I lost my girl and I wanna die

What did you enjoy doing as a child or as a teenager? Did you have dreams back then? What was it that kept you going to the point where you are right now?

I can also recommend you the book "Shadows Before Dawn: Finding the Light of Self-Love Through Your Darkest Times" by Teal Swan. She has some radically esoteric views, but that doesn't change anything about the usefulness of the practical and totally down-to-earth 'tools', exercises that will make you love yourself more and become more independent. If you couldn't answer the above questions, you can also fill your time using the exercises that Teal describes.

To be complete, you don't need your girlfriend. You just need to be one with yourself.

 

It's ok to feel shitty and its ok to stay down for a bit. But if after a week or two you feel the same way OR if you have suicidal thoughts OR if you have thoughts about harming yourself call that suicide hotline number I gave you. Seek out a therapist. A lot of us are giving you support and attention, but it's important that you try to make some steps in the right direction if time doesn't make the wounds lesser.

 

Hey andarf. There are many ways to go through it. I was in similar situation (I was meeting with one girl since november 2014 till june 2015) she didn't love me but we were meeting...

Try to travel, try to change the place where are you living. It helps. After that I started to travel (I took a part in Erasmus exchange for one semester) and after half year I stopped to be in love with her. Time cures everything.

Another tip is try to write diary. Write how you feel right now - it helps. After writing you can analise your feelings because your pain will be smaller.

The other adventage of writing diary is, when you write your activities there you can notice what gives you pleasure and what is not giving you anything -> you will be more conscious about what is going on with you and you can eliminate unhealthy patterns easier.

Just try to do some activities with people - sport for example, boxing, running, dancing, whatever you like. Even If you don't have money probably in your city there are some places to dance for free (for example folk dance). This is also good to find other people (also girls, but yes, I know, that you're not thinking about other girls right now - give yourself a time).

Movement / change is a human nature so try not to sit all the time in your home. I know it is easier to say than done but you can write in your diary how you felt sitting at home doing nothing and how did you feel after 30 minutes of walking around your home or in the citycenter or wherever you want.

About the books which can help you (I was in hard state of mind for one year including suicide thoughts and I was a one step before doing it)


Brilliant Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: How to Use CBT to Improve Your Mind and Your Life (Brilliant Lifeskills)
and
Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by Padesky and Greenberger.

Also an advice from me: don't try to forget about her in alcohol, it doesn't work

Well, coping from other sities changed my size of font. Sorry for this, dunno how to change, I am new :<.

Edit: If in 3-4 weeks the situation don't change just search for good psychotherapist, psychotherapy is not a shame, in my opinion it is one of the steps to self-improvement, during therapy you will start to recognise mechanisms of your behaviour and correct it. Hope you will feel better!

 

Suicide isn't the answer buddy. Listen, I know you loved this girl and all, but there are multiple women in the world. All you have to do is go out and find one

 

Month ago I had the same feelings since I lost my gf too. She went back to Italy. First couple of weeks are the hardest after that you will get over it. Just stay away from PMO. What helped me was journaling.

 

Man up. Have some self-confidence and just get over your misery. The world didn't end just because you lost your girl. Now i get that you need time to get over her or something, but at least a few months. After that instead of going out and finding a girl, you first need some professional help, or group therapy. You have lost the confidence and swagger that you previoulsy had, I would know cause i have felt the same numerous times, but what i realized is that life goes on.

 

It's good that you're expressing the shitty feelings you have inside of you to others. It's much better than bottling it up inside and exploding.

The fact is is that you were not important enough to your girlfriend to commit her life to being with you, regardless of how much she meant to you. In the end, it takes two to tango.

There were probably things about you that she didn't like or she felt you lacked that she felt was important to her, but in the end she could not accept you for you. It could have been also due to the lack of emotional connection between you too, basically feeling safe enough to tell each other honestly what you are both thinking and feeling.

