I am a failure

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Ghost79, May 8, 2019.

  1. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I understand what you mean but I cannot have any woman! Its an impossible task to find a woman for me.
    I feel calm and alright with myself but this doesn't matter to women. Women all judge me on my first appearance. Women are very shallow, sometimes even more then men.
     
  2. Beaker

    Beaker Fapstronaut

    Brother...KEEP FIGHTING!!! Please KEEP FIGHTING!!! You win by just getting out of bed and getting on with the day, regardless of how the day turns out. We only lose when we give up. Don't give up. Don't ever give up!!
     
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  3. Boskiman

    Boskiman Fapstronaut

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    Nah. Even if you said only 0.01% of all women on earth would be interested on you that would still be ~371029 women on earth interested on you, enough to fill three Camp Nou stadiums and still there are left over a lot. Imagine three full Camp Nous with women all of them wanting to kiss you, just that. Men are not only looks for women anyways, as they are the attitude and body language they show to a woman too.

    Telling you "Heck just do it, japanese man in motivational video says so dammmm" may be nice but it won't help you to find a solution to your problem anyways so, my advice -- what worked for me --, try reading PUA stuff if you seriously want to know how to get with a lady (Game by Roosh V is good to start). For sure your problem is not looks but that you don't how to interact with women in the correct way; I've seen a lot of really ugly men (looking like chimps, literally) with way too beautiful women, so if they could you will. PUA stuff will help you with knowing how attraction works and how to maximize your chance of getting a lady that is decent looking and that you like; no matter the looks but your attitude.
     
  4. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I don't have a bad body language or attitude. Actually alot women do find me a pleasant guy once they get to know me but I had a few dates that told me they liked to hang out with me but they didn't feel any attraction towards me, simply because I'm too ugly for them.
    And even if 0.01% of women would be interested in having a relationship with me, but would I? I would not settle with any woman you know. I have my standards too, but they are not too high or anything.
     
  5. Drax_of_Burton

    Drax_of_Burton Fapstronaut

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    Mate, many of us have felt this way at one time or another. But remember this.

    There is a difference between 'I have failed' and 'I am a failure'.

    Anyone can fail. We all do, in some way, at some time in our lives. You don't become 'a failure' until you stop getting back up and trying again.

    40 is nothing. I know guys who became dads well into their 50s.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2019
    Ghost79 likes this.
  6. Boskiman

    Boskiman Fapstronaut

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    If you're "too ugly" then try maximizing your looks the best. Dress well, have a good hygiene, comb your hair and do exercise to reduce body fat and increase muscle if you haven't.
    Still I would recommend you reading "Game" by RooshV just to see what you could learn from it, do as you wish though but keep going on. Your ideal mate may appear soon, who knows? Just be prepared in case it happens.
     
    Ghost79 likes this.
  7. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Its scary how you people don't realize how hopelessly ugly I am. I barely have any hair left, I am already athletic and work out several times in a week so no space for improvement there. I have seen some work by Roosh and several other pick up artists too but nothing has managed to by pass my ugly handicap that is my face!
     
  8. Drax_of_Burton

    Drax_of_Burton Fapstronaut

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    I don't have much hair left on top either, so I just shave it. Looks fine, and it's easy to maintain. No messing around styling it. Don't like your face? Try growing a beard. It will change your look quite a lot.
     
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  9. Marvelgurl23

    Marvelgurl23 Fapstronaut

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    I think you are telling yourself the wrong narrative. What you are thinking about yourself now is becoming your reality and you need to change the way you see yourself. See this as a chance to take care of yourself, and love yourself because even in a relationship no one will truly love you the way you love yourself. Its so important to work on this part first before doing anything else in your life. Believe you can do it and have faith its not wrong to start anew.
     
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  10. Boskiman

    Boskiman Fapstronaut

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    Try going full bald then as said before me.

    Have you gone to a place where you could do better anyways? Maybe trying to join a church to find a woman who is searching for a husband might work for you.
     
  11. Eyalsi

    Eyalsi New Fapstronaut

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    I have failed more times than I can even count, I have never kissed, and I never had a serious relationship in my life.
    You can't give up no matter how hard it gets. We will succeed in the end.
     
    Beaker likes this.
  12. Wolf2019

    Wolf2019 Fapstronaut

    You have me so curious, I want to see what you look like now!

