I don't know how I can do this? Help.

What I mean is, not to touch my small shrunken 'desensitized feeling' dick during my reboot so pre-cum comes out. It's like I conditioned my brain to feel like I need that 'dopamine high' from just 'edging' by touching my shrunken dick (without climax) with 'precum'. This is hard because I'm so use to doing it and needing that 'feel good' sensation. I really hate myself. I haven't fully climaxed or downloaded the dating app since last week. Is this considered a complete relapse (because of edging) or (some) progress (because of not masturbating for a week or seeking people on dating websites)?

If so, then am I making progress by not giving into masturbating completely? I need my brain to be sensitized again, so this is hard. I am so use to needing that 'sexual high' to 'feel good'.

Any tips countering this? I know meditation helps but I haven't been able to concentrate on that for benefits. After this bad cough I have goes away, I'll probably going to the gym.

I feel stuck and this reboot feels stuck. I feel like everything else is 'boring' and the only damn thing I'm really into is that 'sexual dopamine high' or playing a video game. Some people aren't as boring and making friends and being social is probably my biggest hurdle right now. My job is also making me depressed and I have few friends and most of them are in the process of moving away. I don't see them as much.

I surmise that my severe anxiety is from PMO and perhaps my perception of certain things as 'boring' to over-PMOing as well. It's time to reverse that process and I feel like I'm in an upward battle with that 'feel good' sexual high that I need to avoid.

I am in mental health treatment for bipolar depression. I also am gay and struggle with 'coming out' to a certain degree. I am very pessimistic and take very little risks. I also can't handle stress well.

I will say that I have started paying for driving lessons and am making progress in that area. I need to continue. That's one positive step.

I am home way too much and unfortunately can't get around often and the only places I go to is my job once in a while or to see friends. I depend on other people to get around.

I apologize for sounding like a broken record because I've been here for over a year and still haven't rebooted but again, I'm still struggling.

I wasn't sure if my issue was porn at first, but after a doctor told me that he 'guaranteed' that my issue was no physical damage to the dick I kind of retrospectively looked at my symptoms prior to my loss of libido and shrunken dick and I remember being hyper-sexual and getting into the Scruff app more and more in terms of masturbating and edging. Porn is the only thing I surmise is why I have this condition.

I clearly have a problem but at least I'm recognizing it. I'm struggling.

I need to replace Scruff with real people and work on my social skills.

I could never handle stress well and that's bad. I used PMO to comfort me and to make me feel better about my 'needful state'. And that's bad.

There's more I want to say, but I feel almost embarrassed. This stupid PMO to porn habit has fucked up the sex life of my 20's. (I'm 30 now).

 

What are the realistic chances that someone hurts their dick and damages it permanently from something like TMS that's not intentional?