I just relapsed. Is 90 days even possible. I am 17 am I doing the right thing?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Sep 6, 2018.

  1. I am so tired of this sh*t. I just went on a 18 day streak (which is the furthest I have ever gotten) and I relapsed out of the blue. All of a sudden I just was like I am doing this. I ran to my room and bam M and then O. I think that it is good I didn't use P but I was tempted.

    Now that I have O I feel so much energy leaving my body. It was in their ready to explode. It can't be natural to keep it in?

    I also know that because I started when my brain was developing it will be harder to deal with down the road if I want to change. So I feel like that fact should be motivation enough to get things done. But it isn't keeping me from stopping PMO.

    I just want to cry. Please help
    Contentful T and Deleted Account like this.
  2. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    Hey, 18 days are great. Just think, if you did nothing more than 15-18 day streaks, your MO or PMO would reduce to only a couple times a month. But even better news, the more 18+ days you can achieve, then more chances you will have for longer streaks of success. And, it is also especially good that you did not employ P last relapse. All this is real progress. What would you say is the most important reason or reasons you want to be PMO free?
  3. It's okay mate, we all fail sometimes & thats how we learn.. Relax, read "Your Brain On Porn" by Gary Wilson, he explains the science of any addiction.. Also after the brain fog leaves, analyse what triggered you, avoid it in the future, enjoy your senior year with study going along the way as well, have a hobby which you're passionate about, cheers & good luck! Congrats on 18 days though & the fact that you didnt watch P is commendable !!
    Contentful T likes this.
  4. First, thank you. I really needed that. Unfortunately I just went on a small binge with P. But I am ready to start a new Streak. The main reason I want to stop is because I miss the motivation and feeling I had before PMO. I felt more alive.
  5. Thanks man I needed that. Where can I find the book?
  6. Google, cheers & no worries!
  7. SensualLettuce

    SensualLettuce Fapstronaut

    You can do it man. 18 days and making this post is a testament of your self discipline and the work you're putting in. Keep on drawing energy from why you're motivated and in my opinion, act on that discipline than willpower because their is only so far you can go on willpower alone. From experience holding tight on to my motivations created further and further progress and I am confident that you will do it too (Just keep in mind that it's okay to be proud when you do make that progress, but don't be led astray because it can affect focus. Not saying that you are but I think it's a good disclaimer). Keep it up.
    Contentful T and Deleted Account like this.
  8. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    But when did you start M or MO?
  9. First of all, be proud of yourself that you've recognized PMO as a problem and you're tackling it at such a young age. This simply fact alone will place you far ahead of the majority of your male cohort.

    Secondly, please consider the root problems of PMO and ensure that you have a Why to this problem. Simply wanting to abstain from PMO for greater alpha male type benefits is likely not a good enough reasons and could only cause further problems for your relationships with women down the road.

    Being 17, I imagine that significant life style changes are ahead of you, whether that be heading off to University or entering the workforce, one way or another, you're about to depart from the structured environment of being around peers of a certain class size, age level etc... and more freedom is about to come your way. Freedom without boundaries is a recipe for disaster and you'll be bound to fall into many pitfalls that may take years to correct. True freedom comes from operating within values that impose limits on you're behavior so you're behavior yields a maximum outcome to experience peace, joy, love, and respect for yourself and another.

    So develop you're Why. Hopefully this will center around not wanting to objectify and use other people for you're own selfish interests and pleasurable gains, whether that be for money, sex, status, power, etc...

    You figure out how to accomplish that task and the rest will fall into place.

    God bless.
    Contentful T likes this.

  10. Thank you for your advice. I will try to find the why.
    Contentful T likes this.
  11. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

    Of course it is possible.

    Yes it can be natural.

    Modern society often makes it seem as though it is unnatural and not possible. It can be however. I mean how do you feel after you do it compared to before you had the urge. Much better I am assuming. So instead of giving into the urge you just do something else.

    Sometimes we need to nearly kill ourselves to get so sick and tired of losing the energy that we finally just stop doing it and do something else instead of giving into urges.
  12. Igaleksus

    Igaleksus Fapstronaut

    Hello. PM is very strong addiction! In my case I was creating it for ~13 years. In fact it is like a drug, and there is no exaggeration. It is a drug that is accessible and encouraged by modern society. What if we had a button on our elbow that could get a dose of morphine directly into our brain? No one would refuse, no matter what "high moral values" they have. So it's normal, it's human(istic?! 0_o). If we were all strong as Spartans and had an iron will, we wouldn't be humans. So I think we should be understanding ourselves. But this does not mean encouraging our weaknesses! Before I got here and started abstaining, I probably was trying to stop for about a year, or two... I was completely desperate! I thought it will continue forever, and there's no point in trying anymore, because every attempt ended in failure. Actually, I thought I should stop doing this my whole life. But I couldn't, maybe I'm weak-willed personality, it may be force of habit, maybe something else... Well, actually, the essence of this message is that I finally did it! And I really want it to continue. So it's possible. It didn't work out now - it will turn out next time. There are many tools in this forum, explore it.
  13. bobbiebob

    bobbiebob Fapstronaut

    Yes, dude, its possible. I'm 14 yo and I've started m-ing since 5/6 (I rarely m at that age but still, I know how to m), and I started m-ing alot at around 10, then discover porn at 12. And, I'm currently on almost 4 month streak. I know you might think its too early to quit pmo, but no, it isn't. Stop it before getting worse. Pmo doesn't love you, don't fall to the comfort/attachment feeling pmo gives you. I hope you can get out of this hellhole.
    mIRAF and Igaleksus like this.
  14. Igaleksus

    Igaleksus Fapstronaut

    Totally agree.
  15. Hahaidontcare12

    Hahaidontcare12 Fapstronaut

    90 days are possible but not so easy. Be determined
  16. MakeOutHill

    MakeOutHill New Fapstronaut

    I feel you bro. Im 17 as well and feel the same way as you do. Just focus on somthing else. Homework? Chores? Cleaning? Going out for a walk? Be creative. Ever catch yourself with your hand touching yourself, tell yourself no, and quickly change to something else. It will be slow and painful, I get it, but take it easy one day at a time.
  17. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut


    I think that the fact that you didn't use porn is really good.

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