I couldn't get hard last night with my girlfriend

friedtwk · Jul 13, 2018

So I did NoFap for 40 days last year, and during that time I experienced a lot of growth. I started craving intimacy and a relationship rather than sex. This caused me to sign up for online dating profiles like tinder. I have had some good and bad experiences with tinder, but I met my current girlfriend off tinder and we have a really good connection. However, I stopped doing NoFap and went back to my old ways. The main reason I started doing NoFap is that of my social anxiety, especially with girls. Although I felt as if I grew as a person during my time doing NoFap, I don't really think it helped me too much with my social anxiety. I felt as if I just needed to get out more and go on dates and make more of an effort to meet girls, which has definitely helped me out a lot. Some say that dating is a skill, that you need to practice. But anyways, this was my experience and long story from last night with my girlfriend. It's pretty cringey and embarrassing. I'm thinking about going back to NoFap after what happened last night.

So my girlfriend and I have gone on three dates with each other. Each date we've gotten more and more intimate and consensual with each other. However, I wasn't sure how fast we were gonna have sex. I wasn't really expecting/planning on attempting to have sex last night. I am very much attracted to her and I masturbate daily usually with the thought of having sex with my girlfriend. I literally get hard and horny around her all the time, when we hold hands, kiss, and cuddle. I am 19 years old and a virgin and she's 18 and she's had sex only one time before me.

Anyways, last night I was touching her and I started taking off her clothes and next thing I know we were both naked. It was like a dream come true, I couldn't believe it was happening. I started kissing her, sucking on her titties, and licking her pussy. I was so ****ing hard and I wanted to **** her so bad, but I didn't have any condoms because I wasn't really intending on all of that to happen. So anyway, we stopped and we kind of agreed that we would have sex, but I needed to get some condoms. So we put our clothes on and I drove to the store to pick up some condoms. However, I have never bought condoms on before nor put them on so it was kind of awkward. I'm not gonna lie as we were driving to the store and there I was kind of nervous, but at the same time excited, I couldn't believe it was about to happen.

So we get back to my house and get undressed again. She started sucking my dick to get me hard. I would get hard and then I would put the condom on, but tbh, I'm not even sure if I had the right sized condom or if I put it on correctly. It felt awkward and weird af on my dick. But anyways, it was like every time as soon as I got hard I couldn't maintain it to get inside of her. We tried all sorts of different positions, she tried riding me and I tried missionary and from behind, but we could not get anything to work. There were a few times where we got close, but my dick would slip out as I started to come inside of her. Part of the problem was because I was a virgin, this was the first time I have seen a vagina so I wasn't even sure where to enter her at first, she had to like point and show me where her hole was, literally every time.

I swear we tried so hard for like 2 hours, but nothing was working. I have no idea what happened...all I know is I felt like absolute **** and a ****ing loser. It was awkward, humiliating, and embarrassing. I'm not sure if it was performance anxiety, the condoms, or if it had something to do with how much I masturbate and I used to watch pornography a lot.

Also, I'm pretty sure I masturbated the morning of that day. Also, I was really confused as of what happened so I jacked off as I was laying right next to her just to see if I could get off and I was able to cum. Luckily, my girlfriend was very understanding, but at the same time she was getting upset asking if I was even turned on by her and she kept on saying how horny and wet she was for me and how she wanted me inside of her so ****ing bad. I really wanted to **** the **** out of her, but nothing was going right for me last night.

Could anybody give me some advice as of what went wrong?

spylight · Jul 13, 2018

Its kind of hard to say brother. I can imagine putting a condom on for the first time would be hard and might screw up your boner. Hell, even I have trouble putting them on sometime. I recommend you practice putting one on by yourself. Buy a pack of 12 at Walgreens. Also, if you have trouble performing, some women may take is as a sign that you aren't attracted to them, when in reality this couldn't be further from the truth. Don't masturbate or watch porn AT ALL.

Next time you guys have sex, have her 'guide' you in with her hand. If your just not getting hard tell her to do things you like, like maybe a hard handjob. If it still isn't happening, you may just need a lot of time without masturbation or porn.

Neltsov · Jul 13, 2018

If you were hard on your first time, I do not think there is any problem with your dick because of what happened when you returned with the comdoms. I think like spylight said putting a condom is not as easy as it looks and you were very nervous. On my first time i was also pretty nervous like exploring the body of the gf I had at the time to get to know how it works and how to do stuff. You can try another time because it will work if you are both relaxed. And yes Keep away from PMO. I notice that when I am away from PMO more time than usual my boner get better.

