I thought I was rebooted but I ended up in this shit again

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by JustinX, Aug 9, 2016.

  1. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

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    After 60 days of my first attempt I felt rebooted, I was doing great, I was happy, I had great normal sex (after previous total PIED), everything was great and then I changed environment just for 3 weeks and that was enough to put me on road to relapse.

    I was horny so I said 1 masturbation per week should be okey, first week I managed to do it, second I did it twice, the third week I start to watch porn when masturbating what quickly escalated to fetish porn and masturbating once every 3-4 days (for past two weeks).
    The frequency itself is not the problem, the stupid femdom porn (that I watching) is. Omg how I hate that stupid porn, I am so disgusted by it and the women in that porn but every couple days I have weak 15 minutes when I open it and later regret again and again.

    Afterwards I feel without energy, demotivated, depressed, closed to human connection. After 4 days when it start to change for better I relapse again and same fucking story continues on.

    I cant stay clean on my own longer then 4-5 days but with noFap it was so easy last time so here I am again my brothers and sisters, this time for whole 90 days.
     
    iceman40, iHappy and MsPants like this.
  2. MsPants

    MsPants Guest

    I think for all addicts, whether it is porn or another addiction, it will always be there in the back ground waiting for you to indulge in it. Always being aware of what may happen if you give in once is good to remind yourself no matter how far you've made it in your reboot. There are many on here that relapse a year or two later and I think its because they believe they are healed and convince themselves that they won't fall back into that dark place again. But if it's an addiction, it is easy for the addiction to spark back up. Glad you are back on here and motivated to start again. It does get easier as time goes on, but an addict always has to be mindful of their drug (porn) and the hold it has on them. Good luck and stay strong
     
    zathura, JustinX and iHappy like this.
  3. iHappy

    iHappy Guest

    @JustinX Change of the environment is hard, it usually lead to stress and I strongly believe that stress played a major role in your relapse.
    Some people can masturbate occasionally and never watch porn, looks like you aren't one of those.

    Good luck, you already know what to do.
     
    JustinX and MsPants like this.
  4. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys for support you are awesome! :)
     
    MsPants likes this.
  5. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    P addiction is like an illness that can be controlled. You can either let it consume you, or you can fight and control it.
    It will get the better of you some days, but other days it won't.
     

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