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I feel completely hopeless

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by mctaggstar, May 3, 2014.

  1. mctaggstar

    mctaggstar Fapstronaut

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    I feel as though I have absolutely no control over myself. I've seen people's posts about relapsing after several weeks or a month, but I can't even manage a week without fapping. Porn isn't the issue so much. I can abstain from it if I really want to, but I can't keep from fapping. This major tension builds up, I start getting physically and mentally agitated and distracted, and my work productivity suffers greatly because of it. Then, I feel ashamed and like a failure.

    I relapse like, every 2-3 days. I once managed to go a week. That's it. I have many personal reasons for not wanting to fap anymore, but it really has a hold on me. How do you make that god-forsaken extreme build-up of physical and mental tension go away? If anyone has ever seen the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks, remember how he builds a raft and keeps trying to get away from the island but the waves keep getting successively more aggressive the further away from land he gets, until they finally capsize him? That's how I feel. I really need some input and advice.
     
  2. Fallior

    Fallior Fapstronaut

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    For me, the best way to stay away from those thoughts is to just say to yourself 'no' or anything negative. Be sure though that the negative thought is not directed at you, but directed at the sexual thoughts themselves and just force yourself not to act on them. Force yourself not to 'touch' AT ALL except to pee. That's what I've done to finally go past a week, and that's what I'm doing this time to beat this. As long as you don't touch it, nothing can happen. As long as you associate those thoughts with an instead NO or whatever it takes, nothing can come from it. Here's an example... What aren't you attracted to? Whatever it is, what do you do to block out thoughts or whatever it is that you accidentally may have with those attractive thoughts? Use that same method on thoughts that you are attracted to.
    It's hard for me to fully explain it, but hopefully you kind of understand what I'm talking about. Wish you the best, and just know YOU CAN BEAT THIS!
     
  3. mctaggstar

    mctaggstar Fapstronaut

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    Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, really grateful :eek:
     
  4. johnnnnni

    johnnnnni Fapstronaut

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    you WILL FAIL. Its fine to feel hopeless and frustrated. You must learn from this and get back on your feet. I know i felt like complete shit every time i relapsed but it does get easier with time and the number doesnt matter anymore because you know youre changing for the better.
     
  5. Captain B

    Captain B Fapstronaut

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    If you haven't read this yet, it might help:
    http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/i-relapsed-what-now


    What helps me:

    1.) Sleeping with my clothes on (T-Shirt, boxers, pyjama pants) - sleeping naked is one of my worst triggers. So find your triggers and disable them.

    2.) Find a compensating activity. Something that you can do instead of PMO and that is also in a way rewarding. This could be any kind of hobby: sports, baking, reading, meditation... For me it's playing the guitar. The time you spend with PMO is pretty much wasted - exchange it for something you will benefit from. Imagine you practiced some sort of skill every time you want to PMO. How good would you be at that within a month or two??

    3.) Also related to no. 2, read this:
    http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
    Seriously, changed my life.

    4.) Maybe this could help you to feel less shitty about relapsing:
    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?10050-Alternative-counting-approach
     

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