I relapsed after 120 days and I feel much better off streak

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Guybrushgood, Sep 6, 2018.

  1. Guybrushgood

    Guybrushgood Fapstronaut

    So, let's see. I had serious problems into my 120 days streak, with anxiety, insecurities, nervousness, inability to concentrate, no desire to socialite, etc... Absolute hell That was because I started with nofap. I relapsed 3 days ago with a prostitute and cummed once, the next day I watched porn and masturbated for 10 minutes, the same for next day and the next one, Here I am. Anxiety symptoms lowered 70%. I can say if you allow me that I didn't binge. I don't understand how to relate my experience with my streak. In nofap I was living a hell, but now I feel calm and I can speak without stuttering and also can feel emotions again, instead of only feel nervousness and weird for 4 month, Help me with this struggle, I know what is porn, But maybe was the sex with the woman, i dont know...
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 21, 2018
  2. Blossom

    Blossom Fapstronaut

    You said that after you slept with the prostitute and masturbated you felt a lot better with yourself and also that your anxiety levels decreased in 70%, so why is it such a struggle for you? it must be a good thing
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. George2357

    George2357 Fapstronaut

    I wouldn't get the wrong idea about it. Many people have anxiety symptoms when trying to quit porn for the simple reason that they are addicted to it and their brains start craving it.
    It is hard to leave porn because immediately after using it we feel better, just like with any addiction.
    But in the long run, any addiction is detrimental to our well being. Yes, we feel bad when we quit porn, but that doesn't last forever. It may last for long if we were heavily addicted, which makes us fall into the trap of thinking that porn is good for us. But sooner or later, the brain learns to keep going without that addiction and everything goes better afterwards, better than when we engaged in our addiction.
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2018
  4. jorg78

    jorg78 Fapstronaut

    A drug addict may feel okay/normal after taking drugs, but will never reach the optimal level of well-being.

    Just saying.
  5. OrangeJuice13

    OrangeJuice13 Fapstronaut

    I think nofap isn't going to help you improve anything in your life if you don't make an effort to be a better person. That sounds super presumptuous so I'm sorry if you're actually an amazing guy irl but the way you wrote that post makes me skeptical. You gotta open your heart and actively strive to be less judgemental. The main thing that makes me think so is the way you said "the slut." I'm no soft lad who cries over girls being disrespected, but I think that by using degrading language like that it's just 1. a projection of how you truly feel about yourself; shit, and 2. a barrier preventing you from growing as an individual and allowing the important relationships in your life to take precendence.
    Once again I know nothing about you so sorry if I'm out of line, but the way you wrote that last sentence had me worrying.
    Having said all that I've never been on 120 days myself :( so I guess I can't truly relate to the sorts of physical effects that may have had on you. Wish you all the best on your rebound!
  6. Guybrushgood

    Guybrushgood Fapstronaut

    The issue is that nofap didn't work for me, After this relief I feel calmer, when it supposes I should have felt worse after relapse, maybe it is because I don't binge in front the screen for several hours, just jack off in 10 minutes and thats it. I dont want to encourage you to fap, dont misunderstand me.
  7. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

    With all the trouble you were having during your nofap it sounds like something healthy, something you like did not take the place and the time of what your habit was. Just a guess.
    As for the feeling now, sure, just like in the very beginning, it felt amazing, it calmed you down. This is like beginning all over again. Which means you will probably end up at the low point again that brought you here.
    I don't know you, just giving some thoughts that might help.
  8. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    This sounds like shilling and spreading Fap Propaganda. I bet it's another arm of George Soros.
  9. Guybrushgood

    Guybrushgood Fapstronaut

    I swear it isn't. I only wanted you to know the experience Im going through.
  10. Guybrushgood

    Guybrushgood Fapstronaut

    Im confused with this, even more because I hate porn and just wanna be calm so I can talk properly with girls and not being nervous around people, etc. Maybe I wasnt so addict as I used to belive, Im really strugling wirh the issue and how it affects my person. Perhaps I will turn back with bad symptoms soon and I might apologize you all.
  11. Blossom

