If not now, then when?

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

**Before I start, I would like to say the following to the reader: You will not agree to everything that is written here. Thus, please keep an open mind and take whatever benefit you want from this thread and simply throw out whatever you think is wrong. Thank you very much.**

"If not you, then who? If not now, then when?"

That is what I read on a Whatsapp status written by a righteous man around four years ago. Thing is, it always stuck with me but I never fully applied it. As I finished my fap on December 30th 2017, I started feeling guilty. "How can you do this again?" I asked myself. It got to a point where I started to feel useless in society and so that night, as I was showering, these words came back to me with a strength. "If not you, then who? If not now, then when?" Thus at 12 AM on December 31st, 2017, I started nofap. With that said, I will make this post straight to the point and I hope that it will benefit everyone.

Brief Background:
I'm a 25 year old Middle Eastern male. My parents are practicing Muslims, I strive to be although I have many faults, so you can say I come from a religious background. On December 31st, 2017, I decided to stick to Nofap. I am on the 90 Day Hard Mode challenge. I am currently on day 33 and it feels GREAT!

The Problem:
I've been struggling with what we call in Islam, "the secret habit" for 10 years. I would constantly try quitting, but couldn't do it for some reason, this struggle has been going on for literally, a whole decade. I would do it 1-3 times a day. Every single time I'd do it, right after, thoughts like this (sometimes worse) would occur:

1. You have disobeyed God again. Look at you, you're disgusting.
2. Why is it so addicting? Why did I turn myself on? Why did I do it when I wasn't even horny? WHY CAN'T I STOP THIS?
   
3. I hate myself. I'll never get rid of this. It will be stuck with me forever.
4. How can people even like me?

The point here is not whether you think of these exact thoughts or not. However, I strongly believe that most (if not each) one of us that consistently Fap get negative thoughts right after. If not right after, then in a span of 2-3 hours. Think about something for a moment.. why do we get these thoughts? If every where you read says that fapping is healthy, and that it's common and that everyone does it, then why is it that we get these thoughts? Why do we Google the harmful effects of it? Why do we get happy when we find a community (Nofap) talking about it? In my personal opinion, I think it's because of our primordial human nature. Simply put: We instinctively dislike this act. Why? I believe the reasons differ for each individual. In my case, I felt like it was destroying me spiritually, mentally, and physically. Some of the symptoms of what I felt before Nofap (you will find a lot in common with other Fapstronauts):

1. Lack of confidence.
   
2. High anxiety.
   
3. Sensitive.
4. Guilty (for committing a sin).
5. Fatigued/Tired.
   
6. I believe it has made my eye vision weaker.
7. Feeling like I want to engage in sexual intercourse with almost every woman.
8. Brain fog.
   
9. Less concentration and focus.
   
10. High procrastination. Laziness.
    
11. Random dizziness throughout the day.
12. Tinnitus. (The reason I included this is because I no longer have it. I'm on Day 33 now and it just magically disappears?)

The Solution:
Guys let me tell you something, if you want to get rid of this dirty habit, the change starts NOW. Not the next second, not in a minute, not the whole "I'll do it one more time and then start" mentality, NOW. Always remember this golden rule in life: "If not you, then who? If not now, then when?" This section will give tips and tricks from my personal experience.

1. Intention. Make your intention sincere and stick to it. This is the first thing you need to do in order to spark up the mentality change within.
2. The mirror trick. Every time you get an urge, go straight to the mirror and talk to yourself. This may sound crazy but this is what I said to myself: "Why do you want to do it? Do you want to trade in a few moments of pleasure for guilt? What is wrong with you? Would you be pleased if someone close to you saw you do this? Of course not! Then why are you so okay with doing it when you know God is constantly watching? Listen to me, YOU ARE NOT going to do it you understand? You are going to go and do anything productive instead of this. Do not be a coward. Do not be a slave to your desires. Would you even do it while watching you own self doing it in the mirror? No? Then WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Remember why you started. You DO NOT want to objectify women, You DO NOT want to get brain fog, you DO NOT want to be lazy, and you DO NOT want to stay addicted to it. GO NOW" (It doesn't have to be the same as mine, but you get it right? heh.)
   
3. Constant information on what's going to happen to you, whatever you're feeling, and the harmful effects of engaging in this dirty habit. First of all, inform yourself ahead of time on what fellow fapstronauts went through. Keep binge reading stories (even if it's one story a day) about this. It will give you a general idea and mentally prepare you for what's coming. Second of all, if you're feeling extra tired, blue balled, hungry, moody, etc. all you need to do is google: "extra hungry nofap" (for example) and you will notice that many other Fapstronauts relate. This will help you in knowing that it's only just a small phase due to hormonal changes. Finally, go to: www.yourbrainonporn.com and read as much as you can there word to word. This is good because it will help you in the reboot process and provide you with a) beneficial knowledge and b) extrinsic motivation.
   
4. Exercise. Beginner, Intermediate, Intense. Whatever. Just exercise. Don't even give it two thoughts. It does help. Even if it's twice a week. Just do it. Sooner or later you will begin to get addicted to exercise and it will be a part of your life, another "habit" you can say.
   
5. Read Success Stories on Nofap. This is like having a positive, good companion, that motivates and advises you to do good and nothing but good. Reading success stories will make you want to be like the one's that did it. It is a good form of motivation. Read these especially when you're down. They're a constant reminder of why you're doing this. In fact, it is a WHOLE COMMUNITY of good companions helping you get to your goal. Do not underestimate the benefit of this gold mine. Do it.
   
6. Motivational Videos/Spiritual Reminders/Ted Talks. Instead of listening to music on your way home when you're done with work or university, listen to a good spiritual reminder, or a motivational video, or a ted talk of your choice! This helps even more in the reboot process. You're not only using your time wisely, but you are also learning as you go, and again, it's a motivational boost. Do not under estimate the power these have on you. They will help a lot.

Feel free to add any other tips you have personally done in this thread to help other Fapstronauts.

Conclusion:
I hope this benefited all of you. I am planning to write a success story but that is only after I reach 90 days. I want you, the reader, to keep your head up and continuously persist. In the end it all comes down to you and your decision. Do not crack. And always remember this golden advice, and take the fruits of this simple sentence that was written by that righteous man (may God exalt him in status): "If not you, then who? If not now, then when?"

 

Thank you @Septimus , glad to be here. What do you do? Congrats on Day 31!

 

Thank you very much for this beneficial post.