I feel alone.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Infrasapiens, May 11, 2019.

  1. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    The title. I honestly don't know what else to type. I feel alone and it is getting to me. It is not like I am not used to it, but recently the loneliness has started to really affect me. It is not like I have no friends, I do have them, but I don't trust them completely to be open with them. There are things I would like to tell but I have no one to talk to. It is me the problem or am I surrounded by people who's not worth telling anything.
     
  2. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    I wouldn't blame either them or you, it seems to me a lot of socialization is fairly superficial and it isn't like most people are all that keen to hear other peoples problems, and for that matter to even seriously consider that it IS a problem in the case of PMO, though I don't know if you have other things in mind.

    Trust does have to be earned. On here we may have a common understanding, but to trust on a personal level is actually a big deal - I feel like it's kind of a luxury to just jump right in with an AP because at this point I know there are too many details about what makes a person who they are.

    On a related note, we talk about brotherhood and all that in rebooting but I think the real test is are we able to count those we may have a rapport with on here as one of our friends, and if that's the case then certainly at that point we can disclose our identity or at least show our face on video. Online it is possible to have a lot of projections just for the simple reason that we have to fill in the details to try to picture where a person is coming from, but we never know if those assumptions are accurate unless we check.

    The only thing I know, which is no guarantee for finding such a friend is to be the kind of person that I'd like to know and be able to trust. This may or may not come through to other people reading the forum, but it only makes sense. I sat and listened to a person share their story for a couple of hours today, nothing related to Nofap but I could tell it was really important to them. Generally I couldn't see myself spending that kind of time but it became obvious that's what needed to happen. Compared with the norm of sending text messages and such... I think most people in the general population needs to work on quality communication anyway, it's not just another aspect of rebooting but really an epidemic with our society at large.
     
  3. Ju@n

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    I’ve had some of your troubles as well. Used to have some good friends I would occasionally be open to but they are gone. Now, I don’t really have any friends to be open to as well. Also, family isn’t really an option for talking about these things for me. It’s hard when you need to share it with someone but you can’t seem to find anyone. It feels good to be able to express our thoughts on this site though. I recommend finding a few people on this site that you could get closer with. I’m always available, but I also know others like @prettyboichad and @nicename who might be nice to talk to. Send them and me a dm maybe.
     
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  4. nicename

    nicename Fapstronaut

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    Very humbling c:

    @Infrasapiens, relate to any of this?
    https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/com...imes/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
     
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  5. delhiboy

    delhiboy Fapstronaut

    What is your age?
     
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  6. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I used to have someone I could completely, and even then something made it hard to tell that person what I wanted to say. Here on NoFap I haven't found anyone like that, it probably has to do with the fact that most people here like to stay anonymous, exposing myself in a site full of recovering perverts doesn't sound like a very good idea.


    Yes, family is not really an option when it comes to mental health, unless you need special attention. Even when it is easier to talk about anything here, I would rather have one person to talk to about this kind of things, I don't know if I made myself clear.

    Well, I don't know. There are no responses so I suppose I can relate with that sometimes.

    21.
     
  7. Harvey72

    Harvey72 Fapstronaut

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    I feel the same like you and tryna get out of it
     
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  8. nicename

    nicename Fapstronaut

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    That feeling won't go away, it will just change into other things. All people feel alone in some way, and we deal with this by entertaining ourselves with useless things like war and video games. To most people, life is just a game you can't win, so they just keep playing and changing things so they feel more in the moment. This generally works, however, there are people who choose not to live this way. I would say the biggest reason people see life that way is because they don't appreciate all that is in front of them. Like a porn addict, as soon as they get bored with one thing, they move on to another. People do this consistently.
    Don't wanna feel lonely? Use something to distract yourself for the time being, or learn to have purpose in the moment. Besides, what is so wrong with this moment right now that you have to feel lonely?
    Edit: just a question to ask yourself.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2019
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  9. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Do you think that if someone had a similar problem, you could talk to them about it?
     
  10. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I apologize but this doesn't makes me feel any better. I do not want to reveal where I live so I cannot tell you the specific reasons why I feel alone, but all I can is that things are bad and they will only get worse.

    I don't know. I would have to learn to trust them first.
     
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  11. nicename

    nicename Fapstronaut

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    Makes sense. Nothing I say is really meant to make anyone feel anything.

    It seems there are specifics burning in your chest that need to be answered and no one around to answer them, which leaves me at my wit's end. If you want, you can detail this stuff in private with me or lay it all out right here, even. Don't worry, no one on here is a mandatory reporter, I believe, at least not in this context.

    Yes I realize you didn't ask for me help, just offering. Take it at your expense.
     
  12. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I appreaciate your help, but I barely know you. Besides I don't want to burden you with my problems.
     
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  13. nicename

    nicename Fapstronaut

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    Ah, burden, don't burden, people get hurt either way. No worries! Not knowing is a bit of a problem, init? Well, allow me to introduce myself... Over the internet... Hello, my name is Nicename Wifi, you can call me either Nicename or Mr. Wifi, either one is fine. I am 19 years of age and helping people is my hobby. What could you possibly want to know about me to assuage your fears of asking for help online from random strangers? And if you don't mind me saying, I'm probably the best you're gonna get, if you don't mind a little conceitedness. So ye.

    Ah, that's my alias, not my real name.
     
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  14. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Exactly... Learn to trust one of your friends first... See, I just made you look through another person's perspective... Learn to know someone. Get their trust, and then you could talk to them about it. I feel that a girl would understand it better than a guy, I don't know why. (that rhymed :D)
     
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  15. Ju@n

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Maybe talking to a staff member might help. Idk if you’d trust em even then, though. Good luck and best wishes my dude. I guess it’s a good thing that you’re staying cautious, just don’t end up dying inside.

    When I was depressed it sucked ass, and I wish I had people to talk to and understand me.
     
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  16. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Well, you asked for it.

    I suppose I could try, but the results could backfire at me.
     
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  17. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    If they backfire at you, backfire the backfired results... Simple. :D
     
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  18. Ju@n

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    There’s risk in everything. Every time we open up to another there’s a possibility things will go wrong. All relationships have their ends.

    It’s good that you’re sharing your feelings and logic.
     
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  19. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your advice, but I would rather talk to someone who is not a moderator. It is not like I don't like them, but they are busy people and I dom't want to bother.
     
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  20. nicename

    nicename Fapstronaut

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    That's reasonable. Don't be afraid to reach out though. Thank you for reaching out in this thread.
     
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