    Blossom Fapstronaut

    Nah, I'm good, man.
  12. For me and alot of other people on here porn is just a symptom of something deeper. I struggle with porn but on a deeper level I struggle with a damaged identity as a person. I struggle to find value or worth in my being. Ive had streaks of 30-60 days where I felt horrible and had great relief when I PMOd. I think the relief came because I was doing something that aligned with my false beliefs about myself. That Im not worth much, Im broken and I dont deserve freedom and a better life. Ive come to a place where my beliefs about myself and others has changed. I believe I am valuable and others are too. I believe we all deserve true love and real freedom. And above all I belive that I am loved and accepted by God and that he wants me to be the best person I can be. Just some of my own personal beliefs as an example. I had to change these beliefs because theres no point in no pmo if I dont deserve anything different. Its easier for me to feel better when I abstain and I pick myself up quicker when I fall. Godspeed in your search for answers.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 6, 2018
    signmeup likes this.
  13. signmeup

    signmeup Fapstronaut

    The best run I had was 89 days and that was long before I knew about nofap.

    On the 90th day I decided to test myself to see if I was still addicted, I had a quick look and a tug then walked away from the computer and felt good. I thought, I'm cured, I no longer feel I have to look at porn but if I want to that's ok I'm in control.

    This became what I coined my healthy approach, accepting that I enjoy porn but knowing at anytime I could stop.

    I was only fooling myself.

    You see like most people today I have issues.

    I've had therapy to try and address these but at times life just gets on top of me and my go to is masturbation and as the cycle moves photos, then nudity, soft core, hard core, and so on, even crossing borders of sexuality and worse.... now does that sound healthy and in control?

    You see, if there are problems which manifest in your life then the answers are not found in a bottle, baggy, or porn site it is all just false hope, smoke and mirrors.

    You say that you hate porn but function better when using it then perhaps you are the exception to the rule however I'd guess this is probably not the case and encourage you to seek help in addressing any underlying problems.
  14. Abetterbrain

    Abetterbrain Fapstronaut

    I have to agree with you here. When I Fap I tend to binge - watch many videos for hours on end and edge. Afterwards I feel nerves wired and shit. Sometimes when I rarely fap for 10, 20 or 30 minutes like you say I don't feel these effects. I guess it's all the stuff they say about down regulating your dopamine receptors if they are bathed in dopamine for hours of novel porn.
  15. BeanBurrito

    BeanBurrito Fapstronaut

    You were just going through post acute withdrawal man
    Tywin Lannister likes this.
  16. TheManDude

    TheManDude Fapstronaut

    Maybe you're trying to justify that you PMOed, that part it's not going to bring anything good to your life, I mean there is a reason why you started to quit Porn right? Don't give in yourself to it again.

    About being with the prostitute, well I've been in that situation and the feeling of sexual release is incredible, but is empty as it gets... the way I see it I was just trading the PMO adiction to a hookers adiction and that's worst, you may want to think that better.
    Guybrushgood likes this.
  17. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    You were going through Post acute withdrawal syndrome. Which means now you've just gone back to your addicted state.

    The idea is to push through withdrawal and you come out the other side stronger. PMO relieved your symptoms in the short term, sure, but won't help you beat the addiction.
  18. SensualLettuce

    SensualLettuce Fapstronaut

    Take my opinion with a grain of salt, but that's why I consider the addiction a crutch. Different streak of 90+ days but I consecutively relapsed similar to when you did and I noticed something (until yesterday, but that's different to this), I felt far more clear minded then soon after, not so much. It gave me temporary relief but I still ended up feeling bad. NoFap rewards long term progress from experience.
  19. Guybrushgood

    Guybrushgood Fapstronaut

    Hi everyone. Ive built up a 120 days Streak again. And here I am with the same struggle. Feeling extreextreeely nervous, social anxiert, annoying inability to concentrate. Its awful. This time I aiming for longer as I can go. But feeling as If yesterday was first day Streak.
    Tywin Lannister likes this.
  20. Tywin Lannister

    Tywin Lannister Fapstronaut

    Congratulations on your streak!

    Seems like PMO has been a big issue for your brain chemicals buddy. This withdrawal journey can be a lot longer than expected for many people, but in the end we will all heal if we push through.

    What were your habits? Did you PMO frequently? Did you edge, if so for how long? 30 mins? 3 hours? How many years have you been addicted?

    Search this forum for withdrawal and PAWS stories. There are some threads with a LOT of stories from people with the same symptoms or worse than you have. Some people take longer than a year to recover

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