I have discovered the biggest reasons for premature ejaculation (and super simple fix)

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Deleted Account, Jun 22, 2017.

  1. There are few, but these below are biggest ones. And the most biggest ones are in Bold:

    • Training our bodies to ejaculate quickly by rushing to finish (or reach the edge of orgasm) faster during masturbation cause premature ejaculation (which is what everybody basically does when using porn, so it would not be incorrect to say that porn causes PE)
    • Training our nervous system to get aroused quickly causes premature ejaculation (here it would also not be incorrect to say that porn is a cause because it is unnatural, supernormal stimulus)
    • Ejaculating too often (more than 3 times a week is too often and that's generous, ejaculating 1 time a week or less is even better) cause premature ejaculation
    • Kegel (PC muscle) exercises cause premature ejaculation (because many people are flexing the wrong muscle, what they are actually flexing is BC not PC)
    • Flexing BC muscle during sex to get erection faster cause premature ejaculation
    • Not keeping BC muscle all the time relaxed during sex cause premature ejaculation
    • Anal prostate stimulation cause premature ejaculation

    And then of course there are mental things that cause premature ejaculation (such as performance anxiety) and other physical things (such as brain trauma, genital injury, hormone imbalance and other diseases) that cause premature ejaculation. But the ones mentioned above are the most common causes of premature ejaculation. And the biggest reason of them all is flexing BC muscle during sex/masturbation and not keeping it relaxed.

    How to treat premature ejaculation?

    • Masturbate slowly so you reach edge slowly. It's not just stop and go technique when you reach edge fast and then stop and then go again and reach edge fast. You actually have to train your body to reach edges slowly.
    • Train yourself to get aroused slowly. There are arousal control exercises out there that are designed for this. These exercises usually focus on visualization and mindfulness meditations combined with controlled breathing techniques. It all is designed to slow down your heart rate and relax all of your body's muscles to prevent accumulation of muscular and nervous system tension.
    • Stop ejaculating more than 3 times a week (preferably no more than once a week or less). Preferably don't ejaculate at all while you are healing, go on Hard Mode
    • Stop doing kegel exercises the wrong way. Find the right muscle
    • Stop flexing your BC muscle during sex to get faster erection or to increase the strength of erection
    • Do reverse-kegels to reverse damage that doing normal kagels (if you did them wrong by flexing BC muscle instead of PC muscle) has done to you
    • Learn to use reverse-kegels to stop involuntary "kegels" (BC muscle contractions) during sex that you have programmed your body to do automatically
    • Locate your real PC muscle and do proper kegels
    • Stop (or at the very least drastically decrease the amount) all anal stimulation.
    How to learn difference from PC and BC muscle?

    Many people actually increase their premature ejaculation by doing kegels the wrong way. Because the basic guide for locating the proper muscle to flex is stopping flow of urine. The problem is that BC muscle stops the flow just as PC does. And for most people they naturally use BC muscle to stop urine, they barely ever flex PC muscle. So they mistaken the two.

    Another reason for confusion is that BC muscle is the right muscle to train for women to get stronger orgasm and bladder control (it works for this reason, but for men it also causes PE as a side effect, so it should be only female specific genital exercise, sinse they don't have to worry about PE). It is also used for men with delayed ejaculation (these guys don't have to worry about PE so it works for them). But the guidelines for women are wrongly translated for men and guidelines for people with DE are wrongly used for people with PE. So these are two reasons people often mistake the two.

    Basically BC muscle is under your penis (between anus and testicles). It's the one that stimulates your prostate if you flex it. It contracts during orgasm. It's the one that if flexed tightly during orgasm can cause retrograde ejaculation. It's the one that can speed up orgasm if flexed and held while you are stimulated. It's the wrong one.

    PC muscle is attached to your tail bone. It is located behind your anus. Almost at your lover back. It goes down deep under your pubic bone at the front part of your body too. For exercises of it however we should focus on back. When you flex it it can stop ejaculation but it can not speed up orgasm. It also usually does not contracts (for most people) during orgasm. While flexed during ejaculation with full force it will not cause retrograde ejaculation. If anything it will either stop the orgasm completely or you will have a real dry orgasm without sperm going in bladder. This is the one you wanna train during "kegel" exercises.

