I feel worse now than before I started Nofap. Is Nofap for me?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Kai101, Jul 7, 2018.

  1. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    I started nofap back in December 2017. I remember before I found out about nofap, I'd take a couple days off or skip a day of fapping, and I'd feel amazing. My life WAS amazing before nofap. Even though I was watching porn, I loved life. I had so much motivation. I enjoyed everything, and I loved being around people. Now ever since I started nofap, I've been depressed, antisocial, aggressive, and in a bad mood all the time. My life was so much better before nofap. Is nofap for me? I'm considering just going back to fapping once a week. I was fapping multiple times a day, but I would fap that much regardless of if I was watching porn or just fantasizing. I would have no problem back then going back to fantasizing. It felt better too. I know for a fact I have a very high libido. Part of it is genetic, as my dad and his 5 brothers all have extremely high libido. Back when he was my age he said he used to do it every day, just not to porn. I havent been noticing any of the benefits and feel much much worse than before I started. Any advice?
     
  2. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

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    Let time carry this one. Think back, will pmo make you feel any better?
     
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  3. oneperson

    oneperson Fapstronaut

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    You feel like shit because your brain wants that dopamine kick. With anything that has to do with dopamine it’s hard to kick. Makes you feel like shit way worse than you did before to make you think you need it. But do you? I’ll leave you to answer that for yourself.
     
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  4. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    There had to be a reason you went NoFap. Is that reason any less valid now?

    It does seem odd to feel so lousy 6 months later, though.
     
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  5. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    I
    I came to nofap to stop consuming porn. I don't consider masturbating my issue. In the past I was fine just fapping to my imagination, but then I got hooked on porn. I felt great fapping to fantasy, but as soon as I tapped to porn, I felt lousy, drained, etc.
     
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  6. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    Not everyone has a problem with masturbation. Some have a problem with all PMO like me, but I’ve met people who just need to stop cheating on their wives and PMO is fine, and some who need to stop just the P. It’s a kinda personal journey.

    As for the feelings...for me I used porn to run from those feelings. And so it makes sense that when PMO stops the feelings get stronger until we deal with them. This is my truth and not necessarily yours, but it could be, considering the timeline of events.

    I have cried a lot since I got sober. Nearly every day. I have been suicidal (but also was before nofap), I have panic attacks (which I also had before nofap), but this time I don’t have the PMO to calm me down. And finally 100 days of intense emotional work I’ve lost my depression almost, I’m still fighting the anxiety but it’s getting slowly better. Finally have the courage to apply for jobs, go to the mall alone, talk to strangers, and do some volunteer work. None of this was possible while doing PMO.

    So I would say, your emotional discomfort might stay the same if you don’t work on it, and possibly PMO is your medication. I can’t say for sure, but imagine if your like me, it seems likely.

    Good luck and hit me up any time!!
     
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  7. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man. Will do!
     
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  8. Hermin

    Hermin Fapstronaut

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    How did you manage 180 days without porn and masturbation? Have you just recently become depressed or were you for the whole 6 months?
     
  9. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    I was for the whole six months,especially after the first 2 weeks. My mom and my friends all said I was acting different, and I wasn't myself, but in a negative way.
     
  10. Hermin

    Hermin Fapstronaut

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    Maybe NoFap is just not for you. My female friend has a new boyfriend and he said publicly that he masturbates 3 times a day. He thinks it's healthy, he is looking healthy and happy... so yes, we are all different.
     
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  11. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    Well that's a very good reason to stay away from porn, then. It is a super-normal stimulus - it makes me feel like an electric current is going through my brain when I fap to it. It feels great for a moment, but as you note, it's very draining.
    Interesting. The question occurs to me: @Kai101 can you MO to fantasy, now? Or would you just go back to porn?

    Gary Wilson writes of MO'ing to sensation alone as part of rewiring at YBOP.
     
  12. Phoenix11

    Phoenix11 Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear you're struggling. My initial inclination is to ask if these feelings are due to nofap or due to positive self image/ thoughts/ etc. I know you were saying that it coincided with going nofap, but have you considered going to counselling to check if there are other things behind this? I went nofap for 5 years once. It was the most powerful time of my life. I think the knowledge that I had power over my body's urges, also played a role in that positive, powerful feeling. I was also 100% engage in a very positive endeavour. So sometimes it can be linked to things outside of fapping. I was married for the last 2 years of that, so I had regular sexual contact which helped.
     
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  13. Vandermeer

    Vandermeer Fapstronaut

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    Either try to find a partner or return to moderate masturbation without any porn? Meaning, you allow yourself an intense session of masturbating as long and as often you want and need then, but only once the week.
     
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  14. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    I've been masturbating to fantasy for yhe past 3 days
     
  15. EricKungFooled

    EricKungFooled Fapstronaut

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    Does MO with fantasy make you feel better or help with the depression and motivation? I'm curious because I'm committed to continue hardmode PMO until my reboot but I have no idea how to adjust after that.

    I'm going through similar issues now as I feel my motivation plummet and with my business that can mean my job and the jobs of many of my employees. Even now I am behind in many tasks and risk destroying professional relationships that took years to build.
     
  16. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    My motivation and attitude have skyrocketed man! I think low libido has a lot to do with it. If you aren't getting any action then your libido goes into survival mode, which leads to bad mood, no motivation, etc. I hope this helps. Feel free to message me anytime
     
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  17. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    It's no surprise that you will experience unwanted feelings.
    These are just feelings, just the same as the pleasurable feelings pmo gave you.
    But we, human, are enslaved to pleasure for some reason.
    Whenever we stop to be an addict to pleasure, we give the other feelings a change to come to the surface, so we can experience them.
    What we need to learn is express the feelings we have.
    Feel the depression
    Feel the anxiety
    Feel the anger
    Feel the sadness.
    When you stop pushing down and covering them with feelings of lust and pleasure, you will get your emotional system back in order. That needs some time. But there is no other choice than going through it, if you don't want to stay addict for the rest of your life.
     
  18. Phoenix11

    Phoenix11 Fapstronaut

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    That's very powerful. Thanks Roady. Allowing ourselves to feel whatever we are feeling without judgement, is the key to this. It also improves our EQ, so we can interact better with ourselves and in relationships.
     
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  19. Phoenix11

    Phoenix11 Fapstronaut

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    I'm just beginning to understand what you are saying Roady and how it applies to me. I've been using PMO to escape the pain from these emotions like fear, sadness and anger. The issue becomes that PMO is a short term solution which prevents me from dealing with the problem - the causes of these negative emotions. I'm starting to accept how I feel, and begin to unpack my problems. Wow. Thanks for your insights.
     
  20. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    You got it.:emoji_thumbsup:
     

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