I need some help. Hear me out.

Consuming porn can also be just simply looking right? No masturbation? Like for example even if I was on a normal non-sexual talk/appearance or non-nude Skype video Session (just a simple chat between two buddies) with a friend however, he instantly gives me an arousal for a while, but what if I don't act on it or dwell on it? Is this still considered a relapse? Or just treading on dangerous water as long as I have the willpower to not act on masturbation afterwards or during the session? Or even fantasize afterwards?

I don't know how I should feel about giving up a simple Skype friendship if he arouses me. But if I don't act on it and don't dwell on masturbating afterwards, it shouldn't count as a relapse?

I truly and deeply apologize. I know that I need to avoid porn and masturbate. I know that you're only trying to help me and the rule is simple. I'm trying to really see where I'm at here. I want to fix my life up and avoid the computer. I'm looking into driving, schooling, etc. I see a psychotherapist weekly and this is one of the issues I've brought up.

I just don't want to be a slave to this addiction. It's even more heartbreaking, if I have to give up a friendship. It's not like we Skype every day either. It's once or twice a month, if at all.

This flatline is helping me not become hyperaroused because of no libido. Thus, I keep Facebook and don't seek and search. I'm able to do that well enough...for now.

It's not someone I know in real life but it's perhaps someone I may know in real life at some point. They do not live too far from me. Far enough where I would need to drive on my own. i don't drive right now. The sexual interest isn't shared with him, I believe. But I could be wrong, because he does compliment me. He has a boyfriend now. He liked me at one point. He did invite me to be with him and friends at a game night one night as friends, however. I don't plan on rewiring with this person, unless out of some very unfortunate circumstance he breaks up with his boyfriend.

I want to try and get over my sexual feelings for him at this time during the reboot. He does message me sometimes and even that can get me aroused at times. I don't act on it after though. It just arouses me, makes me have a small semi-erection for a while with pre-cum, and then it seems to be able to go away. I don't know if it's that even possible for me to get over him? Unless I start being more pro-active in my own personal life? Will that help subside most of the feelings? The feelings have started to subside, I think. They do seem to be kind of still there in a miniscule fashion.

He even knows about my porn-induced erectile dysfunction issue, that's how much I trust him.

I haven't told him he arouses me and that it may affect our friendship and I really don't know how to handle this. I like the guy a little too much, but we also are friends and I don't know how to handle this kind of thing. If I can somehow manage to get through this, I'm home free for a reboot.

This is really difficult for me because I really don't want to have to sacrifice a friendship over a reboot which can take who knows how long. It also doesn't help that I don't have any gay friends and he's one I would consider one.

Is having an arousing semi-erection with pre-cum for an hour without acting on it or even a rare few times if someone messages me on say Facebook really a violation and complete relapse of the reboot process while even just talking to someone who doesn't strip nude? We rarely chat on Skype.

I know that you're only trying to help, so I expect not to like what you may respond with. And I respect that. But this is just arousal...with a screen. So it could be considered porn. Hmm. Would it just slow down the reboot or would it really be a complete relapse?

 

It's the thought of him and the visual stimulus. My mind doesn't wander.

I try Facebook and just a simple message he sends can arouse me. It wasn't like this before at one point. We have tried Audio only and I was still aroused. No differences at all.

I don't know what the fuck to do. I feel utterly hopeless here. :-(

I don't even masturbate to him! It's just being aroused. Is being aroused to a screen really a relapse?

Fuck this PIED shit.

 

I wonder if I should go to Noah Church with this one?

 

Thanks guys. I appreciate the help. My only issue is that I'm getting aroused through a screen. But I'm not actively masturbating through the Skypes.

Have you guys successfully rebooted at all from PIED/Flatline? I'm curious for my own insight.

 

I wonder if meditation would help my mind differentiate?

 

Have you had PIED/flatline? I forget. Sorry. Did you recover at all, if so?