It could be a number of things.
Either way, it was a good thing that she broke up with you earlier than later, since imo it's better to be younger when you break up than when you start getting wrinkles
There are plenty of fish in the pond

If you are the type of person than can love someone fully then you also deserve someone that can reciprocate that love for just the way you are.

I am just saying these things under the assumption that I don't know you at all.

 

This girl i'm into is into BDSM and i don't know where to start with to learn about the whole BDSM thing, besides porn

 

It's not giving love if you're expecting something in return. We are all guilty of this. I just broke up with my girl a month ago. It hurts like a bitch.

 

Which i don't want to do

 

I don't know what to say, all I want to say is please don't hurt your self anymore. It will not get you anything but more heartache and sorrow. Please try to improve yourself. We are not perfect. We can all improve our selves more.

 

I've experienced a heartbreak before.
I would cry for nights. Don't care about what others say about manliness and that BS. Just express your emotions, cry to your heart's content if you have to. After you cry, you still have to live life.

 

Heh, honestly, I think you got off pretty easy. I had it much much worse than you. You had a gf for 3 months. I had one for 3 years and the way it ended it could have been the happiest story but it was not really to be. Its happened recently and I still feel like shit. I went into the worst downward spiral you can imagine and had to pick myself up. I had the same thought as you. I doubted my ability to find anyone who would love me for me and who would b my ideal physical and personality type. It really really hurt but I was only doing it to myself.

At least some people here could cry. My emotions feel so dead I just have a heavy head and a fried mind where I feel like I'm operating like a zombie. I'm doing this to fix myself and my emotions. Its taken me ages to get to nofap properly and I'm determined on keeping course. This time I'm going to stay on nofap and stay with it till the bitter end for the rest of my life.

Realise you are only being miserable to yourself and not picking up any responsibility. You can either choose to be the cause of your life or the effect of it. I'm not always enthusiastic and happy and beleive me, my partner who I loved and cherished and care for more than anybody or anything else right now is no more. There are people who have it far worse than you. Treat yourself will, stop talking shit to yourself and you will be fine honestly.

I get the pain, but real pain is staying in the same place forever. Im confident that I will find someone who will love me and accept me. I know I will.

Trust yourself to know that it will be alright. Your thoughts have more power than you realise.

 

Thats very tough and i have the same experience like you but you will find a new love if you show up.Search ars amorata on youtube, it will help you a lot to be a better man

 

If you could see all the truth you would realise that you are capable of creating a much better situation. I have known many people who have done it after they thought what the OP has thought.

Its about having confidence and the ability in yourself.

 

I'm just going to state my point of view and try to minimize the damage for you.

You're not alone, there are countless broken relationships out there and many can relate to understand your current feelings. I know it sucks to be in pain for someone you loved for years and when trying to heal the wound, you casually remember the greatest days you've shared with your beloved one making you feel even more depressed. It's all part of the process, and believe me if you will 'No one can make you happy but yourself'.
I don't want to sound like a hypocrite because the truth is i've never been in a relationship, i've accepted life years ago because of my loneliness and so i'm mentaly prepared to face eventual consequences. By saying this, it is up to everybody to face life as it comes.. And we are capable of letting things go.

Hope i didn't sound to harsh.

 

Bro I am right there with you. I was with my chick for a year and a half. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. After she said she didnt love me anymore I went to north hollywood, drank my face off and took a really powerful hit of acid. It was an intense night followed by the most crushing, depressing day I've ever had. It was pretty fucked up..But! There is hope of course! You need to cry and cry and cry, then cry some more. Look at every picture, listen to every song you guys liked, go through everything and cry it out. You will notice you start to feel lighter and lighter. It's never easy and maybe the pain will never go away but you must face it head on! It's not pretty, but in order to deal with it in a healthy way you need to cry and grieve out all that toxic shit in your mind. Otherwise it's going to turn into cancer or something.

Good luck dudeman!