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I fucked up - one thing leads to another

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by beambitious, May 11, 2019.

  1. beambitious

    beambitious Fapstronaut

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    The other day I relapsed from from hard mode after 65 days. I actually posted here beforehand saying that I was likely to relapse with out P just M and then calmly went ahead and did it telling myself that 65 days had been a long time without even ejaculating and beginning to wonder whether it was even healthy for me to go that long. I also convinced myself that it would help me concentrate on work and personal matters to have a release. I haven't been able to concentrate more in the last few days. I got a little boost in the first 12 hours or so after releasing but then couldn't stop thinking about more M and the lack of days on my counter made it difficult to resist.

    Well that was 3 days a go and I have since gone from M without P --> to M whilst checking out hot girls on Instagram --> to finally relapsing right back to P today. I'll be travelling for business in the next few days and sharing a hotel room with a colleague so my justification was that I would be forced not to M and that by the time I get back home I'll be into a 5 day streak again so will likely be back off it.

    This might be the case (I will make it happen and set a new a objective for myself) ... but the problem is the tricks my mind has played on me to justify my actions.

    65 days was my longest streak yet! I'm pretty impressed with it! But it is a shame I couldn't get to 90 days as planned.

    I'm considering making next goal for a period of time without P and M (allowing O) but I'm concerned that this will then make me go out looking for meaningless sex which isn't really what I want either. Also, if hooking up with women is a possibility as part of my current goal then I'll be thinking about it all the time which will only lead to more urges. This is especially hard if, for example, Tinder-ing - looking at beautiful women on an app all day!

    Ultimately what I realise is that this is a constant exercise in habit improvement.

    If anyone has any tips, hacks or experiences to share ... I'm all ears.
     
    Kratos_GOW likes this.
  2. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

    Yes 65 days is indeed an accomplishment itself. I applaud you for that. But 90 days, it is a shame to be honest. But dont feel bad now boy, there is a simple trick for that urge now.
    Make these your golden rules from now.
    1. No amount of streak/days deserves a relapse as an achievement bonus.
    2. Next time you have an urge, have stored 2 to 3 reboot articles and read them the time you have these urges.
    3. You first need to cleanse your mind of the kind of mindset. Unfollow the models or social media itself. I myself is not on them. Because my focus is clear boy, so should your be.

    I wish you good luck boy.
     
    beambitious likes this.
  3. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    you should look at me relapsing co8ple times a day, so no you didn't fuck up that bad, believe me
     

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