Restart - new begining

hello to all nofap community
my name is sumer from india
I m 22 years old
addicted to porn from 12 years but now i want to leave this my life is not what i wanted i know it can be change when i ask my self why its happening i realise its my addiction
what i see that i become porn porn porn that was i was watching that and bcoz of that
stress ,anxiety,jaleousy everything all negative feeling critizing my self hating my self no self control a negative thinker i became.
i decided to take reboot 90 days chllenge tried failed again tried failed but its a marathon race this time i will win
In india i cant share this to anyone people act like i have some disease bcoz porn is normal for them but no i want to leave this i dont want it anymore i have the capabilities to become big ,extra ordinary for that i have to leave this addiction i need to start my life living to the 100% even for smallest thing
i completed my seven days wow i won a battle in a war there will be many battle more next goal 21days

 

yeah i m here DJ its all bcoz of your support that i m here
yes today urgue came i m addicted to incest porn that kind of thought always come in my mind but now i realize and today i m in my control i know its bad for me i m on NO PMO so yes there are many stuff to do we need to short out it whats going on my life problems come thought come lets see porn and masturbrate even if a small problem i m like full dull but this is also a phase i m on my recovery mode if i can go through this i can do anything it makes us strong i just need to continue my challenge if you have problems and going through hell keep going man keep going dont give up

 

opps i got caught again i need to reset my counter yes cheaser effect trying to catch but i m going for sleep gn

 

starting again yes i did relapse i woke up till late night and watch porn and masturbrated then the whole night i masturbrate 4-5 times woke up late at 12 this happen next day regret guilt again watch porn bcoz of that same routine even when i say i m on pmo unconsiously i go to watch porn then i come back but i want t quit this friends i need plan
1)sleep early
2)regret will give u nothing what happen i cant change

so yes i m starting again i know i m not be able to go directly 90 days
i will start with 7 day but no porn no PMO
some question i wanna ask me daily
1)what you did and what you learn to fight against your addiction
2)what time your sleep
3)when you woke up
4)best thing you did
5)what i learn from my mistake

 

day 3 yes i m clean
there is jaleousy inside me by seeing people i think they are laughing at me i think bullshit yes i m having alot of anxiety
temptation that you are not earning how you will become successful you are failure see that people see that person he is have a girlfriend
you cant do it but i know all this is bullshit its all my thought which i have seen from past yes to be perfect type thoughts come there are regret but bro its K to be not perfect i must be happy with what i m toltally happy with my impertise but i m not able to yes i m working good i m not earning that much but i will earn soon but my mind is fucking me i have to work on it
1) what you did and what you learn to fight against your addiction
i came 2 nofap
2)what time your sleep yesterday
12:30 night
3)when you woke up
6:30 morning
4)best thing you did
came to college ,did my aptitude practise and i m done with it part 1
its 11:31 am and my whole day is in my hand i will cme daily to uni
5))what i learn
i learn that its not your body is paining in the morning its all your lazyness nothing else once your woke up you are done bro you are done thats it wash your face prey to god give me the energy to be worthy using this amazing day

 

Day 4 an another clean day
moood is off i m searching some happiness everywhere i m not getting it the dophamine which was being releasing and happinesss i was getting from porn now i m not getting it i m going opening 100 time social sites no porn but social sites like facebook and whatsapp having a thought that a girls whould have messeged me or that girl would have accepted my friend request fuck it man i know this is one phase but its k i have go through it its called comfortable of being uncomfortable i have completed my 4 clean days after a very long time i have goal of 7 clean days and yes i wll complete that even i will go through hell i m gono complete these 7 days thousand of thoughts are there searching motivation videos going crazy seeking approval fuck everything meko nikalna hai inn sabse ha kardiya bandh 7 days ke liye email me ji raha hu no whatsapp fuck it no social sites but then what may be books but books are boring i have to find some interesting books thats it for today
1)came to nofap
2)12:00
3)8 am
4)made 3 videos for youtube
made thumbnail ,had a clean day ,uninstall whatsapp made notes thats
5)i m going through a process there will be light soon i believe in him

