i relapsed after five days

Don't kill yourself. Over the years I and hundreds of thousands have relapsed. I know of no one who quit that did not relapse. I don't know anyone who said simply "I am quitting" and just quit. It takes education and tools. I am an addict. This thought helped me quit. Am I really? I don't know, but the thought helped me. I must have told myself a hundred times I was quitting and failed. Over the last 18 months I have gotten more serious with quitting. First off, recognize your brain has a problem. Yes, preachy and presumptuous, but here goes. It might be helpful for you, as it was for me, not so much to recognize that "I" have a problem, but that my brain has a problem. My brain likes porn. My brain reacts to porn a certain way. Chemicals are released when I watched porn that I love but I hate. I had to to hate them more than I loved them for recovery to begin and that was... a huge first step. Once I really, really, decided to quit I had to fail a few times over and over again. Then, finally, I took steps to learn what was happening to my brain and to use tools to stop it. The tools are, forums like this. I post here and reply here; it helps. Also, I got educated, I began to learn and study brain modifications due to porn, how porn rewires the brain, how my brain had been rewired, and how I could rewire it back to something approach normal. I also learned that any brain stimulation that caused those chemicals to be released were bad, and I mean any. The first benefit of this, which I did not recognize at the time, was to break the P from the MO. I did not know it at the time, but that was huge. The studies do not teach that. After that I still compulsively watched P, but I did not MO to it. After that I radically reduced my MO, which lead to where I am now, not watching P and not MOing either. I cannot say the urge is not there, it is, but by changing habits, I have started to rewire my addicted brain. Use the tools. I know you want to quit, but recognize it won't happen without some outside assistance, and use that. Forgive me for being presumptuous, I am, just trying to give some affirmative advice and support. Saying what worked for me. Porn addiction recovery takes is a process, not an event. Good luck in your journey, but be glad you are on it.

 

wow, what can i really add that william here hasn't already said? well put sir!

truth be told you have the right mindset already to beat this. so you had a slip, you've acknowledged that and taken ownership of it. and you also understand the only way to go from here is forward.

progress for all but the luckiest of us is by no means linear. relapses happen, probably more than most of us like to admit. i relapsed a couple dozen times myself over the years trying to quit porn.

remember the progress u did make, and how it made u feel. dont you want more of that? dont u want to see what else is waiting for u? can u imagine the person you'll be after you break your PMO addiction? and is any quick and unfulfilling urge really worth taking that away from you?

like i've said you got the right attitude. don't beat yourself up over the relapse. the fact that you're still here, and still want to change means you haven't lost the fight. stay strong soldier!

 

I speak from experience. I'm still new to this but I had my first major relapse last week. After nearly 14 days totally PMO-free, I went on a week-long binge. Imagine how I felt. Defeated, ashamed and depressed.

Because during those 14 days I felt pretty good. I could see changes beginning to happen and I was really liking what I saw. Then just like that, the urges took over and I reverted back to my old ways for almost a week.

I'm nearing the end of Day 2 of my reset as of this post and the urges are strong but manageable right now. I've put the regret behind and I'm on a fresh path again, that fills me with a lot of optimism.

So yeah, you slipped, you gave in to the urges. You're human. Most of us here have been PMO'ing for a long time and a lot of us are new with NoFap. It's unrealistic to think that change is going to happen overnight. But don't look at the long-term. I think many of us look at 30 or 90 days and think "Oh god, that's an eternity! I've only been fighting these urges for 2 days!" and that can feel overwhelming. Adopt the old addicts creedo "One Day At A Time". Don't worry about the weeks or months. Just get through today, when you've done that, get through tomorrow and so on and so on and soon you'll find you have dozens of days behind you.

 

Hi!

Relapsing on some level happens to most of us.

See each attempt as a stretching of your boundaries. The more you stay away from PMO the more your brain and receptors heal.

I relapsed after 45 days, because i wasn't prepared for my increased libido, so to calm it down i started to sex chat. Everyone has his own trigger and vulnerabilities. For each time we relapse, we learn more about the porn addiction-enemy.


As you mention, its good to take one day at a time and stay very occupied. Either hobbies or work. If you need to relax, only meditate or sleep.
Do Zen meditation, where you not only lock out thoughts of porn, but any thoughts for 20 minutes. That strenghtens your frontal lobe and makes it harder to relapse. ALthough it may take some month to strenghen your brain through mediation. Continue to mediate even if you relapse.

good luck

 

i relapsed after 3 months lust got the best of me, cam sites are a NO! The urge just came out that day, i was happy for those pathetic 5 min from looking at a image and then depression on what i had done.you have to force yourself to change just restart and try harder learn from this.