I don't see a point in this effort.

Youre right. It IS a bigger underlying problem. There is a fundamental root to this whole thing . I feel like apart of the journey is to find out what that is. Why is it that you go to P, and M? Is it loneliness? Fear of being alone ? Was there something in your childhood thatade you feel like that was a good way to cope with something going on?
It's a long journey, but if you want to get better , then you have to go through it. No matter the difficulty.

 

I agree with Chef, for mostly all of us there's a greater underlying issue that brings us to P and M as comforts. When it comes to finding a therapist you can check for some in your area through your insurance if you have your own. It's how me and my wife find ours.

I say stay the course and dig deep. It'll be worthwhile once you can find the underlying issue and start to treat that as well. You have a great resource here with supportive men and women that can help encourage and strengthen you.

Until you can find any professional help, look inward and start digging around to see if you can find the root of the issue. We often know more than we thought we did we just sometimes subconsciously suppress things.

 

Hi there, I see that you are relatively new to the community and would suggest to give it more time (please feel welcome here, nothing is off limits). NoFap-PM is not a magic solution to life issues, it's my understanding that it's a way for us to get a clearer mind (along with other benefits) and start tackling problems that bother us about ourselves or others (changing the self is much easier though...).

Change takes time, it's an everyday struggle, a few weeks time isn't enough. It will take many months, maybe a couple of years for you to see that your life is beginning to turn around for the better (I mean real, long lasting change).

Before going to a psychologist, go see a close friend and discuss it. If you haven't any, this community is here for you (me as well, if you wanna send a message).

Hope to be of any help, don't panic! Everybody suffers, yet the world isn't falling apart...

 

Hey brother, you are correct. No PMO will not solve all of your problems. Its function in our lives is mainly to numb the pain, so without it you will feel all of your emotional pain. But this is a good thing because only when you feel it can you move through it. It is ok to feel depressed, maybe your life is depressing right now. If it is then it is natural to feel sad. Keep crying. Tears let out more than salt water from your body. And keep seaching for genuine connection. As far as therapists go...I go to a CSAT certified therapist and he has greatly helped to illuminate my personal tendancies. You can do this my friend. I spent the first year of recovery questioning if my life was ever going to be ok again. Some do not take as long a I did to feel better, but I am particularly stubborn so change is hard. I would also suggest looking for an SA SAA or SLAA group that meets near you. These are groups specifically for sexual addiction. The biggest benefit of going to a group is realizing that you are not alone and it is a huge resource for support, much like nofap.

 

This is awesome! Do be warned that MOST therapists are not well versed in porn addiction and betrayal trauma and end up re-traumatizing their patients with their lack of understanding. Finding a qualified therapist can be a bit of a search, so stick with therapists with the credentials of CMAT or CSAT and you should be well on your way to finding a qualified therapist that does understand porn addiction and betrayal trauma.

 

Remember that quitting porn is not about having more sex. It is about having a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with sex. Porn is fatally flawed in that it does not have any of the key components of good sex. Good, partnered sex makes you feel desired, cared for and valued, in a situation where you are forming an intimate connection and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Sex does not need to escalate in order to continue to satisfy you. Sex does not leave you feeling guilty, empty or worthless (if it does, then you are with the wrong partner). Loving sex between loving partners is nothing like PMO. The orgasm is the only shared attribute.

Good sex can only really be had with a partner who cares deeply for you. If that is something that you do not currently have, then you need to create that situation. Any time spent masturbating is time wasted that could have been spent on self-improvement, or on repairing a relationship going through a tough time, or on seeking out a loving relationship with a wonderful partner. PMO keeps you locked in your current situation, all the while damaging your relationships, stealing your time and warping your view of sex, of yourself and of what to expect from a partner.

Nofap is not a quick and easy instant fix. But it is a fix. Life without porn is a better life. If nothing else, setting a goal and sticking to it builds resilience, self-confidence and discipline. Men who don't watch porn tend to be more generous, more sensitive and overall better lovers. Your current partner (if you have one) or your future partner (if you are single) will appreciate your Nofap journey and all of the positive results of improving yourself in this way.

It is worth keeping up your streak. If there are other aspects of your life causing you distress or keeping you from happiness, then keep trying to determine what they are. You know that Ming won't make you feel better. Continuing with your nofap journey could, with enough time, help you to feel much better. You will only find out if you keep up the hard work.

Congratulations on your streak so far. You should be proud of what you have achieved. The more you stick it out, the better and better things get. There are hard times, and it sounds like you are going through one, but sticking to the challenge is always better than giving in and relapsing.

Good luck.