    There is a diagram (click if you are not triggered by medical drawings of genital anatomy). This is the BC muscle (the wrong one you want to train yourself to keep relaxed at all times):

    [​IMG]

    This is the real PC muscle; the one you want to train (the other in red below it is the BC muscle):

    [​IMG]

    So how should it feel when flexing it?

    Basically it should feel like you are flexing your not your perineum but your tailbone muscle. The muscle behind your anus almost at your lower back. Your butt cheeks should move a little when you isolate it (but not too much, don't actually flex your glutes) and your BC muscle should be relaxed. While if you would flex your BC muscle your glutes would not move at all.

    That's it guys. I tell you. This is the biggest reason why men have premature ejaculation. They ejaculate too often and mainly they have this BC muscle too flexed all the time (get orgasm faster, get erection faster, get it harder and stupid articles on internet teaching how to do kegels wrong) up to a point it does it automatically during genital stimulation. This reflex needs to eb eliminated by reverse-kegels. And habit should be eliminated too. Then just flex your tail bone muscle instead and you won't have premature ejaculation.

    For all those people who have premature ejaculation and do PC exercises (kegels) and it is not working for PE, you have just been exercising / flexing the wrong muscle! It's really super simple!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2018
  2. YngwieWanksteen

    YngwieWanksteen Fapstronaut

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    I remember reading the idea that premature ejaculation would have been helpful to human survival back in the day. You wouldn't want to be having sex too long, being vulnerable in one place for an animal to kill you in the act.
     
  3. That's one theory. It might be true or it might not be, I don't know.

    I've heard another theory that says that naturally we were always able to choose when to ejaculate and when not to. Kinda the same way we can choose when to let urine out and when to keep it in. Only that we lost that ability because of too frequent ejaculations (which we are not supposed to have in nature; masturbation is unnatural, so as having sex with multiple women every day for long periods of time - porn, Tinder, etc).

    When I was very young I remember masturbating and being able to go for long time and enjoy myself. But I was always able to speed up my orgasm and make it happen withing 20 seconds or so by flexing my BC very hard if I would wanted to. The BC muscle is like a button of ejaculation. The problem is that we during our masturbation and sex are so goal focused that we push that button too often and so condition PE. If BC muscle is like a gas pedal then PC muscle is like a brake pedal. The secret is to learn to control both of those muscles fully, cos right now we have lost that ability.

    PE is not natural thing caused by evolution. Sure, that theory might be true, but personally I think it's bullshit. PE is something we should be able to consciously turn on and off at will. And I think it was always like that until we lost that ability by starting to masturbate and focus on busting a nut instead of having sex like nature intended.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2017
  4. poloGz

    poloGz Fapstronaut

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    Is the second picture missing or am I the only one unable to load it ?
     
  5. Both works for me just fine.
     
  6. TigerJin

    TigerJin Fapstronaut

    Same.
     
  7. I changed the image source, is it better now?
     
  8. M.Nioh

    M.Nioh Fapstronaut

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    how do i know that i have gotten better when i am on the NoFap challenge ?
     
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  9. Carl Stiller

    Carl Stiller New Fapstronaut

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    You can use delay lube to prevent premature ejaculation.
     
  10. M.Nioh

    M.Nioh Fapstronaut

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    what does that mean?
     
  11. abraabra

    abraabra Fapstronaut

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    Can anybody teach me how to flex the tailbone muscle? I know where it is, but I can't seem to flex it as stated above. Is the guy 542766855 says that it is "behind the anus" and so does that mean that the anus sphincter muscles have to be squeezed like trying hold a crap in or what? I hope 542766855 replies to this soon.
     
  12. vajra

    vajra Fapstronaut

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    Premature ejaculation was my problem since the start of sexual life. I had been researching this topic for 4 years. Coming within 1 or 2 minutes was a norm for me. My partner started to avoid any sex with me and we were close to separating. Now I can last as longs as I want (or untill she begs to stop) most of the time.

