I am posting a new journal for the New Year. I want this year to be better, more positive, more progress. My old journal is "Is there a right way for being strong? Feels like I'm doing things all wrong" My story with my husband is This My husband's journal is here Song that inspired the title of my journal I am going to be formatting my journal differently this time. I am going to format it as a friend once told me to do long ago. January 2, 2018 One thing I am thankful for: Baby A One thing I love about myself: I love my intelligence and self-awareness One thing I want to improve: I want to be more confident Positives from BD today: BD complimented me BD surprised me with a strawberry smoothie and cappuccino BD set up an individual therapy session for Saturday BD went on NoFap and read some threads What I want to work on: confidence self-acceptance patience knowing my happiness does not depend on my marriage The obgyn called this morning before BD left for work, and they had an opening at 11 with the head of the practice and BD said I should take the slot, so ok. I am hoping that she says I am healed and ready to exercise. I want to be able to exercise safely (given I abused exercising in my anorexia), and get on a good meal plan, and really take my anorexia recovery seriously. BDs PA has pretty much affected my anorexia in the most negative way. Yes, I am not underweight because I just had a baby but my mind is filled with ED thoughts. I want to try changing my thought patterns. On January 4th, that marks the first complete year of not being in a treatment center since 2013. I will have made it one year without relapsing to the point of needing treatment, I never thought I could do that.