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I need opinions from PAs, PLEASE

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Krismiss8201, Aug 15, 2018.

  1. Krismiss8201

    Krismiss8201 Fapstronaut

    12
    22
    3
    SO, to be short my fiance did a supposed reboot starting march 23 of this year. To him he said he gave me a full disclosure which im not so sure was even a FULL disclosure. I downloaded web watcher for his phone which was pretty ppintless bc an addict will figure out a way around anything. He says he hasnt even masturbated except a few times that i exclusively knew about and its been a good 4 months since that. Its really hard for me bc all im getting is words and no actions. Hes proud of his "clean time" but to me its all the same words he told me time and time again. He had a sponsor, doesnt talk to him anymore, and he knows how a recovery process works bc hes also in recovery for drugs and alochol and works at a treatment center. Heres my question. I almost ALWAYS have an intuition when hes relapsed bc the pattern is the same, he starts talking about random fantasies he supposedly dreamt about and wants to do with me, then we have sex and he has ED BAD.... its always a hit on my self confidence but lately its been bad bc hes making excuses like he always does, like for instance, he says medication does it. Which dont get me wrong, i KNOW when its mesication and i know that when im riding him like a porn star and hes not getting shit out of it, its really annoying. Hes getting mad at me bc im expected to trust him, and im getting mad at him for not seeingthe actions to back up his recovery, and all the while hes had like 3 instances just this week that we had to stop having sex bc no matter what i did it wasnt keeping him hard nor could he ejaculate. I dont know what to do. Ive asked him if hes relapsed and he wouldnt tell me if he did anyways bc hes too worried about hurting me even thoigh its not the action itself, i expect relapses, its the lying when i know he has, its the sneakiness, and decpetiveness. If hes exclusivley been having sex with me, no masturbation, nor porn, why is he still having these issues? Hes also been going in bathroom SO much more frequently and his sex drive has been high. Just need advice i guess.
     
  2. Krismiss8201

    Krismiss8201 Fapstronaut

    12
    22
    3
    SO, to be short my fiance did a supposed reboot starting march 23 of this year. To him he said he gave me a full disclosure which im not so sure was even a FULL disclosure. I downloaded web watcher for his phone which was pretty ppintless bc an addict will figure out a way around anything. He says he hasnt even masturbated except a few times that i exclusively knew about and its been a good 4 months since that. Its really hard for me bc all im getting is words and no actions. Hes proud of his "clean time" but to me its all the same words he told me time and time again. He had a sponsor, doesnt talk to him anymore, and he knows how a recovery process works bc hes also in recovery for drugs and alochol and works at a treatment center. Heres my question. I almost ALWAYS have an intuition when hes relapsed bc the pattern is the same, he starts talking about random fantasies he supposedly dreamt about and wants to do with me, then we have sex and he has ED BAD.... its always a hit on my self confidence but lately its been bad bc hes making excuses like he always does, like for instance, he says medication does it. Which dont get me wrong, i KNOW when its mesication and i know that when im riding him like a porn star and hes not getting shit out of it, its really annoying. Hes getting mad at me bc im expected to trust him, and im getting mad at him for not seeingthe actions to back up his recovery, and all the while hes had like 3 instances just this week that we had to stop having sex bc no matter what i did it wasnt keeping him hard nor could he ejaculate. I dont know what to do. Ive asked him if hes relapsed and he wouldnt tell me if he did anyways bc hes too worried about hurting me even thoigh its not the action itself, i expect relapses, its the lying when i know he has, its the sneakiness, and decpetiveness. If hes exclusivley been having sex with me, no masturbation, nor porn, why is he still having these issues? Hes also been going in bathroom SO much more frequently and his sex drive has been high. Just need advice i guess.
     
  3. Krismiss8201

    Krismiss8201 Fapstronaut

    12
    22
    3
    SO, to be short my fiance did a supposed reboot starting march 23 of this year. To him he said he gave me a full disclosure which im not so sure was even a FULL disclosure. I downloaded web watcher for his phone which was pretty ppintless bc an addict will figure out a way around anything. He says he hasnt even masturbated except a few times that i exclusively knew about and its been a good 4 months since that. Its really hard for me bc all im getting is words and no actions. Hes proud of his "clean time" but to me its all the same words he told me time and time again. He had a sponsor, doesnt talk to him anymore, and he knows how a recovery process works bc hes also in recovery for drugs and alochol and works at a treatment center. Heres my question. I almost ALWAYS have an intuition when hes relapsed bc the pattern is the same, he starts talking about random fantasies he supposedly dreamt about and wants to do with me, then we have sex and he has ED BAD.... its always a hit on my self confidence but lately its been bad bc hes making excuses like he always does, like for instance, he says medication does it. Which dont get me wrong, i KNOW when its mesication and i know that when im riding him like a porn star and hes not getting shit out of it, its really annoying. Hes getting mad at me bc im expected to trust him, and im getting mad at him for not seeingthe actions to back up his recovery, and all the while hes had like 3 instances just this week that we had to stop having sex bc no matter what i did it wasnt keeping him hard nor could he ejaculate. I dont know what to do. Ive asked him if hes relapsed and he wouldnt tell me if he did anyways bc hes too worried about hurting me even thoigh its not the action itself, i expect relapses, its the lying when i know he has, its the sneakiness, and decpetiveness. If hes exclusivley been having sex with me, no masturbation, nor porn, why is he still having these issues? Hes also been going in bathroom SO much more frequently and his sex drive has been high. Just need advice i guess.
     
  4. Either you’re crazy and over analyzing or he’s lying. Or he’s in a flatline. Can’t really tell.

    In all honestly though it seems kinda supiscious. He’s probably been relapsing.

    This shit is tough I don’t see how spouses deal with this shit.

    If he won’t stop himself he’ll literally go on forever. There’s nothing much you can do.

    That’s why it must be real hard for you.

    Try to talk to him about it. Don’t be too accusing but don’t be passive either. Based on what you wrote here though he will probably lie.

    I honestly have no real useful advice or help for you but just wanted to give some words of encouragement that even though you’re not the PA him/herself, people still recognize your struggle.
     

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