I have a problem

hey....im only on day 2 here but I can tell you there are plenty of resources and good advice to be found here. you are going through what a lot of us are. best of luck too you and if you ever need any help let us know.

 

Welcome Vincere. I was where you were for a long time. 18 month ago began to make a serious effort at quitting. Did not, but initially broke the P from the MO, meaning I was still using porn daily but went down to about twice a month MOing.

About 4 months ago I got very serious. I am PMO free now. Here is what worked for me:

1) Get educated. Learn what your problem is. There is a scientific explanation of the chemical brain changes porn cause. Good news, they can be changed back. Watch this vid, take notes, watch it again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_RIm9ZMN1I

2) Get tools to get porn out of your head. Porn blockers, block the sites you go to, use apps to make it impossible to search for porn or the key words to whatever category or fetishes porn has gotten you to.

3) Embrace the pain. Qutting porn means withdrawals. Withdrawals are your dopamine starved brain begging you, threatening you, and punishing you for not giving it its fix, porn. This punishment will be emotional, mental, and physical. If you are serious and quit, one of the big traps you have to avoid is rationalization, or it's OK or I have to PMO because...ABCXYZ. This is where many guys fail, even ones who have tools and education. As I have told many people, for me to quit I had to actually want the withdrawal, had to see it as a stage of recovery I had to endure before getting clean. A lot of guys start out with the best of intentions, but we often forget that "this is going to hurt." You have to expect, embrace, and want that pain (whatever it is for you) to break the PMO cycle. Understand that is just one of the things you have to go through to quit porn. Once my brain's chemical release reward center got its dopamine levels back to normal, I have had days where I was tempted, and days like today where I just have felt frikin great. Again, PMO free for months now. If I can do it, anyone can, I was a full blown PMO addict, every day, often multiple times, for years on end. No more.

Good luck on your journey.

Remember, though it feels like you are giving up something, you are not. You are giving up a chemical reward to fake sexual imagery. When, during withdrawals, your brain tells you you need or deserve porn, remember it is not real.

 

You are welcome Vincere. I think a lot of guys are addicted to PMO and don't even know such a thing is possible. Admitting it to myself was a huge step in fixing it. For me it was not a "problem", it was a lifestyle, it was in my life daily, every day, for years. Once I learned I had to get porn out of my brain and lower my dopamine output (difficult) I was able to quit. By the way, I have only said "I'm quit" recently. By that I mean I quit some time ago but only recently was I brave enough to say I had totally, once and for all, quit porn. I've seen guys who proclaimed "I'm quit" on this forum get clobbered when they relapse, so, if you say it, do it. You don't want members calling you out for your 27th quit. I guess I wanted to keep the possibility of using it again in the back of my head until recently. It's a powerful narcotic, and part of our quest is not only to give it up, but to say we won't ever use it again, and to mean it and do it.

Good luck on your journey.