I don't know

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Katrina Rose, Nov 29, 2018.

  1. Katrina Rose

    Katrina Rose Fapstronaut

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    I don't know what to think about this.
    My bf and I have been together for a little over a year now. Things have gotten better gradually over the last 6 month's since our huge DDay.
    We were in love long before we ever got close to intimate. Before our first kiss even. We actually went on dates and, I felt, dated the right way. In the past 20 years of my dating life he is the first man I've loved BEFORE we had sex. So It's been an entirely different and good experience for me in that aspect.
    Now, we are in a good place. The best we've ever been. Our sex life has been on track for the past couple months and enjoyable.
    But what I'm experiencing recently, as in the past few days, is a very vulnerable feeling after sex. Not in a bad way, or due to any issues between us. It's in this wierd and pure way. And I know he's experiencing the same thing. So what the hell is it?
     
    Deleted Account and anewhope like this.
  2. Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut

    Sounds beautiful.
     
    Max Fisher likes this.
  3. anewhope

    anewhope Fapstronaut

    I get the same thing when things are going very well. For me initimacy and vulnerability are closely linked. To be truly intimate with someone you expose your most vulnerable places - physically and emotionally. If you are both feeling the same, embrace it - and each other.

    ANH
     
  4. Jennica

    Jennica Fapstronaut

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    It feels weird at first, it kinda feels almost like underlying skepticism at first. If it continues it starts to become the norm and easier to embrace without thought. It’s the beginning of feeling trust in the intimacy. I can attest with the consistency of it, it feels good again and you start to forget what that little bit of skepticism feels like. It’s a good thing, you are feeling the effectiveness of your healing together.
     
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  5. Katrina Rose

    Katrina Rose Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all so much!!!! I appreciate all of you more than you know. Things wouldn't be good without this place, and all of your insight and advice.
     
    anewhope likes this.
  6. That's good. I thought there was no hope for your relationship but it appears I was wrong. :emoji_relaxed:
     
  7. Katrina Rose

    Katrina Rose Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. We were like long lost friends from the start. We messaged for 2 months before ever going on an actual date. (Even though we were acquaintances before this) After our first time out it was just fireworks for both of us. That is why the PMO was so devastating for us. We were so passionate about eachother before the bedroom phase, and it didn't transfer. It all cycles through from that point and taints all the memories you have of that "perfect partner". It took ME a long time to even start healing. I thought, with the gaslighting in the beginning, I may have over reacted and over thought this situation. I thought I may be just too damaged to deal with "normal" behaviour. I came here so desperate to find some glimmer of hope. Reading other PAs journeys put into perspective how bad my own SOs addiction really was, and how hard he would have to fight for our relationship. The other SOs here have taught me that we come out stronger if we're lucky, and life still goes on even if things are falling apart. I love you all like family.
     
    kaia, Jennica and Trappist like this.

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