Health is key · Jul 14, 2018

friedtwk said: ↑

So I did NoFap for 40 days last year, and during that time I experienced a lot of growth. I started craving intimacy and a relationship rather than sex. This caused me to sign up for online dating profiles like tinder. I have had some good and bad experiences with tinder, but I met my current girlfriend off tinder and we have a really good connection. However, I stopped doing NoFap and went back to my old ways. The main reason I started doing NoFap is that of my social anxiety, especially with girls. Although I felt as if I grew as a person during my time doing NoFap, I don't really think it helped me too much with my social anxiety. I felt as if I just needed to get out more and go on dates and make more of an effort to meet girls, which has definitely helped me out a lot. Some say that dating is a skill, that you need to practice. But anyways, this was my experience and long story from last night with my girlfriend. It's pretty cringey and embarrassing. I'm thinking about going back to NoFap after what happened last night.

So my girlfriend and I have gone on three dates with each other. Each date we've gotten more and more intimate and consensual with each other. However, I wasn't sure how fast we were gonna have sex. I wasn't really expecting/planning on attempting to have sex last night. I am very much attracted to her and I masturbate daily usually with the thought of having sex with my girlfriend. I literally get hard and horny around her all the time, when we hold hands, kiss, and cuddle. I am 19 years old and a virgin and she's 18 and she's had sex only one time before me.

Anyways, last night I was touching her and I started taking off her clothes and next thing I know we were both naked. It was like a dream come true, I couldn't believe it was happening. I started kissing her, sucking on her titties, and licking her pussy. I was so ****ing hard and I wanted to **** her so bad, but I didn't have any condoms because I wasn't really intending on all of that to happen. So anyway, we stopped and we kind of agreed that we would have sex, but I needed to get some condoms. So we put our clothes on and I drove to the store to pick up some condoms. However, I have never bought condoms on before nor put them on so it was kind of awkward. I'm not gonna lie as we were driving to the store and there I was kind of nervous, but at the same time excited, I couldn't believe it was about to happen.

So we get back to my house and get undressed again. She started sucking my dick to get me hard. I would get hard and then I would put the condom on, but tbh, I'm not even sure if I had the right sized condom or if I put it on correctly. It felt awkward and weird af on my dick. But anyways, it was like every time as soon as I got hard I couldn't maintain it to get inside of her. We tried all sorts of different positions, she tried riding me and I tried missionary and from behind, but we could not get anything to work. There were a few times where we got close, but my dick would slip out as I started to come inside of her. Part of the problem was because I was a virgin, this was the first time I have seen a vagina so I wasn't even sure where to enter her at first, she had to like point and show me where her hole was, literally every time.

I swear we tried so hard for like 2 hours, but nothing was working. I have no idea what happened...all I know is I felt like absolute **** and a ****ing loser. It was awkward, humiliating, and embarrassing. I'm not sure if it was performance anxiety, the condoms, or if it had something to do with how much I masturbate and I used to watch pornography a lot.

Also, I'm pretty sure I masturbated the morning of that day. Also, I was really confused as of what happened so I jacked off as I was laying right next to her just to see if I could get off and I was able to cum. Luckily, my girlfriend was very understanding, but at the same time she was getting upset asking if I was even turned on by her and she kept on saying how horny and wet she was for me and how she wanted me inside of her so ****ing bad. I really wanted to **** the **** out of her, but nothing was going right for me last night.

Could anybody give me some advice as of what went wrong?
Click to expand...

Here is my advice. I am a PIED sufferer so I know what you are going through but you might have performance anxiety. The position that I would go to when all else failed would be her on top of me and I would pull her chest against mine so that we could make out whilst having sex. If you can't maintain an erection doing that I would say that there is a very strong chance that you have PIED and I recommend doing a reboot because that is a quite intimate position. Additionally masturbating in the morning would not have helped either. Try at least a week of abstinence and see if you can have sex with that position.

Deleted Account · Jul 25, 2018

First time is always the hardest. You get performance anxiety you have to learn while you are trying to have sex. My advice would be to experiment and practice with condoms. Learn how to put them on and see which ones a good fit. It seems that you are currently MO a lot right now too. I would make an exception and tell you to practice and see what happens with and without the condoms. But only short term!

No PMO is the answer, you have a girlfriend now so you have to leave this life behind. Otherwise you won’t be able to get it up because your brain is wired to porn and fap at the moment. That’s why you were easily able to get yourself off you are used to your touch.

ukbritishbloke · Jul 25, 2018

friedtwk said: ↑

However, I stopped doing NoFap and went back to my old ways.
Click to expand...

There are lot of things going on here. You're young, this was your first time ... lots of people's first time is a fail.

But the line I quote above stood out to me. Give up PMO completely, and I think you'll soon find your dick works fine. But this time, don't go back to your old ways. Never go back.

lamstronger · Jul 26, 2018

I know that feel, when you can't have sex, but you want to so bad.

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I couldn't get hard last night with my girlfriend

friedtwk Fapstronaut

spylight Fapstronaut

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Health is key Fapstronaut

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