I feel hopeless and alone, don't know what to do, HOCD and anxiety?

Well, to start off I'm 25 years old and my name is Dave I'm currently in a relationship with my girlfriend we have been together for over a year now.

Before I met her I was deep into my porn addiction and my taste got warped into transwoman stuff and occasionally gay porn but primarily transwoman porn. I also had some real encounters with some and I felt so bad and shameful afterwards I always felt dirty and I had to get clean and wash when I was done. I was always seeking that high and someone who could satisfy my need to get off! It's not like I didn't wanna be with a woman it was just so easy to go get transwomen and get my fix even though it always felt wrong and I was very anxious and confused afterwards. One time I even started crying and I really regret what I did.

My problem is that the shit I did before I met my girlfriend still haunts me to this day, it shows up in my dreams and when I wake up I feel like total shit and it can ruin my day completely. It's not that I'm not turned on by my girlfriend we have great sex and I love her very much but the problem is that a lot of times I'm haunted by all these intrusive thoughts and pictures from past experiences and it makes me feel so bad

Is it possible that porn can fuck you up this much? Does anyone else deal with this or have you experienced something similar?

I just wish I could let all this shit go because I regret it so bad and I wish it never happened. I feel like porn has messed me up and warped my mind in a sick and twisted way, I put myself in situations where I would cry and feel like total shit afterwards just to get my fix? That's sick.

Someone, please help me!

 

Thanks a lot, man!! I really hope so.

 

Anyone?