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I date a guy for six months and I have problems because of porn.

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by BreatheSound, Aug 5, 2018.

  1. BreatheSound

    BreatheSound Fapstronaut

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    I feel like I'm having problems in my relationship. I date a guy for six months. At first I did not care much about pornography, it even made me forget about it. However, time has passed and I fall back into addiction. Now, I'm two days clean and my anxiety is going to the top. He is very calm and gives me security, I discovered that I love him. But my anxiety and the desire to get rid of pornography is driving me away from him. I do not know if what I want is some time for me and I concentrate on my rehabilitation or my fellings is different now. Anyway, I just did not want my relationship to end because of this, because I really like him. But for now I have not been able to demonstrate much. This makes me sad.
     
  2. TheManDude

    TheManDude Fapstronaut

    It's your choice really, if he is supportive then that should help you stay away from PMO...
    Why do you think this is happening? Getting rid of your addiction should ve a good thing.
     
  3. BreatheSound

    BreatheSound Fapstronaut

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    Hi, how are you? Yes, a principle should be a good thing, but I feel that the touches can lead me to something. Not that it really does, but I feel this need to really refrain, either my mind or that need.
    I do not know if I can make myself understood, but it's as if my mind were asking for that time.In any case, thank you for your support. It meant a lot!
     
  4. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    TREAT YOUR ANXIETY. It is likely the porn is an escape from that same anxiety not the cause of it. Get some ashwaganda , meditate, workout, look up jordan peterson anxiety videos and porn. Communicate with him about it as honestly as u can without feeling too bad about it. Fix the things in ur life and the relationship that give u the time and triggers to watch porn. I hope it works out for u.
     
    BreatheSound likes this.
  5. BCICAN

    BCICAN Fapstronaut

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    Have you been truly honest with him, about your addiction, about your apprehension. You might be surprised by the response if you trust him with being vulnerable about these things. It may even empower you further with him knowing all the different parts of you the good and the bad. Be gentle with yourself.
     
    BreatheSound likes this.
  6. Addictions are just replacements (fills) for things you are missing in life. Maybe try to find what has changed since the beginning of the relationship, then add that element again!

    And... you don't want your relationship to end because of that - okay, then don't end it this way! Solve the challenge! Acknowledge & remind yourself that everything here is in your control. Start treating your anxiety (tons of resources, ask google :)), great. Then threat PMO addiction, repair your life. If you take action now, your relationship can flourish, even more, can become even more strong, can become a life-long one. If you don't take action, you already know what will happen...

    And, try to confess to your partner, if possible - this way he can support you, help you overcome these challenges, stay strong with you and together, you will build an even stronger relationship. Don't solve these challenges alone if you can do them with other people :)

    And, last but not least - do not be afraid of this situation! :) Hundreds of couples were in exact situation you are in. And they recovered, even married after :) This isn't nothing special/insolvable. You have power to solve it :) so use it...

    good luck, stay strong
    tomsko
     
    BreatheSound likes this.
  7. BreatheSound

    BreatheSound Fapstronaut

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    Thank you to everyone who is giving me advice and support! Know that I am very grateful to everything I have been told, it helps me to focus on the target.

    Unfortunately, I had a relapse a few days ago. Before that I was almost three weeks without any pornography or masturbation and I saw how well I was doing, and my relationship as well. However, I fell relapsed with the arrival of some stresses in other areas of my life.

    But I am finding the strength and means to deal with it. I started exercising and gotten a lot out of my anxiety and helped me in control. Next step is to stay longer than 3 weeks and continue until you no longer need counts.

    As for my relationship, I've always been honest with him in all parts of my life, less than that. I feel ashamed and afraid to disappoint. He even talked to me about this kind of addiction and told me about the help he gives to some of his friends. I realize that he would give me strength if I showed that I really do not want that kind of thing anymore.

    I realize that the next step is to have to analyze my relationship and create the courage I need to tell. Even though I think he can be my great supporter, I still feel a fear because I really love him. And, loving him, I want to be honest in everything and in all parts of myself. I just need the courage to say.
     
    FX-05 likes this.

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