That's why you hesitate. That's why you can't do or say anything. You want a guarantee before taking any action. You don't want to take any risks. You don't want to lose so you don't even play. You're obviously inexperienced, incompetent, and insecure with this, but you'll never gain competence, experience, and confidence without taking risks, making mistakes, and repeatedly failing. Even if you're successful in dating this girl, do you really want to be paranoid for the rest of your relationship with her? Walking on eggshells watching your every move and every word? This suffering that you feel right now... do you really want to feel that way for the rest of your life? Failing repeatedly in the short term sucks, but in the long run your life would be better off. Staying as you are (never taking any risks or going outside your comfort zone) will cause you great discomfort in the long run.