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I made the hard decision to cut all contact with my ex!

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Fappernator, Jan 3, 2016.

  1. Fappernator

    Fappernator Fapstronaut

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    Im feeling really lonely right now...it's the hardest thing i have done!

    She finished with me on Wednesday, since she got back from travelling she's changed, mainly on what she wants from life, she's been confused and told me that she wants to move away from where she is living currently but she really likes me still. We ended on usual terms as friends which i thought was good

    She messaged me on new years eve, wishing me happy new years and i did the same, then no contact until yesterday when she just put "hey hows you? x" which really confused me, she's finished it with me but is still talking to me like before, which is when i realised i cannot be friends with her whilst i still have feelings for her, it just won't work and i will end up getting hurt!

    I rang her up and told her that, i cannot be friends anymore whilst i still have feelings for her and that we can't keep in contact. Well she got off the phone rather quick and well i'm just feeling crap and a deep sense of loneliness.

    Would just carrying on being friends been a better decision? Than feeling like i do now?
     
  2. You answered your own question.
    You can't have feelings and be friends, it never leads to anything good.
    Cut all contact brother unless you truly believe that you should fight it. But in this day and age its better to move on.
    Girls have so many options so., and part of that is guys let them walk over them.

    Just remember you came into this world by yourself.

    Thats it bro.
    Your gonna make it.
     
    Yesodi and Iwillchange like this.
  3. Fappernator

    Fappernator Fapstronaut

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    Yeah true man, she made her decision to end it with us based on her confusion with her life, so yeah if she's not willing to carry it on then i have to just man up and move on as hard as this is for me right now.
     
    Yesodi likes this.
  4. Fappernator

    Fappernator Fapstronaut

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    I've just never felt this feeling before...this was really my first ever serious relationship with a women a truly liked and also first ever break up!

    I feel I've been massively inconsiderate to friends and family members when they've gone through the same as I didn't realise the pain it causes.
     

  5. Were in this together bro, your gonna make it!!
     
    Fappernator likes this.
  6. Hiro 304

    Hiro 304 Fapstronaut

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    Carry on mate, time will heal everything. Soon you'll forget about her since you've cut contacts with. Also, it makes no sense to break up with someone and keep texting, as if nothing happened, that's a lame move partners do when they feel pity about it. However, you're a man, dont need her nor anyone to feel pity about you. Its time to move on and show your independence.
     
    Yesodi likes this.
  7. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    I've been in your position where I was with a girl for 2.5 years but we broke up. We kept in touch and we ended up getting back together which was a bad idea. That ended a few months ago. However, we still keep in touch and remain good friends. I think the key ingredient was enough time to pass before resuming contact so that both of us could move on. But it's not for everyone. It is generally easier to just stop talking to each other, but if in a month or two, you think YOU (not her, YOU) could benefit from remaining friends, approach her about it. But don't do that if you feel obligated to.

    As for the loneliness, that is something you have to work through yourself. You are going to feel uncomfortable without her to help you. It's important that you learn to get through uncomfortable feelings (including working on this NoFap streak) without her.

    Best of luck
     
  8. Yeah i remember my first one, i was about 17, took me like 4 years to get over it. 26 now and a lot stronger but still need to hustle.
    If you need someone to talk to just message me man.

    Best of Luck!
     
  9. Fappernator

    Fappernator Fapstronaut

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    Cheers guys yeah I'm staying strong!...she messaged me twice again yesterday but I kept to the no contact.

    I'm just under the impression she's confused with her feeling and emotions towards me as well as her life situation right now.
     
  10. You' re a busy guy, and have control of your life, if she chose not to be in it and on the fence. Thats her problem, it will all work out man, no worries. Everyone goes through this, just a way of life just think about all the awesome things your gonna do, achieve!
    We gotta push each other and support each others brothers.
    Were all gonna make it..
     
    Yesodi and Fappernator like this.
  11. jatar

    jatar Fapstronaut

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    That should tell you that you made the right decision. You told her that you don't want to keep in touch with her because of your feelings, but she keeps messaging you. She clearly does not respect your decision, but instead wants to keep playing games. You can choose to play along with her and risk more pain, or ignore her and get on with your life. Since she's not clear with you about what she wants, I'd say that ignoring her and moving on is probably the best decision.
     
  12. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    My GF left me due my Incredible wiredness caused by Pmo. Life has never been the Same again. I loved her too much. I try forgeting her but the more I try, The more it gets difficult.

    I used pmo to mask my things that went bad in my life. Since I quitted, I have to face reality.
     
    alpha_60, Iwillchange and Hiro 304 like this.
  13. Iwillchange

    Iwillchange Fapstronaut

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    you made the right decision, keep going brother
     
    programer likes this.
  14. Iwillchange

    Iwillchange Fapstronaut

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    As other members said, I think no contact is also a better option. You can always talk to each other again later.

    I have still yet to become friends again with my ex now, but mainly because I am too busy with other stuff to catch up or reconnect, and that's life sometimes. Going through some problems on my own, maybe it will help to think that now you have more freedom, opportunity to start again, and more time as well. Love is selfish sometimes, if we love someone, and he or she wants to leave, we gotta respect that decision. If you made your decision, be a man.
     
  15. abiwrites

    abiwrites Fapstronaut

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    I would say dump her and go out and meet new girls in the bar, shopping malls, or wherever you feel comfortable meeting and connecting them. :)
     

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