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I told my friend yesterday. Only mercy.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Oscillation, Feb 17, 2015.

  1. Oscillation

    Oscillation Fapstronaut

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    I told my best friend yesterday about my porn addiction. I'm glad he understood and that he told me about his own experience in the area, rather than critize me - as I often do to myself.

    It brought my inner self to peace.
    And I'm glad.
     
  2. BlackVelvet

    BlackVelvet Fapstronaut

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    That's great for you ^~^. I wish I could tell my friends or even my brother! It's helpful to have understanding friends
     
  3. Dorian Gray

    Dorian Gray Fapstronaut

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    you can tell family, or not tell them it's 100% up to you because it's your demon not theirs, I would let my family know but I know the feeling of wanting to tell family about this problem and you know support is there but on the other hand you don't wanna look stupid for some reason imo thats how i feel on the matter wiith my family.
     
  4. Highlander

    Highlander Fapstronaut

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    I once told a friend about it too. I felt great relief. Sadly we dont talk so much anymore. I read once that it's important to recovery, so if you found a merciful ear, a friend you can count on, you are in the right way.
     
  5. Lumberjack88

    Lumberjack88 Fapstronaut

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    I decide this week I'm going to discuss this with my best friend, knowing him, he might not understand all the reasons why, but he will respect it and help keep me accountable!
     
  6. Dorian Gray

    Dorian Gray Fapstronaut

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    thats awesome! i wish you all luck
     
  7. Oscillation

    Oscillation Fapstronaut

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    Great guys!
    The best part is when your friend can tell you about his problems in life, and you suddenly realizes that your not that alone after all. Sure, you struggle with PMO, but I'm convinced everybody struggle with something. As it showed, my friend struggles to - not PMO though.
     
  8. Oscillation

    Oscillation Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes I want to tell my brother too, but I'm scared of course. But chanses are even he is watching porn on a rutine - atleast according to statistics. But still, what if he doesn't understand the struggle?

    I think it's up to every man himself to decide how good his relationship is with his brother, and there on either tell him or not. Will it help? Probably.

    Good luck in figure it out, weather you'll tell or not.
     
  9. Triangle

    Triangle Fapstronaut

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    Hey ,

    Well done on telling someone. I found it's a hard thing to do because we really have to trust them. And then when we do tell them there is a risk they won't really understand.

    From talking to my shrink, I know that our addictions are often hidden away from the real world. We do it behind locked doors and curtained windows. People generally know when a loved one has a drink, drugs, gambling or food problem. However our addiction is hidden away.

    This is what gives the porn addiction the oxygen to survive. It is its own little world where external factors rarely affect it or cause us to question it.

    Opening up to another person brings our problem out in to the real world. It exposes our hidden secret to reality.
     
  10. Oscillation

    Oscillation Fapstronaut

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    Exactly! And by bringing it to reality I may for the first time in my life confess to my self that it is "for real", my problem that is. All these years hidden away, my porn consumption also in a way has been hidden away from me - the "real" me.
     
  11. Triangle

    Triangle Fapstronaut

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    You dont have to tell me brother. I was originally in with my therapist for drinking and depression. I gave up booze straight away, stopped taking recreational drugs, worked on my empathy and lots of other great things. One day a couple of years later he said " Theres something you are not telling me " I was like " No, I dont think so". He said you dont drink, take drugs, gamble, have an eating disorder so its sex. Tell the truth about sex.... " Well Doc, i masturbate every day, see hookers, get asian massages,go to swingers parties, have a relationship with a dominatrix.. But I dont think its really relevant" !!

    Thats how hidden from MY OWN brain my problem was ! I know not everyone is as crazy as me but its just an example of the power of an addiction to shield our conscious mind and reality from whats going on beneath. My addiction was totally compartmentalised behind concrete walls that were virtually impossible to get behind. Once opened to reality however those walls started to crumble.
     
    PaFappa the Rapper likes this.
  12. Oscillation

    Oscillation Fapstronaut

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    Wow! Sets some perspective to my own life, my own problems. Thank you for sharing!
     
  13. spike1899

    spike1899 Fapstronaut

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    It's definitely a great feeling to tell someone that you can trust very closely about such an addiction. I had told my buddy about the addiction a few weeks ago, and he was nothing short of being supportive. It probably helped that I've known him for quite a long time, and that we've gotten some good connections to help each other along the way with other aspects of life. What's more important is that now that he knows of how I'm tackling this addiction (changes in routine, this forum, and changing my outlook on certain aspects of life), I had talked to him about some other things I wanted to get off my chest, and he had mentioned that this forum would serve as a great resource in order to really find a way to get over this common obstacle that we're all facing, along with other obstacles that we face on a daily basis.
     

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