I want to give up.

Day 2. I'm finally back into the grind. Finally working on my life again after weeks of reclusion. After seeing the success of all the people around me, I'm starting to feel inferior, because of all the things I COULD have achieved by just working through the hard part, but didn't. But if I give up now and revert back to reclusion in my room, I will regret it.

It's hard. I'm disappointed, but I am going to stay on track. I'm only posting here to let document my feelings. Yes, I'm feeling lonely now, but I believe this is a step up from before. I buried my feelings before. I didn't feel lonely before when I was isolating myself. Only now that I'm fighting my own battle do I realize I'm feeling lonely.

I came here to show my feelings. There is someone out there who can relate, who's going through these struggles as well. So am I. I want to give up. But it's not over yet. I'm going to keep going through this pain and I'll eventually be strong enough to not only endure it, but to feel as if the pain is nothing. Let's do this.

 

Thank you so much for all of your replies! I'm reading them all and I got through the pain. That old me is not an option. I love the me that's going through this pain right now and getting stronger. I feel like jumping right into my good "normal" routine again is making me feel all of the withdrawals symptoms at once. This feeling will pass. The only thing that will remain is the results of my actions. I will keep going.

It really helps that I looked up "nofap withdrawal symptoms" when I was starting to feel pain. Knowing that the aches in random parts of your body (literally a physical reaction), the mental images of P (mental), and the sadness (emotional) are all part of the process helped me to accept the situation I'm in and work through it anyway. The storm will pass. It will probably get a lot worse when it passes and you may be weak during that point, but you can make it. And when you make it, you will be stronger on the other side.

 

Sounds like a good idea! I'll pm you.

As for the "destroying your life over PMO." I feel you. It has the potential to destroy mine right now. I stayed away from drugs, alcohol, etc. and right now it really feels like PMO has the same exact effect as indulging in any of the other vices.

 

The first sentence was enough to keep me solid. All the other reminders were icing on the cake. I appreciate the reminders stren. It helps reinforce why I'm fighting.

I refuse to stay down

 

I'll see you at Valentine's - with a 33 day streak.

 

Hey man, I'm on day 11 today, and I was so tempted to relapse, I was starting to edge already. I stopped myself, came here and I feel renewed just by reading this. I have a commitment to keep, thanks a lot for your input. Thanks to your help, I've found that burying my emotions (because I don't yet know how to deal with them) is one of my major triggers. So here I am, staying strong and recommitted to working through these emotional times. The streak to a good life goes on.