I miss the light

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by SyrusDrake, Feb 19, 2017.

  1. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    This is interesting but even after reading it several times, I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do with this information.
     
  2. m_brando

    m_brando Guest

    Ah, I'm just saying it's a bummer and time will heal.
     
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  3. Tony The Explorer

    Tony The Explorer Fapstronaut

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    Or maybe you don´t like going out because it makes you feel insecure? sometimes we can´t let go of certain things and that is all right. It´s just that, even though I don´t know you personally I get the feeling that you are still heartbroken and can´t let go of your friend, so you succumb to a world of fantasy where everything is kind of ok. But reality is unfair and harsh. so to become someone with selfrespect going out and getting active is one of the most important things for becoming a man.
    Ok, maybe what I am saying is total bull and you are already very confident. In general I think you should ask yourself: Do I want to be lonely or do I want to become somebody people acknowledge as a person? Somebody, who has leading qualities and can later on take responsibilities. Somebody, women will feel safe with because he has a strong aura and doesn´t keep out of trouble.
    I think that you are running a risk of alienating your self from the real world. But if I am wrong, please correct me.
     
  4. AuroraBorealis

    AuroraBorealis Fapstronaut

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    @SyrusDrake
    Hi! ... like you I am also 21 years of age and I too share similar experience with you regarding of being rejected again and again... but no matter how difficult it maybe just shrug it off of your shoulders and move Forward like a tank. Since there are PLENTY of fish in the ocean.

    I got my heart broken (first love/crush) and she is now in an internship in Switzerland with Cern.
    It was devastating for me but after half a year I got over it.

    I just try to obstain from masturbating, meditate daily, swim and go to the gym. I suggest you do the same.

    because if we work and invest in ourselves, i bet them chicks would come to us and not the other way around.
    Listen.. if we are good enough and ready for a relationship, it will happen.
    So cheer up and appreciate the other beauties of life (nature/friends/Family/the arts).
    cheers!
     
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  6. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    I don't like going out because what I want to do either doesn't require anything outside my house or because anything to do there I find unpleasant.
    Let me make an example: One of my hobbies is to read. Why should I leave the house for that? Inside, it's warm, it's sheltered, I got my music and so on. I do like photography, especially plane spotting, but that's fairly solitary as well so it makes no odds.
    If I go out to a bar or whatever, I feel uncomfortable because I don't like being around a lot of people and those places are usually just too loud so you can't talk to the people you're interested in and, if you're like me, you can't even think straight.

    Also, I don't think I have problems with leadership or taking responsibility. I used to work at a small department store until recently and was valued there for just those qualities: Always stating my mind, always taking responsibility.
     
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  7. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    @AuroraBorealis
    Internship at CERN sound soooo cooooool! I actually live in Switzerland and always wanted to visit CERN. But I digress...

    I know you mean well but I HATE this saying. All the fish in the ocean don't help me much if I'm a dying camel in the desert. And depending on the kind of fish you are, it's perfectly possible to never meet another fish your entire life. It's the reason why male angler fish literally attach themselves to the first female they find.

    I am doing all that. Haven't fapped in four months, go to the gym twice a week, meditate twice a day and so on...

    Why would it just happen? Any "chicks" out there have at least dozens of other candidates that are better in any way by leaps and bounds. Unless I make a monumental effort, why would any of them even acknowledge me, let alone settle for a second-rate quality product?
     
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  8. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    Good advice. I have worked extensively on myself and become boyfriend material though and still no relationship. Not going to let it get me down though just going to be patient and content with being on my own until I find the right person.
     
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  9. Tony The Explorer

    Tony The Explorer Fapstronaut

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    What is it, that makes you feel uncomfortable around people?
     
  10. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    I'm just an introvert. Having a lot of people around overloads my senses and exhausts me.
     
  11. Tony The Explorer

    Tony The Explorer Fapstronaut

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    It may not be helpful for meeting new people, but do you actually want to have a new relationship?
     
  12. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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  13. Sorry to hear ... Do you think that she is perfect? Stop thinking that ... Worked for me :)

    LED's are great invention(light)
     
  14. AuroraBorealis

    AuroraBorealis Fapstronaut

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    Aha! i live in Austria..okay..well just sayin..i guess it depends on alot of factors.. you know to get a quality kind of babe by your side, like what you have in mind..ähm since you're already doing all of those physical and mental activities why don't you check out ''simple pick up'' or ''project go''. Those are just tutorial videos on how to get chicks.
     
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  15. Lyart

    Lyart Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes, women are like moths.
    Make your own life shine. They will come.

    You feel like working out - go work out.
    You think you should clean your room - do it.

    From there on, things will change. You will get things done. Your life will begin to shine.
    You won't even be able to worry about that one girl anymore. How could you ? You will be busy
    improving yourself and therefore your life.

    All you gotta do is start. Now!!!
     
  16. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, I always found that advice kinda dumb. Yea, sure, improving your life is great advice but don't promise people that women will just come into their lives because that's just not true. Really, why would they?
     
  17. Lyart

    Lyart Fapstronaut

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    Because people are naturally attracted to positivity

    It's true. Have you tried ?
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2017
  18. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    Well, I work out, I meditate, I eat healthily, I take care of my appearance, I study something I enjoy...
    I know people like being around positive people but unless you actively DO something, none of them is just gonna throw themselves at you and beg you to be their partner.
     
  19. Lyart

    Lyart Fapstronaut

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    Why don't you do it then ?

    Go out and approach women!


    In your first post you said you had no light and no little victories. What is it then - you enjoy your study or not ?

    Please don't fuck with us.
    People are really seeking help and advice here - you can get attention from a diary if you needed that.
     
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  20. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    Because I have terrible approach anxiety?

    I am not sure if you are familiar with how it feels to suffer from depression. Like...not "feeling a little down" but actual clinical depression. One of the biggest misunderstanding is that people think you're always sad. You're not. You can enjoy things. Like I enjoy studying. But at the same time, all emotions feel dampened and distant.

    It's like a cold, foggy winter morning. You're not blind. You can still see things but all colors are muted, almost everything around you is silhouetted and blurry. You can walk from one place to another in thick fog but you still constantly wish the bright sun would burn away the fog surrounding you.
     

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