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I broke my porn habit but I still look at women objectifyingly?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by BeachDude1992, Sep 11, 2015.

  1. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    When it's happens to be guys who won't leave you alone! As a women I don't want to be noticed for only my looks. I want to be a person first. Maybe you would understand if you were harassed. It goes past that. I'm pretty sure if you were dating someone would you be okay with your girlfriend ogling most guys that came into view? I hated being that woman, that was a lack of respect towards men and my boyfriend. There's a difference between finding someone attractive and ogling because of years of cultural adaptation and a shitty habit of objectification due to a porn addiction. Women are put on a goddamn pedestal because of looks, it's disturbing.
     
    Just one person and Phyzik like this.
  2. Zerg Prosecutor

    Zerg Prosecutor Fapstronaut

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    I found her attractive indeed, but even if I didn't she couldn't have known that so she took her chance and it is nothing wrong with that...it was nothing over the board or creepy like many examples in the video above. I think there is a limit to catcalling which if you don't cross it, everything is fine. People feel differently about things like this for example one girl which was in my class loved having her ass spanked by some of the guys in the class and sometimes she would even dry hump them...now I bet she didn't have a problem with cat calling...I bet she loved it, on the other hand if I try to grab a girl's ass that is repulsed/disgusted/creeped out etc by this idea I might even get arrested and rightly so...
    Cat-calling affects everyone differently so a boundary for one person doesn't necessarily mean that person next to her has the same boundary but because you never know a strangers boundaries you should assume a mid-level tolerance from him/her. Now if she/him is uncomfortable with it you should back down, if she enjoys it you can even escalate even further.

    WORD.
    @wildwood
     
  3. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Objectification also comes from THOUGHTS.

    Objectification means that you want to USE a woman, instead of SHARING time with her.
     
    ThatOneGuy56 and wildwood like this.
  4. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    I'm pretty perverted with my humor when it comes to friends but I'm pretty sure letting a guy spank my ass and humping them would be a complete no no with my boyfriend. Seems she loves attention rather than being okay with catcalling she clearly was looking for gratification from those dudes, I'm pretty sure my shitty jokes are enough to get some "attention". But hey some of us are committed and don't go around letting people touch them for attention. *cough cough* :D
     
  5. Zerg Prosecutor

    Zerg Prosecutor Fapstronaut

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    I don't understand this proposition.
    This is your standard and I can not have any objections to it, nobody can. You set the standard for yourself but don't expect strangers to magically now this about you...I can give you examples of girls that like being sexually objectified and find it very arousing.
    I think I wouldn't be okay with her ogling other guys! On the other hand I'm fantasizing about me and her ogling other girls at the same time. That would be amazing lol.
    I would argue that sexual objectification has little to nothing to do with porn and everything to do with the relationship between one's parents. If the kid grows up in a healthy loving environment with parents that respect each other no amount of porn will make that person hate or objectify men/women.
     
  6. Zerg Prosecutor

    Zerg Prosecutor Fapstronaut

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    Thoughts cannot hurt anyone and there is nothing immoral or unethical about that.
     
  7. Zerg Prosecutor

    Zerg Prosecutor Fapstronaut

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    You didn't like my perverted jokes thou o_O
    What is killing me is that girl had a crush on me but I never spanked, groped or dry hump her...I was too shy at that time :(. Now I am sticking my fingernails into my throat because I realize with how much I could have gotten away with her :mad:. I don't even know if I will ever have another chance like that in the future...
     
  8. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    I am sexually interested in women but no way IN HELL would I EVER check out other ladies with him. When hell freezes over and when grow a penis sure. But now? Nope. I don't want him fantasizing about threesomes and porn related fantasies which will slow his reboot. Imagine knowing you're girlfriend ogling coworkers, friends, random guys. It hurts to know they don't really think about you, but that's something personal for me. I've always felt not good enough for my boyfriend because of that, I thought gaining the attention men would make me feel better, it did. Temporarily. So having guys ogle me fantasize about me ogle, was something I used like a crutch. When we took a break I went hog wild, sex chats, web cam shows, flirting, flaunting. I wanted to be the girl my boyfriend ogles. I had a toxic self image so attention was what I craved. My sex addiction almost destroyed me and put me in a situation where I was sexually assaulted. So I'm sorry I come off so strong and overly opinionated. It's something I feel strongly about. No hard feelings:p I avoid jokes like that on here, if you ever get to know me you'll find out lol
     
