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I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Theqikone, Oct 20, 2017.

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  1. Theqikone

    Theqikone New Fapstronaut

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    I've been "addicted" to porn as long as I can remember. I've always HATED that I've had that in my life and I hid it from pretty much everyone I've known. I married the love of my life 4 years ago, hiding only that fact from her. Two nights ago, we had a completely honest and open conversation and she asked me if I had ever masterbated, which I replied "yes". She immediately followed up the question of whether I had watched porn, and with complete fear in my heart, I answered yes again.
    The conversation that night felt like a total release and so freeing to me, but I didn't realize how much hurt it would cause her. I've always had a feeling that I was "cheating" on my wife while watching porn, but couldn't stop it anyway. And tonight she cried to me saying that she doesn't feel like she can trust me again. My wife is no prude and has even watched porn herself, but I think it's the fact that it was such a shock to her. Honestly, I'm the prude in the relationship. I don't swear, I've never drank, never smoked, or done any drug. I'm completely different from any other man she's had in her life and with the revelation that I've been addicted to porn and hid it from her for so long, it's like I've ruined the idea that there are truly good guys out there. I can see exactly why she feels betrayed.
    I've looked for help so many times for my problem, but every time I end up falling right back into it feeling like there's no hope for me. I'm feeling pretty down about this now and want to know what can I do? I don't want to lose my wife's trust, but don't know how I can earn it back. I honestly feel like I'll fall right back into it again because I've tried so many times to stop. I want to be done with porn forever!

    Needing encouragement,
    Theqikone
     
    MrSuccess17 likes this.
  2. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    congratulation ur being very courageous. ur thoughts, ur willingness higlhy appreciated.
     
  3. vxlccm

    vxlccm Fapstronaut

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    In the end, let's hope she trusts you more. You sound like a Mormon. Either way, probably exactly like one of the last good guys out there. The reveal had to happen someday. Better at year 4 than at year 20. Are you going to talk with her some more about your plans to break the cycle and let go forever?
     
  4. Quit porn for good and make it clear to her you'll never again look at it. Keep assuring her that you've stopped and that she's the obly woman you'll be looking at that way. She'll trust you again no problem, just quit porn for good.
     
    vxlccm likes this.

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