I was addicted to porn. I quit. Problems in bed with GF. PLEASE HELP

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Jakeadelics, May 9, 2019.

  1. Jakeadelics

    Jakeadelics New Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,

    I just discovered this’s site today. I’m here for help.

    I’ve been in a relationship for sometime now. We’re moved in together. She’s an amazing woman. She’s beautiful, sweet, and caring. I’m grateful for her. But, I just haven’t had a high sex drive lately. She is irritable and stressed about it.

    Now, before we dated..I watched porn almost every night..I was lonely and didn’t go out much. So I turned to porn to fill the gap. This was the case for almost 2 years. When we dated, we had long distance. I once again turned to porn.

    After a couple of months, I finally stopped watching “cold turkey”. I thought it would help, but I just don’t have a high sex drive. Although, I do feel attracted to her and even at times I want to have sex with her. But, during some of those times...it takes me a very long time and sometimes I’ll go soft. I haven’t watched in about a month.

    I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world, I have no desire to break it off. It’s demorlizing to know you can’t please someone you love. I just want us to have a healthy sex life. PLEASE HELP! I’ll take ANY advice anyone wants to give

    Just a couple notes: I do take adderall daily. I’m also getting my testosterone checked. These 2 could be factors as well.
     
  2. Bale

    Bale Fapstronaut

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    Hey there, you can satisfy your lady without even using your penis. I don't need to draw you a picture. Have you already explored that with her?
     
  3. Jakeadelics

    Jakeadelics New Fapstronaut

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    Yes. But her favorite thing is intercourse and that’s all she really wants. She enjoys the oral, but she also really looks forward to the penatrarion
     
  4. Bale

    Bale Fapstronaut

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    What about fingers? When done correctly she can reach orgasm quickly. Anyway I'm only suggesting alternatives. As far as erection issues, depending on how long you've been without PMO you might be experiencing a flatline, in which case just give it a few more weeks. Or you might suffer from performance anxiety, reinforced by the idea you're unable to satisfy her, in which case you might want to take more time to relax and enjoy yourself. Another thing I can think of is lifestyle. Lifting weights regularly and eating enough fat can have a high impact on libido.
     
  5. Jakeadelics

    Jakeadelics New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the honest help. I’m glad to hear that I can do tasks to help improve it
     
  6. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

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    First - change take time. People do report this issue after stopping porn for few weeks, and normal function does come back.

    Also make sure you are not using medications or drugs that affect your libido,

    Finally be open with your GF, talk to her and seek support.
     
  7. drkarim

    drkarim Fapstronaut

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  8. Daxos

    Daxos Fapstronaut

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    Most guys with PIED recover between 60 days and 120 days. And pretty much all of those guys experience the flatline for a certain amount of time (some multiple weeks at a time). You are not well enough into NoFap to get the hard benefits yet. In one of my earliest reboots, nearly 2 years ago, I got better erections around the 25th day mark, but I was pretty sure I couldn't yet get a good erection with a woman yet. By the time I reached 84 days I was having good erections on my own due to fantasy (not recommendable), but noticed that I still needed a lot of wiring to real girls before I could get those same results with a woman.

    My point: you need more time away from ANY sexual activity. Most NoFap gods really press the idea of going 30 days completely asexual (no PMO, no sex, no fantasy, no nothing), just to give your system a really good rest. After 30 days, you can start fooling around with your girlfriend again, but do not orgasm until at least day 60. From day 60, you can start having orgasms once a week until day 90, and from day 90 to day 120, you can crank it up to 1 orgasm per 3 days (only with a girl! Never on your own!). By this time, your bonds to porn will have been broken and your pathways to real girls will have taken over.
     

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