    I'm going to make a great generalization that does not always hold true in individual cases, but generally speaking, women have an enormous capacity to love men despite what they look like or how they act. Even in situations where a man is quite a bit older or has some disfigurement or disability. There is a nurturing side to many women that is willing to care for a man who might be rejected for some reason by others. It is also true that there are an enormous number of women who do not meet society's unrealistic standards of beauty and get overlooked, although they have gorgeous minds and hearts and loving, generous spirits.

    You may not find a woman like that in a bar or on a beach or someplace where people are showing off what they look like, and looking at what other people look like. But you might find her working. Volunteering. Taking (or teaching) a college class. In a place of worship. In a support group. Caring for her children (as a single or divorced mom or widow).

    My advice to you is to work on the things that make you beautiful inside -- developing your mind and your spirit. Working responsibly. Treating everyone with dignity and respect, male and female alike. Being kind and generous to everyone. Serving and being compassionate to others without expecting anything in return. You are going to attract the eye of a woman who is looking for that kind of man. And she is going to be that kind of woman, who will be faithful and loving to you for a lifetime, not someone who will abandon you when you get truly old, because she never came to you in the first place based on who you are on the outside, but who you are on the inside.

    If you are truly so hideous that people run screaming from you before they can get to know you, then online dating might be a way to get to know someone at an intellectual and emotional level before seeing each other in person.
     
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  13. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    Remember that your looks (as a man) doesn't matter to women that much as long as you look healthy and take care of your personal hygiene. It is rather your confidence, social skills, energetic vibes and ability to make them laugh and feel good that will make them attracted. Simply because women are emotional creatures and attracted much more to what turns their emotions on rather than visual stimuli which is the case for men. Hence, that might be why 80% of men are turned on by porn when they watch it as opposed to only 20% of women. Men are hardwired to visual stimuli (i.e. looks) which can be projected through a computer-screen whereas emotions cannot. They have to be felt in the real world.

    Many men these days are fed the myth that women are turned on by looks just as men, hence thinking they are too ugly to attract a beautiful woman. I was myself one of them and it took me many years to realize that wasn't the case as those women who (at some point) felt some kind of attraction to me did so as a result of me sparking something in their emotional senses, not my looks.
     
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  14. therealthing

    therealthing New Fapstronaut

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    Never give up! Your whole life can change in a year if you stay persistent and KEEP GOING life isn’t over yet! There’s somebody out here for everybody and your never gonna find that special someone if you give up! Keep moving forward and put yourself in the position to meet new women. If you try 50 women at least 5 will give you the time of day!
     
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  15. 1313

    1313 Fapstronaut

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    Brother, no one in the world is ugly. It's the stupidness of human beings. Learn from your mistakes, and keep on improving yourself as a person as well your skills. Life is an amazing experience which is only a one time edition. Don't let it be wasted.
     
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  16. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Very positive and inspiring responses here :) Thanks everyone!
    But you know my old colleagues used to call me scarecrow behind my back and some even joked hoping I would never have children because of it.
    That is my reality. I feel hunted and an outcast. But inspite all this I still try to speak to women in life and keep continuing on date sites.
     
  17. properWood

    properWood Fapstronaut

    You're 40 and bald, as far I understand. In which other way do you see yourself as being ugly? Acne? I've had sever cystic acne until a few weeks ago and I am 37, I basically have craters on my face from that and yet... Plus lazy eye, quite visible too. Even while having the acne and with this lazy eye and quite skinny, I was still attracting women.

    You must have seen at least one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Picard, the captain there, is played by Patrick Stewart, who became bald at 19 years old. And, yet, he's revered as one great actor and has not complained about not getting women.

    I believe the ugliness is in your head only. I doubt any girl would have said they "didn't feel any attraction towards me, simply because I'm too ugly for them", I believe "simply because I'm too ugly for them" is constructed in your head. No sane woman would have be saying that to anyone, so if any of them said it then it's probably for the better.

    Work on accepting your flaws, no one is perfect. Some guys may have a perfect skin, square jaw and a lot of hair, but they will definitely lack somewhere else. I have confidence issues, so I tend to look at myself in the mirror for longer periods of time, either looking myself in the eye (self confidence), or just looking at every square inch of my body (accepting my physical "flaws").

    Don't despair, life can change dramatically and for the better in less than a few months! :)
     
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