I have MOed flaccid/semi hard for years and I am now suffering the consequences!

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Blackest_Sheep000, Jul 1, 2019.

  1. Blackest_Sheep000

    Blackest_Sheep000 Fapstronaut

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    *LONG POST ALERT*

    I am 26 years old. Masturbated first time when I was 14. Started PMOing when I was 16.

    Somewhere around the time when I was 20-21 years old I developed this habit of fapping quickly when I wasn’t even fully hard. I was living with my parents and wanted to get the act over with as soon as possible so instead of getting fully hard and then leisurely masturbating for 5-10 minutes, I busted out a quick one in 2-3 minutes and was done with it. I was addicted to the nice feeling of cumming and was fapping in this manner like 3-4 times on an average per day.

    Fast forward to present day and I can’t seem to be able to hold a full erection for more than a few seconds. In the rare instance that I can hold a full hard on and fap then I don’t find cumming as pleasurable as I do while fapping & cumming when flaccid/half erect.

    When developing this bad habit of flaccid fapping I never thought it would have any long term effects because I only considered it a time saving efficient method and thought that when the moment comes I would be fine to keep it up and would experience no difference between cumming while fully hard vs cumming while flaccid/half hard. However I was terribly wrong!

    Now this is really worrying me because it seems I am not able to keep it up for too long and don’t find it as pleasurable to cum when fully hard! I know all this might sound crazy but this actually is what I have got myself into! It seems I have involuntarily and subconsciously programmed my mind-body to find masturbation/ejaculation while flaccid/half hard pleasurable and so now I don’t really find cumming when fully hard as enjoyable.

    I have also experienced loss of an inch when fully erect. I remember measuring my dick when I was fully hard back when I was 20 years old (it was 6.5”). I haven’t measured my cock in ages and just last week decided to have a measurement to see if this habit of flaccid ejaculation had any effect on my erections and I was shocked to see I was less than 6” when fully erect.

    This has me panicking now. I have stopped masturbation altogether and deleted/destroyed all porn I had in a fit of rage.

    I know I have massively fucked up for so many years but I want to be able to get my sexual powers back which I had 5-6 years ago! I deeply regret my actions and hate myself for developing this self destructive habit but I want to turn back clock and regain my full size erection and feel nice when I cum fully hard.

    I have stopped all sexual activity (have not done masturbation, porn/imagery and touching/edging in three days now) out of fear I wouldn’t be able to “perform” if tomorrow I was to somehow get a chance to sleep with a nice woman. I will be on joining a local gym next week to lose fat and build muscle, I am also making sure to sleep on time at night and not endlessly browse the web before bed.

    I have been crying to myself since yesterday fearing about this and therefore I decided to log in here after some time now.

    I need an honest answer guys: Do I have any hope of regaining my former sexual self if I stop MOing/PMOing and start living healthy or am I permanently screwed because of some bad choices I have made in life in the last 5-6 years?
     
    Jake n Bake likes this.
  2. Brooklyn Jerry69

    Brooklyn Jerry69 Fapstronaut

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    I'm no doctor, but I'm sure that if you leave your dick alone you'll be fine. Losing a few lbs. Should also help you gain back the ½" on your cock.
    As the used to say to young boys
    " leave it alone,it will grow".
     
    1978 and Zhubei22 like this.
  3. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

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    Sure there is hope. Dropping PMO will not hurt you, what do you have to lose right?
    Read, learn and make a strong plan.
     
    Brooklyn Jerry69 likes this.
  4. Blackest_Sheep000

    Blackest_Sheep000 Fapstronaut

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    I have decided to stay abstinent for at least 365 days. So far I have not seen any considerable improvements (6 days in) but yeah I am noticing some night erections.

    Will one year of nothing sexual be ok for recovery or would I have to see a doctor?
     
  5. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

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    Improvement is good. You can go to a doctor now or give this more time before you do, totally up to you.
     
  6. Blackest_Sheep000

    Blackest_Sheep000 Fapstronaut

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    Update: Although I still cannot get hard without Artificial Stimulation (which I am trying hardest to avoid resorting to). I have noticed stronger morning erections and frequent night ones. I measured my dick when I woke up with a pretty strong boner and I was taken back to see that I was back in the 6” range (although not quite the 6.5” mark that I once had)

    I guess the improvement is slight and it is gonna take a long time to get back to normal.
     
    1978 likes this.
  7. 1978

    1978 Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like you just need to lay off PMO for a while. Give it at least 30 days, but if you can go 60 or even 90 then that would be even better.

    My next bit of advice might be different to what other people would advise, but here goes:

    After whatever time period of abstinence you decide on (30, 60 or 90 days), try masturbating slowly without porn. I did that last year after 30 days, and my penis was really sensitive, got nice and hard, and ejaculated so much and so far that it genuinely shocked me. It's amazing what just 30 days without PMO can do. But you may need longer.
     

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