I need to make some male friends.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Kman20, Jan 12, 2019.

  1. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    I’m really lacking in this department. I need some guy friends to just chat and hang with on the weekends. I think all guys need this occasionally.
     
  2. RollerCoaster

    RollerCoaster Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, i feel the same
     
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  3. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    What do I do ? Where do I go ? Haven’t had a good group of friends in years.
     
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  4. RollerCoaster

    RollerCoaster Fapstronaut

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    I think there is no easy answer to that :/
    As a kid and in school it just happened to me and now it just stopped
     
  5. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    Same it was so easy to make friends while going to school. Well up until the pmo addiction. But back in grade school it just seemed normal for everyone to naturally aggregate to their natural clusters. Now I feel like that isnt possible and causes depression.
     
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  6. RollerCoaster

    RollerCoaster Fapstronaut

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    It is a vicious circle because the more isolated you are it befomes more likely that you dont attract people :/
     
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  7. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    True. I guess we have to start small. I wonder if people can tell by talking to someone if they have a crowd or not.
     
  8. Coolyorky

    Coolyorky Fapstronaut

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    Once I cure my pied I need more female friends:)
     
  9. VeganRights

    VeganRights Fapstronaut

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    Same here, i had very trouble some twenties... am happy my life is improved a lot already, better health, more clarity, losing addictions, feeling more balanced. But still low social life (while my social skills have improved, i noticed that through my job). I hope that this year, i can improve my social life (maybe i just go out alone some times), going to a sport, being busy, maybe trying online dating for vegans :). We gotta keep positive, love ourselves first, and become the person we would love to see
     
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  10. Celibi

    Celibi Fapstronaut

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    Same situation here I need some really friend to rely on. Where are you from guys?
     
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  11. JR-62

    JR-62 Fapstronaut

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    I found my group at Church, they are good guys that are also “trying” to do good. They are no strangers to PMO or the other struggles of life. Just a thought
     
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  12. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    I’m from Boston. Yourself?
     
  13. Newlife33

    Newlife33 Fapstronaut

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    Start doing things you enjoy by yourself. And if you don't know what you enjoy go out and try new things. Meetup.com is a great social tool.

    For me I love soccer. I started having lunch at a soccer bar in my neighborhood and started making friends that way. I also joined a softball team, some therapy groups and other social groups. It was definitely hard to put myself out there but worth it. Once I made one friend my anxiety dropped and it was either to make more.
     
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  14. SavedbyGrace

    SavedbyGrace Fapstronaut

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    WOW you have some impressive freedom! I think as MEN we pride ourselves on NOT needing another man to help us. Unfortunately this leaves us alone and sadly vulnerable and weak. You are right, we all need some male friends!

    I agree with JR. A great place to start is at a healthy church. If you look online at churches around you they will probably list if they have Mens groups. ALPHA is a group of people who have questions and want to learn more about Christ, should not be threatening. There is also a program called Celebrate Recovery that meets at different churches and talks about things like porn addiction and unhealthy dependancies, men with men women with women. For Alpha and CR you don't need to know anything about church and it should be a start to meeting other men. Be brave!

    KA
     
  15. Dimmed_haze

    Dimmed_haze Fapstronaut

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    I had to move because of no solid financial structure and living with a single mother. She wanted to be closer to her family in Germany, I'm from the Netherlands.

    After that I lost all my buddies. Now I live in Germany, don't speak the language well and have crippling anxiety.

    I have the tendency to reminisce about a good old buddy of mine, he joined the army. It leaves a thorn in my chest every time I think of the value of a good conversation.

    Now I am so afraid to even contact him, because I feel like I let him down. Contacting after years of not saying a word is weird, I think.

    I hope one day to return to the Netherlands, my family is toxic. I hate being lonely here.

    I know what you mean.
     
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  16. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    We’re all taking the value of a good conversation for granted. Especially with all the SA going around a good conversation feels rare nowadays. I remember back in the day when i would hang with my friends and we didn’t really have any specific plans we just wanted to hang and enjoy each others company. Smart phones have destroyed this aspect and made us less social and thus less human.
     
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  17. Celibi

    Celibi Fapstronaut

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    Well, I live in Romania Europe.
     
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  18. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    Darn that's far. Don't mind chatting through messages on here though if you want. We're all in this nofap thing together, why not bond through it?
     
  19. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    You are right, Kman. Dennis Prager always talked about this. I just moved to a new town. I've met some ok people, but on the whole, only get to talk to my lifelong friends once or twice a month, if that. I'm extremely isolated.

    Sometimes it is bad, but what I've realized is that it is what I make it, no more or less.

    In other words, if I want friends, I have to go out and befriend people.

    Common interests are usually the strongest roots of that tree.
     
  20. LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

    LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Fapstronaut

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    Roller, I think there is some truth to that. The reason that happens is because an isolated person, like me, gets narcisstic, needy, lonely, and when they encounter someone, are desperate to unload a ton of information on them.

    So I guess a person has to fake some indifference around other people, be cool, use few words, and be independent.

    It seems to work for others.

    Take my advice at all times with a grain of salt.

    I'm an idiot most of the time.
     

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