    So here are the top main tools for overcoming premature ejaculation that I came to myself, which mostly correspond to what 542766855 outlined:

    1. Edging. Regular practice of edging. Aim to do up to 30 mins of edging.

    2. Control your breath. Never hold your breath and keep breathing in a relaxed manner during sex. Try to be aware of your breath from very start of sexual intercourse, even before penetration. To help yourself you can use counting of your breath in and out.

    3. Practice kegels daily about 10 mins. No need to push hard here as it is easy to overtrain PC muscles. They become sore. If it happens so, pause for 3-5 days and then start gradually again.

    4. Practice reverse kegels. As many people write here often we may have developed involuntary muscles contractions around perineum which contributes greatly to premature ejaculation. I noticed that reverse kegels bring awareness to the body during sex and help to relax.

    5. Do any physical exercises that involve perineum area: gym, stretches or, my preferred way, yoga.

    6. Optional but very important, at least for me). I found Indonesian herb solution that significantly delays ejaculation and does not numb my dick like lidocaine based sprays. This was a great help in my learning process as it allowed to condition my mind to get used to longer timeframe of intercourse. After years of quick mustrubation and 2-minute sex my mind and physiology just got used to spending not more than 2 minutes in actual intercourse. So this herb allowed my mind to get used to longer 15 - 30 minutes sex.

    If you need more details contact me. I would be happy to help.
     
  13. jorg78

    jorg78 Fapstronaut

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    Some good advice, but edging are horrible for the dopamine receptors.
     
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  14. vajra

    vajra Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion and from the people I observed edging is one of the main tools which you cannot escape. One can certainly gain some extra minutes from correct breathing and reverse kegels but to get to high proficiency and full control he needs to train his psyche and body the levels of arousal and train himself to go longer. I do not see how one can do a really good progress without edging.

    If you are speaking of dopamine from coming, that is a very good point. I believe that edging MUST be don with NO coming. One should decondition his physical and psychological urge to get a reward at the end of edging or sex.
     
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  15. bold_me

    bold_me Fapstronaut

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    I am having PE along with PIED. But is it actually good to edge? There are numerous articles that say that edging is as harmful as MO which sets you back in rewiring your brain.
     
  16. vajra

    vajra Fapstronaut

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    Edging is not the same as mastrubating. As 542766855 said it is to be done slowly, with awareness. Make sure you do not go beyond 70-80% of arousal. As mentioned before, it would be best to learn to edge without ejaculation.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. jorg78

    jorg78 Fapstronaut

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    I still believe that edging will cause problems to your dopamine receptors, your brain are bathing in dopamine while edging.
     
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  18. mauro00

    mauro00 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey bro, can you say the name of this "Indonesian herb", or where can I get it?
     
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  19. Sprinter123

    Sprinter123 Fapstronaut

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    This is is super useful. Thank you for the in-depth description and guidance. I will try and put it to good use.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  20. Sorry I'm late. Quit the forum for a while. But now I wanna address some questions here...
    You wait until you reboot before starting this. I would not recommend messing with any masturbation or anything sexual during reboot.
    Doesn't fix the problem. Just covers it up. The cost is loss of sensitivity for lesser enjoyment and crap chemicals on your genitals from lube.
    Some parts of anal sphincter muscles might flex naturally as you flex tailbone muscle. But that should not be focus. You should be aiming to flex your lower back, if you will. Urinate and flex until it stops urine flow but does not force urine out like flexing your perineum does.
    Yes, edging is bad for dopomine receptors and certainly will slow down your rebooting progress. This is why I do not recommend to do any of this while rebooting. Make sure you heal your brain first and then work on conditioning it. Like @vajra said, edging is just necessity that's very hard to avoid if you have developed premature ejaculation due to conditioning your brain to orgasm fast by practicing quick masturbation. You need to retrain it. If you can edge during sex with your girlfriend and not with your hand then it is preferable. Because sex releases serotonin, masturbation does not. Serotonin counteracts / limits many negative effects of dopomine.
     
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