I feel gay

What do you think will happen if you keep ridding yourself of testosterone? At the same time you are looking for novelty to get a same high each time you watch P. The solution: STOP PMO.
You are not gay it's chasing dopamine with lust, replacing testosterone with estrogen therefore probably getting gay thoughts too.

 

You are gay if you want to fall in love with a guy, have a serious relationship and may be even marry him. Otherwise it's HOCD or "bi-curiosity", in case this exists at all without an obsessive-compulsive component.

 

Look even if you are, it says nothing about who you are as a person. It's too soon to freak out about it. One day at a time.

 

Can you explain that @bken? How is he doing that and what evidence is there that 'it turns men gay'?

 

I suffer with HOCD. I've had OCD for most of my life. I've made big improvements with it over the past 7 months. My brain still sometimes tells me that I might be gay and I'm in denial. I'm OK with that and have come to terms with the fact that I could be gay. I know a lot of what I thought before was definitely OCD. I used to obsess constantly about whether other people were gay and whether they thought I was gay. That was definitely OCD and that has all gone away now.

Back to you. These are intrusive thoughts which are almost certainly porn induced given the description you gave. Even straight porn focusses a lot on the man. Everyone gets intrusive thoughts, we get hundreds of them every day and most of them we just ignore. It's theorized that once upon a time they had a survival advantage for us (you get the intrusive thought that there could be a woolly mammoth nearby so you check your surroundings). When we ruminate on the intrusive thoughts endlessly then that's OCD. The rumination leads to a vicious cycle where you then get more thoughts and so more obsessions. It does make you question your sexuality. We then create compulsions to try and deal with the obsessions. It feels really horrible but it is controllable (it's hard work though).

You need to stop watching porn. Read the Four Steps and star applying them every time you get one of those thoughts. At first it's really tough and you feel that you are constantly relabeling thoughts. The OCD tries to trick you but you can't let it beat you.

Four steps: http://hope4ocd.com/foursteps.php

The Four Steps are described in more detail in a book called "Brain Lock" which I'd highly recommend.

I know that this is tough to talk about. One of the biggest helps for me was this community and knowing that I wasn't going through this alone. Most peopl

Good luck!

 

There are a few questions you need to ask yourself. Have you had crushes on girls growing up? Have you always been attracted to women? Have you had either of those same feelings about men? If your answers are yes, yes, and no, it's highly possible that you're trying to find a dopamine rush that you can't get from vanilla, heterosexual porn anymore because you've become desensitized to the normal stuff. Addicts tend to chase that high by going to the most extreme depths (or genres in this case) to duplicate that high and it causes confusion. It doesn't mean you're gay.

Now if you had opposite answers for those same questions, maybe you are gay but who cares. We are who we are and that doesn't take anything away from you as a person.

If you want to test yourself, quit PMO for 90 days. If your desire for extreme sex with men fades or goes away in that time, or if you have no attraction to men at all for that matter, you'll know you're not gay.

 

I like anal but i dont like guys. Am i gay?

 

You probably can't turn gay but you can lose testosterone from ejaculating, therefore increasing estrogen levels. This together with a dopamine rush and quest for novelty could be leading to homosexual desires. However most of the time if it's HOCD you'll find you don't want to experience homosexual acts in real life, it's brought about by porn it's a lie.
I sometimes wonder if homosexuality is about love, or is it about lust?

 

Do you have a source for this information about ejaculating decreasing testosterone and subsequently being replaced by estrogen?

 

No. Anal is not an exclusively gay thing - some women enjoy it and so do some heterosexual men. Equally many homosexual men don't like anal. It has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.

 

U should check out the book "men and marriage". It is a very controversial book but has a lot of truth imo. The same people who would tell u porn is fine would tell u this book is full of crap. One of the points made suggest some homosexual urges stem from a lack of feeling masculine conflicting with a desire TO BE masculine. In other wods, If u can't be masculine perhaps u can have masculine, or consume masculinity through the taking of other males.

 

Its basic broscience. Why so many question?

 

Like all aspects of sexuality, it can be about love and lust. But why say this about homosexuality only @bken?

 

Does any of this truly matter? (Seriously. I'm interested in the answers.)

I'm asking myself that because it pains me to see so many people on NoFap question their sexuality or sexual preferences as if that makes them less of a human being. The bottom line is that we are addicted, and it has caused incredible stress and grief in our lives. Don't blame that on your innate sexual energy. My own addiction moved in very dangerous directions, but the source of that- my sexual energy- wasn't something that terrified me. It was how I chose to engage with that sexual energy that was terrifying.

 

My $0.02
The thoughts are likely porn induced. Others in this thread have done well to explain this. If you don't want to be gay, well thats fine. As you reboot you get better and better at mastering your mind. You don't have to let unwelcome thoughts hurt you or limit you.

I have experienced gay thoughts / fantasies for at least a year. I don't like them, they make me uncomfortable. Nevertheless, I am still okay. I don't think they will ever completely go away, nor will the rest of my perverted/sinful thoughts. But as @FlawedChristian puts it, they say nothing about me as a person. I firmly believe this.

I'm not one of those christians that think homosexuality isn't a real thing, no, of course some men are primarily sexually attracted to other men. I just think some people label themselves or others too hastily.

 

If you're a compulsive porn user and this only came about recently, it's safe to assume you're not gay. If you've been attracted to mailes since your teens, you're most definetely gay. Nothing wrong with being gay but if you consume way too much porn I think you know what you have to do.

 

Because I've been in that same place watching too much porn gave me homosexual desires at quite a young age. The doubt messes with your head. You can only discover who you truly are once you give up on pmo. In real life OP will most likely discover that he can't turn his fantasies into action because real life and porn are totally different things. Human beings, real men have an energy that will hold you back if you are truly straight, all porn does is lie and sending out negative vibes.

Also there are no studies that prove that ejaculation means losing testosterone, but, come on now here, testosterone is produced in the testicles, if you ejaculate it's safe to say you will lose at least some amount of it. Also the levels are affected by dopamine and things like zinc, if you have an addiction rest assured you will mess with other stuff that will eventually affect testosterone levels. PMO addiction in itself will turn someone into a beta male, I think it's safe to say that. Psychologically yes, men who are straight will become introverted and will start to doubt their sexuality. Watching others have sex can't be healthy and good for self esteem.

 

What?! Some people (their religion doesn't matter) don't believe homosexuality exists? How the heck are they explaining it? Even if they are the "choosing it" camp the "it" is still something