I kinda miss my ex....

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Shiddy, Jun 20, 2019.

  1. Shiddy

    Shiddy New Fapstronaut

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    I’m 19, and I really miss being with my ex, we have been broken up for about a year now but we kept in touch, and she occasionally still texts me, she got back together with her ex a while after we broke up, she ended up moving in with her ex that is a few years older than she is. Recently me and her ended up texting again and we began to catch up and she told me that while she and her ex were together he ended up cheating on her twice so she pretty much said she is done with him, but she still lives with him because she really has nowhere else to go because of personal issues, and She has no car but her ex lets her use his still. Her and her ex are still “cool” she just says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with him because he cheated. Basically she wants to try to just “friends” with me again for now because she isn’t ready to be in another relationship right now, but she thinks we could get back together when she is ready again.
    The fact that she still lives with her ex that she was in love with once upon a time makes me somewhat insecure about getting into any type of relationship with her. I also already have trust issues when it comes to females and relationships from my past experiences, so I catch myself someone lurking on her twitter to try to figure out what her real intentions are with me. But She is a pretty trust worthy person but idk I find it hard to trust anybody nowadays. Also Idk how long I could be just “friends” with her because I really like her more than in just a friendly way, i somewhat feel like I should just keep my distance and move on from her because she lives with her ex, but that would be really hard for me to do because I do have a lot of love for this girl but maybe that’s what’s best.
    Any advice as to what I should do?
    — Sorry if none of this made any sense I kinda typed it out fast.
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2019
  2. Intemperance

    Intemperance New Fapstronaut

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    Just depends. Do you want to be someone’s safety net or their first choice? Go find someone that picks you back that’s not living with their ex. When you have self respect for yourself other people have no choice but to give it to you as well.
     
    Dakshinamurti likes this.
  3. Shiddy

    Shiddy New Fapstronaut

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    I really have a lot of love for this girl, but at the same time it is kinda mentally toxic dealing with her... do you think I should block her number and stop replying when she randomly texts me?
     
    Capt. U and Dakshinamurti like this.
  4. Tiger uppercut!

    Tiger uppercut! Moderator Assistant
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  5. Dakshinamurti

    Dakshinamurti Fapstronaut

    Yes. Yes I do. If she's living with the guy she was with before you, reckons she has nowhere to go etc... Well that's bullshit, it really is... Everybody has the opportunity to change their circumstances and when I broke up with my last girlfriend, I was freakin' OUT of there within the week. I worked on a farm (work exchange/WWOOFING - working in exchange for board and food,) and after that camped out til I found a place to live.

    From what limited info you've given there, it seems that she bounces back to the last revision of her relationships... Version rollback or something... She dated you, that didn't work, got back with her ex, that tanked, is now contacting you again. That and toying you along with the 'I'm not ready for a relationship but we could get back together reeks of a need for validation. Despite that I don't know you, I can state with confidence that you can do better and getting back with her will result in you being in a world of shit, very quickly.

    Welcome to the forum by the way, my apologies that our first interaction isn't more positive. Great to see you're 4 days in already.

    FWIW I had the same thought earlier today, then I realised that I don't miss her, at all, she's actually crazy, God love her... but yeah. Crazy. Emotionally abusive and emotionally unfaithful. She needed to be getting attention and love from somewhere and when we fought (regularly,) she'd go elsewhere for it. We were both involved in a cult/new religious movement but that's another story. Basically she'd come home smelling like the leaders' perfume and yeah. She was probably fucking him but I'll never know for sure.

    Either way... Naaaah don't do it. Mentally toxic is correct.
     
  6. MonkMode [1Cor7:31]

    MonkMode [1Cor7:31] Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, if I were you,
    just focus on becoming more physically fit, making more money, challenging yourself, traveling, and having new experiences.

    At 19, you have a lot of opportunities, and exploring to do. When you get to mid-twenties maybe start worrying about getting a life partner.
     
  7. BCFirestar

    BCFirestar New Fapstronaut

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    This may sounds strange, but you'll always have feelings for the special ones in your life that you've lost. I had a girl for the past year and we broke it off because she was ace and I'm not. It's been hard and we still keep in touch, but I have to remember that I'm happier now then I was before. There was a reason you guys broke up and as time goes on you just remember the happy times. There were bad times to and it hurts to bring them up, but at the ripe age of 19 I'm sure that you are both changing and maturing which could lead to another chance in the future or something even better.
     
    Capt. U likes this.

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