I can quit, but my mind doesn’t want to

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by willie wonka, Jul 14, 2018 at 2:24 AM.

  1. willie wonka

    willie wonka Fapstronaut

    17
    14
    3
    Today, on my trip to the Dominican Republic, on my 5th day of being pmo free I relapsed. For one hour at 12 am in the night I was fighting looking at porn(which was a death sentence already) and eventually gave in and experienced being that lifeless,unmotivated,unhappy person I was,IM SO SICK OF IT,I’ve been fighting for 3 years trying to end this addiction and my longest streak is 15 days, I lost that streak cause I got rejected so hard by what in my mind was the greatest girl in the world and thought it would help the pain and suicidal thoughts but it only made it worse.I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE,I tell myself this everyday but I keep doing the same thing everyday, I have a whole list of habbits and triggers to avoid and to do but this voice in my head convinces me to either give up, not do them at all or I completely forget AND ALWAYS RELAPSE.NOT ANYMORE as of RIGHT NOW I won’t let that voice control me and I won’t do what is comfortable but what is right,I won’t deal with this shit for another year,i will change For the better and I’ll do whatever it takes to do so “Insanity is doing the exact same Fucking thing over and over again expecting shit to change,that is crazy”
     
  2. Philips699

    Philips699 New Fapstronaut

    1
    0
    1
    I tell you brother, Do everything, I mean EVERYTHIG in your power to stop this now!!... Use every single atom of WILL, STRENGH, ENERGY, TACTICS in you to fight this.
    PM is a virus... If only you know the amount of harm this thing cause you, you wouldn't even make it an option..

    Wen I started, day 3 I had a very strong urge, I got the bathroom, I was hard... Then one single queston hit me.. "WOULD U LET A VOICE IN UR HEAD RUIN UR WHOLE LIFE"??

    I paused, remembered all bad stories caused by PM.. I quickly took a cold shower and within a few seconds the urge was gonegone and fam! I came back to my senses again! I became the happiest person on earth cos I of what I conquered that that..

    So Son! Yes the urge can be so strong but believe me... your will is stronger than it..

    So wake up, dont let ur senses out wen ur urge comes in..

    All the best son.
     
  3. SpiritVessel

    SpiritVessel Fapstronaut

    108
    226
    43
    You got this. Keep your motivation in the front of your mind. Eat healthy, exercise, post here often. We’re all here for you; we’re all in this together.
     
  4. willie wonka

    willie wonka Fapstronaut

    17
    14
    3
    Thanks guys, I might start a journey on the nofap forum to help other people out and help myself
     
  5. vitatertot

    vitatertot Fapstronaut

    48
    52
    18
    Treat your porn addict self like a schizophrenic version of yourself. Imagine you have two personalities, and when the Porn guy switches on, you have 0 control. (masturbation is another thing). Put as many blockers in place so that when porn guy comes around, even if you wanted to watch porn with all your will, you literally can't. Put blockers on your phone: if you have an Iphone, have someone put max restrictions on it. If you have an android, that's trickier, I'd honestly recommend selling it and getting a flipphone/iphone. This isn't a short term battle, make investments. Install covenant eyes on all your electronics, and have someone CLOSE to you be an accountability partner. I keep seeing people relapsing in the 3-7 day range: Unless you're a certified sex addict, (like seeing prostitutes every other day and constantly on online chat sites), if your main problem is simply compulsive pornography watching, if you're relapsing more than once a week-2 weeks, the problem is that A: You don't have a strong enough motivation, and B: you don't have any or enough blocks in place. So many people quit porn because they want to feel better and porn makes them feel bad. That may work for a day or so, but the moment you feel like shit and you want to feel better (Your motivation for quitting), porn is going to tell you it's the way to do that, and you'll relapse. Find something OUTSIDE of yourself that makes you want to quit. Don't let it be a girlfriend, or the hope of a girlfriend, because if you get rejected/break up, your motivation is now gone. Find something that you want deep down, and hold onto it. Good luck fighter!
    Love you all
     
    Theone5714 likes this.
  6. willie wonka

    willie wonka Fapstronaut

    17
    14
    3
  7. theMorningSword

    theMorningSword Fapstronaut

    1,103
    670
    113
    Okay, I’m more or less aware of how harmful pmo can be, but I want to know what you have to tell us that can be so bad that it’d make us stop if we knew
     
  8. vitatertot

    vitatertot Fapstronaut

    48
    52
    18
    I'm just going to list a few things. There are much more though.
    Pornography DESTROYS your ability to feel empathy, sympathy, and makes you completely apathetic to other's suffering. Though you may mentally know someone is hurting, you can't really feel for them.

