I can't stop my self without blockers?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, May 14, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I got rid of my smart phone and I was in a very lucky situation for a while where I basically had set up a system where I was using a few different blockers, using my internet service provider, my anti virus and clean browsing family dns.

    Basically I had all porn blocked.

    All social media and social media content sharing was blocked. This means another website trying to share an image or video from a social media site would be blocked or blanked out. So on a website trying to share it or on a search engine like google images you wouldn't be able to see any image or video from a social media site.

    Every anonymous search engine was completely blocked.

    Vp ns and proxy sites were completely blocked.

    Safe search was permanently locked on on every search engine you could use.

    Youtube restricted mode was permanently locked on and couldn't be switched off.

    App downloads were blocked. So I couldn't download any app on to my computer. So this was stopping social media apps from being downloaded.

    Someone who I trusted was the administrator of my computer and if I needed anything done on my computer they had to enter the password. The were the administrator on my computer and for every blocker I used. So I could delete any blockers or turn off the clean browsing dns I was using.

    The level of blocks I had was unreal. You literally could hardly see anyting that would cause relapse.

    But now sky my internet service provider had recently decided that it is going to block third party dns's. So now I can't use the clean browsing family dns, and I can only reply on the porn block on my sky broadband sheild, and my anti virus.

    Porn is still blocked.

    social media sites are still blocked

    vp ns and proxies are still blocked.

    However some anonymous search engines remain unblocked. This means I can access social media images and some slight pornographic images. women topless, in underwear ext.

    The restricted mode on youtube is no longer locked on.

    So yeah basically I can now access social media and some slight pornographic images. I can also access arousing videos on youtube.

    I honestly feel like I can't say no and can't stop my self without the blocks?

    How do you guys who don't use blockers do it? I just don't know what to do?
     
    llortaton likes this.
  2. diep

    diep Fapstronaut

    llortaton likes this.
  3. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    Look man, this is just my humble opinion, but if you NEED the blockers you get used to the blockers, which means you're not getting rid of your addiction, you just prevent yourself from getting your fix. That's is NOT a long-term solution.
    I've used blockers for a while. YT sucks on restricted mode. You can't even watch the JRE podcasts and certain music. That's no way to live man.

    I firmly believe a man should be able to look at a naked pair of beautiful tits, feel his arousal, and then just go on with his day as if nothing happened, maybe even a little happier. That's how it should be. And at some point you have a real naked pair of tits in front of you and you can act on your arousal. That's how it's supposed to be.

    If you live with blockers you can't get there. Because your monkey brain goes bananas when it sees a trigger and sets a hundred leavers in motion. So your solution is just don't look. But if you never train yourself to look at porn differently, to process a trigger differently, you'll always stay the same addicted monkey.
     
    llortaton likes this.
  4. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    This is correct. Definitely not long term solution, maybe one for the first week or month at most. Depends on the severity of addiction.
     
  5. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    I have heard that before, but the reality is people just adjust to their new reality. It's like porn addiction without blockers is problem A. Porn addiction with blockers is problem B. You can learn to live with problem B but as soon as you remove your blockers you have to deal with problem A again, because you still haven't figured that one out. You know what I mean?
     
  6. Live life

    Live life Fapstronaut

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    Dude, you are in a society where you cannot completely block porn . Even if you do so it can come to you in many other new ways. What should change is not the level of blocking, It's you man.
     
  7. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

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    Blockers are an attempt to shift responsibility from you to something else, they only help with very mild triggers at initial stages of withdrawal.
    Relying on them as way to stop the addictive behavior is bad idea.
     
  8. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    There is definitely the problem where people just depend on porn blockers, but if one is seriously addicted he needs every bit of help initially to see that "it is possible to not PMO for 2 weeks for example". There are some people who are so severely addicted they'd need months to do a clean streak of 2 weeks no PMO initially.

    But i won't consider someone who had a 100 day steak "cured" if he just used porn blockers. He's addicted to porn and porn blockers now.
     
  9. diep

    diep Fapstronaut

    It is normal because you are addicted to porn. If you have enough time break free from porn and these triggers, you will be back to normal. Don't test yourself against pornography because it is the certain way into relapse and binge period. I've tried that way and always failed by believing in myself so much when fighting against porn. Try to stay away from porn. Figure out your own plan to deal with triggers and urges when they come. Stick to it and you will be healed. God bless you :)

    P/s: The plan is very simple. When the urge comes, you will do X or Y or Z activity to resist the temptation from porn. X, Y, Z can be going out for a walk, talk with your AP or do 100 push ups. That's it. Distract your mind when the urge come, turn off and go away from triggers that lead you to porn.
     
  10. Paradigma

    Paradigma Fapstronaut

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    I have the same problem. I need blockers to get some momentum otherwise I feel overwhelmed already in the first days. I've been trying Nofap for 2 years now, my best attempt was 80 days. After that I felt like I had no motivation. Now I feel like urges are overchallenging. Interestingly I managed Nofap for 80 days without any blocker, just through willpower alone because I was extremely motivated to get it done.
     
  11. diep

    diep Fapstronaut

    I have been doing this for 9 years and I understand that. Even when I got long streak and some days I just feel don't like to do this anymore. Urges and sinful thoughts just popped up in my mind and it was very tempted to give in. And porn is just very easy to access on Internet nowadays.
     
  12. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Porn blockers were not for me, I'd have found a way round them if I needed to. Here's a brain dump of what worked for me instead: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips.188276/#post-1608563 Some of it might work for you. Read lots here, experiment, keep trying.
     
  13. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

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    I respectfully disagree. Having filters and blocks on my personal devices has been absolutely critical to my recovery. I'm not suggesting anyone rely on them 100%, but in my humble opinion, they are an absolutely vital part of any recovery from porn addiction. If you were counseling an alcoholic who's having trouble staying sober, but spends all his time in the bar, the first thing you'd suggest is that he get out of the f***ing bar.

    I'd say the best solution is two-fold ... install all the blocks that feel appropriate for your personal devices, and then work on yourself and your own triggers.

    You're right. But in the same vein, an alcoholic should be able to enjoy a drink in a bar, pay his tab, and walk away. But alcoholics can't do that. If they have one drink, they'll have five, or six, or seven. I agree that a man should be able to look at a beautiful naked woman, enjoy the view, and walk away, but porn addicts need to be crystal clear about how dangerous that is for them.
     
    kropo82 and diep like this.
  14. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    The alcohol analogy is not as good as people think it is. Nobody needs alcohol. Everybody needs sex. Quite an important difference.
     
  15. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

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    That's a false statement. People have sexual desires. They don't have sexual needs. There is no "need" for sex that's so great that you'll die without it.

    Air? Food? Water? Shelter? Clothing? Those are needs. Sex is not.

    Plus, the moment you set up sex as a "need", you give yourself license to do just about anything in pursuit of fulfilling that need. How many times have people justified cheating on a partner because their "sexual needs" weren't being fulfilled?
     
    Tao Jones likes this.
  16. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    Another note on blockers/accountability software: I have committed to using accountability software for the rest of my life. Why? It is a great help to me in my sobriety, but it is also in place for the peace of mind of my wife. She sleeps better at night (and so do I, tbh), knowing that everything I do online is being broadcast to a network of trusted friends across the globe. I was an active addict for 25 years. Eternal vigilance is the price I am willing to pay for freedom. Software helps me when my own vigilance flags, *and* it helps to restore and maintain trust in my closest relationship.

    It is no bad thing for a lame man to use a crutch to help him walk.
     

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