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If you could erase bad memories, would you do it?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by green lion eating the sun, Jun 24, 2017.

If you could erase bad memories aboveall linked to your addiction, would you do it?

  1. Yes

    10 vote(s)
    30.3%
  2. No

    23 vote(s)
    69.7%
  1. Ihatefap

    Ihatefap Fapstronaut

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    I would erase my memories of the time when I learnt to fap. But not of porn so that I remember that it was bad and don't watch it out of curiosity.
     
  2. Scott88

    Scott88 Fapstronaut

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    Definitely not. Only through pain and mistakes can we learn to improve and bolster ourselves. And to forgive ourselves.
     
    Aiyoshi and Spiff like this.
  3. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    Most people are talking about erasing the memories of the things they did wrong - like most of you I certainly wouldn't get rid of those because without them I wouldn't realize that I need to change.

    I can think of things I know having nothing to do with me that I've desperately wished I could just get rid of. Knowledge I have of things that happened to someone precious to me that have kept me up at night for months at a time. I'm not going into it here, but these events and memories have had an impact on my addiction.

    Now, though, I wouldn't get rid of any of them. Perseverance is the key to becoming a spiritually mature human, and an understanding of the sickness in this world is necessary for operating within it.

    @SuperFan

    I am struck by the tragedy of these actions and the honesty of your confession. I'll say a prayer for you, if you don't mind.
     
    Aiyoshi and Bel like this.
  4. wow, your ex wife def endured a lot. I went to a private clinic around last winter to check if i had any STDs. I just wanted to find out if I had anything coz i started getting worried ad sick. I was clear but it was very humilating coz i had few relationships and I was always loyal but some of them weren't with me and I sticked around. I shouldn't have done it. btw I appreciate the reboot you are doing and recognizing you want to make it up somehow
     
    Aiyoshi and Bel like this.
  5. northernman

    northernman Fapstronaut

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    I'd never want to remove the bad / sad memories from any part of my life. I have somethings that make me cry to remember them; others that make me cringe; some that make me angry with myself. But they've all contributed to me becoming the bloke sitting at his computer with a bowl of breakfast cereal starting a form post with the words "I'd never want to remove the bad / sad memories..." :)

    What I try and do is work to create good memories, and don't give the bad / sad stuff undue attention. If something happened 10 years ago and I have done everything I can to deal with it / apologise / rectify the problem then that's that.
     
    Aiyoshi and Bel like this.
  6. I will win

    I will win Fapstronaut

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    Exactly!
     
    sparkywantsnoPMO likes this.
  7. I will win

    I will win Fapstronaut

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    I'm very sorry to hear such a thing. It seems that porn has destroyed your life, but I wanted to tell you something, you actually didn't hurt anyone. It's not your fault that you are an addict to porn. You didn't choose to be an addict to such a thing. Don't blame yourself for something you didn't mean to. It's true that porn destroys relationships and people's lives because most the people consider porn as a 'cheating' most wives think of a selfish way, saying, "I'm not enough!" if those wives were an addict to porn, they wouldn't have consider it 'cheating'. You didn't hurt anyone. You only hurt yourself.
     
    sparkywantsnoPMO likes this.
  8. If i could, id do the same.
     
  9. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    Memories make us who we are, without them there is nothing. Whether they're good or bad, they are with us at all times and there's always a lesson to be learned from them. Erasing memories would be like erasing a chunk of your body.
     
    Aiyoshi likes this.
  10. JamesRK

    JamesRK Guest

    Although it sounds a little weird at first, I actively try to keep the memories of my worst times somewhat fresh. There was a time in my life where I truly wanted to be dead but wasn't motivated enough to take the steps to get me there. I simply went through my daily tasks; went to school; got the faintest glimmer of stimulation glimmer of stimulation from eating, gaming, and porn; went to bed thinking about death, and woke up to do it all over again.

    I don't keep that idea in my head because I romanticize the somber. It's just that if that memory is somewhere accessible in the back of my brain, I can have the worst day at work, be bored as hell when I get home, and be stressed about tomorrow, but I can still smile thinking about how much better today was than those days and be grateful that I lived to see even the mundane and stressful parts of life.
     
    Aiyoshi likes this.
  11. BlackenGuru

    BlackenGuru Fapstronaut

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    If I'm being honest with myself, I would erase most of my memories of my past life so that I can start fresh. And I've tried starting fresh in the past but soon your past catches up to you. And now, I've realised that rather than running away from the past you have to accept it and confront it and learn from it so that you can have a better future.
     
    vulture175 likes this.
  12. I don't really have many bad memories with regards to PMO. It never caused any particularly large problems for me, probably because I never did it as much as a lot of people, just was a huge waste of time and energy, hedonism for the sake of hedonism.

    ...but I do have plenty of terrible experiences burned into my mind's eye from my other addictions (namely IV opiates).

    As painful as some of those memories are, and how many guilty sleepless nights I've had, my answer is a resounding no. There is absolutely no way I would erase those memories. Not even if I was offered a million dollars to do so.

    Those memories are the one and only valuable thing to come out of any addiction or traumatic experience: They are what you learn from. They are the things that inspire you to be a different person.

    Without those memories, without the lessons learned, you went through all those years of addiction for absolutely nothing. With them, you can come out of the experience a stronger person than you were going in. That doesn't make any addiction any less nasty, but it does mean you at least grow from having overcome it.

    There's a quote that says "Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it" and the same quote fits here, with a small alteration. "Those who do not learn from their past mistakes, are doomed to repeat them"
     
    Aiyoshi and Spiff like this.
  13. Aiyoshi

    Aiyoshi Fapstronaut

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    OF COURSE!

    Waaaaay too many disturbing images to deal with.
     
  14. BuddyLee

    BuddyLee Fapstronaut

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    No, and simply because I wouldn't be strong and wise if it werent for the mistakes I did. I would use my bad memories as teaching points for other people... PMO on how it ruins your life and messes up your sex performance would be one lesson for example... and so forth...
     
    Aiyoshi likes this.

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