I am sorry

and I too am sorry for how awful this all is... sending warm thoughts

 

- I am sorry that you think you have to be perfect to be desirable
- I am not sorry that you have a body (How dare you not be photoshopped in real life, the horrors!)
- I am not sorry that you didn't train to be a contortionist
- I am sorry that someone's addiction makes you feel less beautiful than you are
- I am not sorry that you are calling out someone's addictive behaviours and the consequences
- I am not sorry that you are you (with all the porn stars out there, I think we might need more of you and me)
- I am sorry that someone makes you feel that you have to be something that isn't real
- I am NOT sorry that you exist

 

I admit, I have felt this way many times...like my SO's porn addiction was my fault and the fact that I couldn't /can't pull him out of it is a reflection on me, my body, and my character. I know it might take a few people and time for you believe these words but: ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. I can't stress this enough.
PA's make the decisions they make on their own. If you have ever heard the PA blame you or make it sound like their porn use was the consequence of something you did or didn't do, this is absolute bogus. I often think half the time that they do not know why they do it, and thus they throw any sort of rationalization out there that they can to continue on their path.
Please don't cry to yourself behind closed doors and entertain those destructive thoughts; it does no good. Its fine to acknowledge the emotions and thoughts, but don't let them run you. I made this mistake for a long time and only when I stopped crying about it could I effectively articulate my feelings to my PA. This is when change starts to occur. My PA has become much more open with me since I do not burst into tears as soon as he mentions it and I don't become a burning ball of rage. In other words, you can't support them until you can support yourself.

You are NOT sorry for not being good enough, your PA is sorry for making you feel worthless. This is how it should be.

 

I am sorry we all had to end up here to get some support because instead of having the real relationships we all thought we had, our partners were in "bed" with screens....

I am not sorry I got a chance to know all of you, because I think you are all wonderful...
And I am so sorry you all went through this too.

 

Hugs to you, @Penelope - you're absolutely awesome.

Don't let anyone tell you any differently.

 

Stay strong, I understand how you feel right now. Please remember it's not your fault.

S

 

Give yourself compassion and take pride in being who and how you are. None of us are perfect, nor should we strive to be. Neither should we apologize for being anything we are not. Instead, know that you are 100% exactly what you should be today and do not compete with artificiality. I hope you find peace within and try to have a better day today than yesterday.