    Everyone says people that watch porn view women as objects. I always objected to that, saying I viewed them as people. Then I quit porn. HOLY COW WAS I WRONG. I viewed women so objectively and inhumanely I feel like I should slap my earlier self until my face was bleeding. Like, you DO NOT realize how little you value other people's lives until you quit.

    You cannot relate or form real relationships with nearly anyone. Even close friends and family. You may be "close", but you never truly will know intimacy, even with male friends, until you quit from this.

    You never have a healthy normal view of sex. This is hard to understand when you're addicted, but the "sex" you think of while you're addicted to porn is literally completely different from normal, intimate sex. You'll understand more when you quit.

    Desensitized penis, your dick will literally be shriveled and tight for days after masturbating. I've found that after a week or so, and continually afterwards, even when flacid, your penis is much larger and natural.
    Your penis will start to feel like any other body part, like a finger, a foot, etc. . . Even though it has a ton of nerve endings, you're not constantly obsessing over it.

    Your ejaculations will be MUCH larger. While I was addicted, my load was normally just a little dribble, or maybe spurting out, not that much. Now, when I do relapse, It's literally shooting a foot or more straight up into the air, and there's so much I didn't think my balls could hold it all. I can't imagine what it would be like during sex. Porn ejacs when you're doing it 1-3 times a week, or multiple times a day, are truly and simply pathetic.

    Orgasms will be much stronger.

    PIED goes away. You start having normal erections from human interaction without fantasizing at all.

    You view yourself much more self-critically and self-consciously when you watch porn. You will be much more self confident when you stop. (This is actually backed up by scientific studies, I wrote a 13 page research paper on it sophomore year of college)

    There's much more I could say, but my laptop is almost dead.

    One other thing to think about. Most of the women you see in porn are being raped, or sex trafficked. Even the "porn stars" that you think are enjoying it, are being fed a constant stream of drugs, coerced, and are being forced into many situations they don't want to be in. There's no way to know if the person you're watching is over 18 or not. Go look at fight the new drug and some of the material they have on the porn industry. It's disgusting. Talk to a female friend, mom, sister, anyone, and ask them what they think of porn, and those who watch it. How they would react/view a significant other if they were watching porn.

    PORNOGRAPHY IS BUILT ON LIES. Educate yourself. See the world for what it truly is.

    All in all, pornography literally makes you pathetic, it socially isolates you, and inhibits your potential. If you want to see how you could really be, make a bet with yourself. Make a 0 tolerance policy for one month. If you go a month and decide that it's not worth quitting, go back to it.
    Bet you 100 bucks you'll decide it's worth quitting.
    Love you guys.
     
    SuperFurryThing likes this.
  9. Steve Daytona

    Steve Daytona New Fapstronaut

    1
    0
    1
    Hi everyone..im new here..i found it really hard to believe i have a problem..but i do..and its very painful...not to be able to control it..control myself..porn n M is so enjoyable..so much fun...such an adventure to open up multiple tabs of different girls...and to click back m forth as i choose which one i want to lust over fr a awhile...aww man..it feels so good in d moment but oh oh oh so bad whn its over...n so with a cigarette it makes d experien e even more..real?..i dont know...i dont smoke but only whn i pmo...i recently got hooked on poppers as it give u that instsnt tremendous rush..feels so intense n amazing..like yr a l m o s t doing her..shes the ONLY thi g on yr mind...but then 10 seconds later u realise yr not..n life comes flodding back in....some times i really want d experience to last more than 10 minutes..so i ice it...n pmo fr 12 to 15 hrs straight...what a treat...but whn d load blows..man oh man..takes me 6 months to recover...not exaggerating literally 6 months to feel back to where i was before d ice night...i dont know why im sharing all this..i guess it feels good to release? To just FINALLY tell some one my dirty little secret....i love it fr 10 mins n hate it for 23hrs 50mins.....so many unrealised dreams was the price paid...not any more though...am pmo free fr exactly 7 days today..sunday...i believe in the power of semen retention m that keeps me going....

    Just wuld.like to find out wht shuld i do
    .wht can i do whem d sex energy gets too intense..how do i channel it out instead of pmo?

    Thanks for reading friends..sorry to unload (excuse d pun)...it realy helped me feel better as i typed it all out..so raw so past..so ancient history...thank you

    Steve Daytona
     

Share This Page