 

Day 7 yes today is my last day of completing my one week to no PMO and i will complete it yes my morning was not good i had a fight with my family members but its fine that happens i m feeling guilty but i forgive my self to be angry i didnt watch porn or anything yes i must accept people as it is they are i always think why they are not hardworking why they are living a mediocer life but they are happy in that yes i want to live a life awesome so i will live why i should expect other to live i must accept people how they are i m reading a book no more mr nice guy you must also read its awesome and helpful the whole week was good there were no urgues that much becoz i was on time to sleep and out of the home in uni yes next week will be though but it will be awesome i m excited

 

everything is going awesome brother i m going good i completed my week 2 without porn and i m on my 19th days so happy for me first time i know its not very long time 19 days but i m happy bcoz it was my clean 19 days no pmo yes i must admit something
first week was very tough now i m ohk with urgues i can handle it but i must come to nofap daily i must write everything daily i must remember myself that porn is not good for me and i m on a missiopn daily bcoz addiction is very good in manipulation and it will manupulate me very easy but i must be strong minded i want to be addiction free its not a wish its commitment what i made to myself i must remember this everyday every hour
i made four list
1)master list
in this write my dreams
addictiopn free
2)montly list
30 days no pmo
3)weekly list
7days nopmo
4)daily list
today no pmo
this is how i m working
on my life on my dreams on my addiction

 

its day 23
yes i m back on nofap yesterday i realise that its ohk to be uncomfortable i was doing all stuff apart of pmo like social sites youtube and whatsapp and everything which can give me dophamine my body is urguing dophamine like hell iwass like why all this happening tome
i planned to make vlog videos of mine once i cross 10days gap so i made my first video after 10 days and there were many thing to speak about in video what to do what not to do what i m doing to avoid pmo but when i planed to make my 20 days complete video this moment there was nothing to speak i mean i was just going with the flow doing those thing which i should not do going on social sites expecting girls msg and replies checking phone in every seconds and i realized ohhh ineed to do something i totally agree i was doing all his bcoz my mind was like hell may changes was coming i think its rewiring so its happening mood swing nad many more stuff but today i strted again no i didnt relapse not even saw a porn videos but i m starting to do those which is required apart of wasting time on social sites
i did my excercise
listen to some motivational videos and understood many things
now i m on nofap lalso and thanx to kohie he is always a savier for me
and i will give my 100% what ever energy i m having to change my life and this addiction i m gonno bring revolution in some part of world i have that capabilities i just first want to win from myself i m not fucking affraid of world

 

yes bro sure once i quit it
i m warrior
a leader i just want to win from myself want to understand me

 

Its Day 32
after a long time i m writing this i dont know any body read this also
yes i completed 30+ days but mind is going uncontroll i didnt did PMO but there are urgues for girls i m desperate
i remember one sentence said by my friend
sumer just imagine there is a boy who eat burger everyday and he loves it if he stop eating burger for one week what will be his condition i was like very bad he will have urgue for it like i want a fucking burger same condition happen to me i m going mad because there is no option of PMO which was my burger so now my mind is going mad i know it will take time to recover but if that boy dont get burger for 3 months then he will start having smething new and forget about burger i must wait try new things crazy things i cant stay at home if i will be there i will seek intrnet and send random request to girls so its better to go to college here i cant access social sites yes urgues are there to have a girlfriend but its not i love a girls its an urgure once i complete my journey i will have a girlfriend and i wont die if i will not have a girlfriend for more 60 days so this is all going on

 

i break my lifetime high score of 35 days thank you everyone for this

 

i m reading a book now a days no more mr nice guy
a very awesome book in this book there is an excercise given if you dont cate what people think how you will reacts to people ?
i said yes i will try i was totday out with my friends to a picnic spot
there were girls i was not caring about the world but i was chasing them i was leaving my life precious moment and was chasing them its not only me even my friends were chasing them why we chase women if we dont care about world why we cant be happy alone why all this thought?
how can i get a girl like that
she is so beautiful
why those boy are with them and i m not
why we are not getting any girl why ?
do you know ?