I'd recommend everyone here at least consider reading this book.

Hi guys, a few days ago I had a book recommended to me called "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns MD. I managed to find it online and within a few days reading the first few chapters has seriously altered my outlook on my life going forward.

To sum it up as succinctly as possible, the author states that thoughts dictate emotion, not the other way around, and that mental blocks, depression, and other issues can be overcome by taking the time to identify cognitive distortions that create irrational thoughts, recognize them as irrational, and cast them out. He also states that our feelings arent special and we shouldn't be so beholden to them, and that being so beholden to them is what causes us to have problems in the first place. Basically "We arent our feelings"

This kind of therapy is backed up by years of research so it isn't just pop psychology, and I think its a refreshing antidote to therapy that over-prescribes brain altering drugs and teaches people that being emotional is always a good thing. I'd seriously suggest anyone who sees this post check the book out and give it a shot, its certainly helped me.

 

I wouldn't say the main point the book is trying to make is that being emotional is always a good thing, its just tries to explain that their are various cognitive issues that affect our thought, and its these twisted thoughts that cause us to feel bad even when we know its irrational. The book provides various methods of overcoming these issues, hopefully allowing us to feel genuine sadness and genuine joy when these emotions occur naturally.

 

I think as a society we dont pay enough attention to minor-moderate mental issues in the same way we do to physical ones. If you suffer a minor to moderate injury that doesnt really require a trip to the hospital then you will most likely do something about it, but if you suffer a similar thing in your mind then most likely you wont do anything. This leads to an imbalance in the person where you can objectively be making progress in your life, and still feel like shit most of the time because your inner dialogue has become poisoned by years of unhealthy thoughts. We seem to be more than willing to clean our bodies but we neglect to clean our minds as well, and with the same level of care.

It sounds like wishy washy bullshit to say that simply altering your thoughts and outlook can work so well, but this kind of thing has been proven (see the book I recommended) to work. I for one have been doing really well with NoFap, and for a time it pushed me to improve, but then I plateaued and spent months falling further and further into a funk. Working harder didn't work, distracting myself didn't work, even talking to others about it and being more open didn't work. The only thing thats shown any sign to be working (although its early days) is the kind of thing taught in the book. I know that anecdotal evidence has little statistical validity, but tbh as long as it works for me I'm happy.

 

I'm glad that its been helpful, I certainly feel a lot better and a lot more in control than I did before I started reading it. I still have a ways to go (my recent relapse shows that) but I think starting a new streak with the knowledge I now have is a recipe for success.

 

I recommended the book because I thought it would help people in a more general sense but with regards to helping addiction looking at cognitive distortions is a very helpful thing to do if you want to quit PMO (or any addiction) as it can help with diagnosing the specific thought processes that cause relapse.