  9. Zerg Prosecutor

    Zerg Prosecutor Fapstronaut

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    If I was involved in a serious relationship I am 99% sure that I will feel the same as you...if I will ever be capable of truly loving and if there will ever be someone who loves me for me and not a fake persona that I would have to put on for her to like me then I think I would only want a relationship with her...thou I am quite skeptical this will ever happen.
    Until then I would rather be ogled and seen as a sexual object by women that I find attractive and I would not hesitate to profit from their lust for me every time I could.
    I think that this is a sign of low self esteem and what you did is not how you solve it. Low self-esteem comes from lack of self-love and lacking strong personal boundaries I think.
    I did not read all your posts but the ones I did read did not bother me at all.
     
  10. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    It's different now, I respect myself. I do things for me, I will never resort to that toxic behavior. I am no ones sex toy, empty sex is sex that leaves you lonely. Especially when one sided. But hey who knows what the future holds, I believe in consenting adults doing something they enjoy as long as no gets hurt.
     
  11. Christopher Palmieri

    Christopher Palmieri Fapstronaut

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    Hmmm. I like oogled as well to a point i guess.. It's weird. IF we are both knowing we are checking each other out its nice. Still It can get awkward if a lady stares at me too long so yea... Actually IF we both staring, I will almost always start a conversation. My guess is that oogle is natural for a second or 2. Then u should talk 2 the person after. That's why we feel awkward a lot of time. Also consider insecure porno addict? Hes oogling her but doesn't know how 2 talk 2 her... sick stuff. And hes trained to think of ladies like tits and ass so it makes sense IMO.
     
  12. Christopher Palmieri

    Christopher Palmieri Fapstronaut

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    @wildwood
    U have no idea how happy I am to hear a woman realise this =). There isa girl i used 2 be in love with and now friends... Shit I think she is doing that now... Shes invited me for a 3some and I said no... and she sent me a random text that was total outta character for her about 1 night stand with me with lots of dirty talk. Any female insight here plz? PH ya she jsut broke with her BF TOO!!!!
     
  13. Zerg Prosecutor

    Zerg Prosecutor Fapstronaut

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    If I was not rebooting I would have not missed that chance...
     
  14. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    Trying to stop that habit when you're finally in a relationship is hell, which is why I believe it's good to gets handle on it before hand. But if it's mutual and you're single well that works.
     
  15. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    It will most definitely will not be like your hentais, just letting you know. Threesomes are about stamina for a guy who can multitask and keep both women happy. Can you ba a male porn star? Well those are paid sex workers. And in a hentai? It's drawn up. Never expect it to be like porn. It's not.
     
  16. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Thoughts are the beginning of all our actions.

    In this forum, it is not about moral or ethic, it is about PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT. How do you want to spend your lifetime? How do you want to use your energy?

    So, if you want to improve, you need to begin with your thoughts.
     
    wildwood likes this.
  17. Zerg Prosecutor

    Zerg Prosecutor Fapstronaut

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    Maybe I will have enough stamina after my reboot for this who knows...other than that everything is learnable.
    I don't know but I wish I could.
    Hentai is ten times better than porn when it comes to sex scenes and situations.
    If I won't be able to act out my hentais at least I want to bang the girls while watching hentai together...I believe it cannot be that hard to find someone who will do that.
     
  18. Zerg Prosecutor

    Zerg Prosecutor Fapstronaut

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    Nothing forces you to act on your thoughts! It is always a choice.
    That being said I want to learn from you what you mean by thoughts that one should eradicate from his mind...give me some examples.
     
  19. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    I'm pretty sure hentai is just animated porn. And having sex while watching porn will make her feel like she isn't good enough. You have a long way to go. How are you going to be pmo free if you want to watch porn during sex? Dude, good luck on your journey.
     
  20. Zerg Prosecutor

    Zerg Prosecutor Fapstronaut

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    If she will say that she doesn't want to do it I won't force her but what I am thinking is that I will try to find a girl that is into this idea just as much as I am.
    I don't want to be PMO free, I love orgasmimg to a good hentai but unfortunately I believe I suffer from PIED because all of this porn over the years...so for me being able to have sex is more important than hentai/porn so this is why I am rebooting...if I will be able to reboot and still watch porn without negative consequences afterwards this would be the best case scenario for me...
     

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