 

That's what I'm saying. How can anyone do hard mode if they keep Facebook, but if someone messages them and they get aroused, how the fuck is that a complete relapse to day 1?

I understand if one wants to remove Facebook, but I don't want to. I don't even seek and search on there thanks to my flatline. I have attractive friends on there but if one messages me and I get aroused, I have to start over? Sounds stupid to me. We live in a society where technology is almost required.

Someone on RebootNation is telling me it's a relapse so I'm understanding of it, but like it's also heartbreaking give up a friendship for something who knows how long will take to heal.

What if I want to make a meeting for coffee with a friend and he messages me? And I get aroused? Relapse? Some of this is kind of dumb, but again it's understandable. We live in a society where texting is almost required. You want me to make ugly friends? Lmfao.

If I'm aroused for an hour or so = relapse? I dunno man. Maybe slow down the reboot but hmm. I could be wrong.

 

Can I recover from PIED/flatline if I am mostly consistent in avoiding porn completely, avoid seeking and search dating websites, focus in other areas of my life for a while and not go 100% hard mode by Skyping with a clothed friend as friends every once in a blue moon and I get aroused for an hour with a semi-erection or so yet don't act on the urges afterwards? Maybe even take cold showers afterwards just in case? Like if I put more focus on school more, learning on driving, work, meditation, exercise, reducing stress, etc., yet still have these sessions that arouse me every so often that aren't always consistent? And even if they are, can I still recover?

With all due respect, I don't like the complete approach of going hard mode for my situation. Yes, this makes sense to do to get rid of this. I get it completely. But some people at RebootNation seem way too harsh and not sympathetic or empathetic to one's life situation. Every person is different. This is the closest to hard mode I can get right now in my life. I'm not ready emotionally to give up a friendship (and a possible rewiring partner) for a reboot that'll take who knows how long you know? What do I say to this person? "Sorry, we can't be friends because you arouse me if you text me or Skype, and my penis doesn't work so for that reason we have to stop being friends or talking so I can improve erectile health." Some people are thinking this black and white to a point where it sickens me.

YBOP doesn't really believe in a relapse so i dunno. I'm confused. RebootNation seems to have different definitions of relapses for each person who is here. I'm confused. Too much focus on day 1 and all that shit (unless it's consistently sex in your mind)

I can't see how any reboot can be perfect. I really can't. I can't give up the internet completely to get better, in this day and aqe. I need it. What if I had an online class for college and decided to go back? I can try practicing avoiding the urges though. The flatline is extremely helpful in helping me avoid urges.

This is the closest to "binging" I would get.

Is this honestly really that harmful to my reboot? I'm willing to take real positive steps to recover, as my real personal life sucks. This a little setback that I'm so worried about and emotionally hurt over, it's giving me mood things.

I'm diagnosed as bipolar, I see a therapist every week (who doesn't understand this addiction), I take meds, I see a psychiatrist. My life isn't where I want it to be right now and porn was my coping mechanism.

The reason I'm getting all up in arms? RebootNation is focused on hard mode and they're not sympathetic or empathetic to my situation. At all. And it really hurts...

 

I don't know what to do or how to handle this situation. How is it "tough love"?

I wish this person didn't arouse me. It sucks ass.

I'm going to end up dead because I don't know how to handle this situation.

 

I thought arousal alone isn't a relapse? Or texting can be a relapse with arousal?

I'm so confused on what the hell really is a relapse.

 

He triggers in me arousal and that's something I wish he didn't do or I can get over. I don't know why that is?

I can give up the porn no problem. The dating websites, no problem. This is a little more tricky because this is more personal and he could be a rewiring partner if things worked out well. But at this point, no.

I don't know why I'm so hypersexual though. I wish I could try lessening my sexual thoughts or sexual arousal. Bipolar disorder?

I was thinking of learning how to drive so I can go see him one day as he invited me to a game night with friends.

This is a tough situation for me. But I can do it!