter periods without PMO.

This current 30 days without PMO more or less happened because I met this girl and since then simply didn't have any desire to watch porn (nor to masturbate). Can being in love maybe cause a flatlining? This is how it feels at the moment.

I don't try further challenges because I tended to relapse and instead of swinging back and forth, I try to improve consistently. Also, I have other issues to work on beside my sexuality.

Now I still think that it would be totally desirable for me to abstain from porn and masturbation. Therefore, I don't mind the current flatlining. In terms of positive effects: I have to disappoint, I don't think I can come up with any. However, these are the reasons why I still believe that it'll be beneficial to me to live without PMO:

1 I masturbate to Hentai porn since I have high-speed internet and rarely to anything else. Instead of arguing whether or not that's healthy, this is clearly something that I don't like to talk about with friends and that sucks. I don't want to have dirty secrets.
2 My whole sex life is close to non-existent. To me, any disruption counts as positive development. I'd rather be without orgasm for a year (hoping that eventually I'll develop something closer to a healthy sexuality) than continuing my PMO habits.
3 Another way to put it: my sex life is all fantasy. While it's fine to dream and retreat to fantasy once in a while, I have reached a degree of unhealthy withdrawal. If I can replace the comfortable fantasy with reality (actual relations with humans, real affection, intimacy) - even if reality sucks compared to fantasy - that counts as positive development.

So especially because of the third point, I believe giving up on PMO is an end in itself.

 

Try supplements perhaps?
Horny Goat Weed, Macca Root Powder, Tribulus.

 

Its my first time ever for the challenge, could you please illustrate on how I can check for ED? I haven't had any sexual activity for years.....so I can't rly tell and I'm worried..

 

Well, maybe you shouldn't worry too much then. My case is quite depressing, but I know a lot of people who have an irregular sex life but no problems regarding ED whatsoever. I basically only masturbated (I'm thirty now) and now that I finally get things going my little buddy decides otherwise right in the moment. The only way to find out for sure, is go ahead and try.

The devilish thing about it: worrying about it aggravates your problem (because most likely, it's about anxiety). But you shouldn't worry. If you haven't had a problem yet, maybe you never will.

 

I'm trying to quit PMO but everyday I'm always looking for signs of improvement and I feel lost coz I can't tell if I am improving as I've never felt it "Naturally". Thanks for the support, I'm sure that we can all make it through as long as we don't give up.

I've quit smoking and started hitting the Gym, I hear it helps alot being healthy.