I was with a girl during reboot

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by neoaps, Nov 21, 2018.

  1. neoaps

    neoaps Fapstronaut

    50
    10
    8
    What a strange couple of days, i need some help and advice to be honest. So i haven't watched any porn i'd like to heavily stress for around 15 days now with no urge to as well but what did happen last Sunday was i ended up going to a girls house that I've known for a few months now and we did "things" lets just say, my main issue was just wondering if i'd obviously be able to get an erection and sustain it, for added insurance i took a "blue pill" and over the course of a couple of hours i had multiple solid erections but when the point came to "go all the way" i could feel it decreasing basically, i think it's more down to being anxious at the fact that i'm wondering if it'll go soft mid-sex. Although i did climax with a full solid erection which was pleasing (more so because i was able to do it with a full sized erection to be honest!). It's just a friends thing anyway so it's nothing serious or something that'll be planned again down the line but i was wondering if anyone had any comments or relateable situations or possibly a diagnosis on my progress so far based off those actions and circumstances from last Sunday? My main concern was should i have gone around there now knowing I've obviously seen a girl naked during this recovery from PIED have i damaged myself because of it or is it a different situation to just sitting there and clicking away mindlessly on porn? I think it is different because it's real life and a real person and not porn but I'd really like to know what others either think or might have been through similar things in the past to and how it affected them?

    Thanks again
     
  2. isak1902

    isak1902 Fapstronaut

    5
    0
    1
    Hi neoaps

    Sounds to me like it shouldn't really matter, as long as you didn't have to think of things or positions from Porn and were in the moment it should be fine. Ultimately it comes down to how you feel so if you feel like it was too much too soon then obviously you should stay away from sex for now.

    It's also important because if you are using a blue pill and are still worried about erections then having sex under these circumstances could make you anxious any time you have sex, as you wouldn't know if you could do it 'by yourself'. Or you might become dependent on using "blue pill" or something to make sure it works.

    Looking forward to your response :)
     
  3. neoaps

    neoaps Fapstronaut

    50
    10
    8
    Yeah i think you're right when you say it comes down to how you feel and at the moment i'm feeling really good regarding my attitude to staying away from porn, I've absolutely no desire to watch it and am much more interested in getting better.

    I personally don't think seeing a naked girl in real life and watching stupid amounts of porn when getting a dopamine fix that way is the same thing and i was grateful i was able to get a couple of hard erections while with a girl even with a bit of help but i'm planning on easing myself off them (bill pills) by only taking half of one next time if i need it and then a quarter the next time if needed etc...
     
  4. whatrichme

    whatrichme Fapstronaut

    97
    184
    33
    I read reports on vast majority of women never experienced orgasm, plus many centuries of conditioning,
    women generally have low expectation on sex. thus anything not ideal during sex are no big deal.
    I realize women are very tolerant on this, much more than men think they do.

    My understanding is, women are turned on for their (in)decision to let you in, and the opportunity to connect with another human being.
    If you can't satisfy them physically in one particular encounter, you probably will next time, and they know.
    If you can satisfy them physically they will follow you for their life, take it as a bonus, good to be but it's entirely optional.

    Having sex during reboot is doubled edged. You can check your progress, but it may slow it a little bit. Just beware of chaser effect.
     
  5. isak1902

    isak1902 Fapstronaut

    5
    0
    1
    Yeah beware of the chaser effect + the thrill of having sex (idk your dating history, but for a lot of guys on here sex is a big deal). It's a major tripping point.
     
  6. neoaps

    neoaps Fapstronaut

    50
    10
    8
    I will definitely say i have been very tempted over the last week to go and have sex again on the basis that i was able to get multiple erections and orgasm as i've felt pretty confident over the last week at the thought of being with girls again but i think i'm going to leave it and pass until i've clocked in more days without porn and give my mind a bit more time to "want it". Still no urge to watch porn though which is a big relief, i feel like i've turned a corner this time and relapsing on porn isn't my major fear anymore, it's my mind set during future sex with girls sadly :/
     
  7. isak1902

    isak1902 Fapstronaut

    5
    0
    1
    Sort of in the same boat as you... It's a tough one because performance anxiety is a difficult thing to put in the back of your mind and causes a downward spiral. How's the rest of your life outside of nofap? Is it something you're proud of or is sex a #1 priority?
     
  8. neoaps

    neoaps Fapstronaut

    50
    10
    8
    I'm proud of most of my life minus a couple of things i'd say (porn being one of them), we are all human and all have different faults with this one being all of ours. Problem is not many outside our age groups know much about it or pretend it's not a real thing.

    Real sex for me with a girl down the line again is one of my main priorities and making sure i can do everything i can to ensure it should go as normal/natural as possible without being hindered by porn. The problem is the brain doesn't want us to succeed because it has gotten that use to us using it and being addicted to it that we constantly keep having to fight it and rewire it without the knowledge of knowing how long it'll take!
     
  9. isak1902

    isak1902 Fapstronaut

    5
    0
    1
    Well it seems to me like you have the right mindset then! Part of a successful nofap will be about improving the rest of your life so that you don't need vices.

    And yeah it requires lots of faith in yourself to make it, good luck!
     

Share This Page