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Hubs masturbated in child's room! Wtf?!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Worried Wifey, Mar 17, 2017.

  1. Worried Wifey

    Worried Wifey New Fapstronaut

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    Hubs is in recovery for porn addiction. We have a young son together and hubs usually handles his bedtime so that I can catch up on housework. He admitted that last year (pre-discovery) during about 3 months, he waited for our child to fall sleep and then looked at porn on his phone (with the sound turned off). On 3 to 6 occassions he said he would go to the other side of the room and masturbate to the porn while standing up. He used the baby's supply of diapers and wipes to clean himself up afterwards. I know that porn addiction may mean masturbating in inappropriate places but I can NOT wrap my head around this. I'm sick to my stomach. I want hubs to continue his sobriety and recovery but I also want to take my child and run far away. I don't know what to do.
     
    Star Lord likes this.
  2. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    Very odd place to do it for sure.
    Why couldn't he simply go into the bathroom.

    I don't really know what to say. This is a psychiatrists department I think.
     
    Deleted Account and NoBrainer like this.
  3. IGY

    IGY Guest

    It is hard for you to imagine the desperation an addiction creates - gambling, drugs, alcohol, porn and masturbation. They take over a person's normal cognitive functioning. It is like, your 'hubs' is not fully present when he is in the sway of his addiction. It is like the addiction takes on the role of an actual person. That 'person' does not care where this takes place, just the fact that it must take place. When the opportunity arises, a kind of auto-pilot takes over. But that 'person' i.e. the addiction, is not your husband. It is from this that he needs to recover. It will take much love and support for him to do so.
     
  4. Yeah I agree. LUST makes persons do crazy, weird, disgusting, stupid stuff they would never do. It's the nature of the beast called addiction.
    From my personal experience, I... This is so hard to admit. Huh....
    I m'd facedown on a hotel bed while sleeping next to a friend who was asleep. He does not know. Now that I'm in recovery I look back everytime I remember and I feel sick to my stomach and disgusted with myself. All for a few seconds of "pleasure". I was such a sick, lil pervert. Regrets, regrets, regrets.
     
  5. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    This Is True .
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. go!

    go! Fapstronaut

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    Please, don't run away. If he told you that - it means he really loves you and cares about your life together. He is fighting.

    I can try to explain:
    He probably has been addicted for very long and messed up his neurocircuits hard. He is aware of what happens, and most likely is in ok comtrol of other aspects of life, but when it comes to addiction - he is not into control. And it makes him feel guilty too, it makes him feel miserable. And then a Vicious circle of PMO-guilt-PMO starts. The good thing this CAN be healed 100%.

    Take my examples. I was the same in a way.

    1) Previously, I have been smoking for 10 years. And few times in my life when I had literally no money to by a pack of cigaretts, I was wandering the streets and picking up used cigaretts, just to smoke up the last part of them. It felt just disgusting, I thought to be a worst person in the world. 3 years I struggled With that addiction and now I have not been smoking for 6 years (not a single cigarette!)
    2) PMO. This has also been an issue for me. Sometimes I used my cellfone to do it when hicking... in the forest. Now I stay free (2 years of fighting and my current streak is 37). And apart of all the benefits I have noted is that I fell to love my wife more then ever.


    Of course it is up to you what to decide, and it very much Depends on how you feel. What my point was is that what has happened -it is not because Your husband is a freak or so. He is just sick. He is sick With an unrecognized disease. And it can og away, and if it happens - you will live with a totally different person, that it aware of his weaknesses, a person used to fight with himself, struggling to be better. What would mean a much much more present, loving and caring husband.
     
    yellow flowers likes this.
  7. TheChristian

    TheChristian New Fapstronaut

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    While I wouldn't suggest just running away, I am against the level of support being shown here. I am sympathetic to the cause of your husband, and I'm glad he's being honest, but what he is doing, especially if it escalates further, could negatively affect the child for the rest of its life. There are certain behaviors that are completely unacceptable, even to a recovering addict (being addicted to killing people and "slipping up" would be an obvious example), and that needs to be made very clear to him, that there will be consequences. He could become a registered sex offender for what he is doing. ZERO TOLERANCE.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. HPE

    HPE Fapstronaut

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    " Through thick and thin"! It's very courageous of your husband that he told u the truth! I think he's really trying his best to overcome his addicton and he's certainly doing that because he loves u and he doesn't want to lose u! Instead of running away u should instead give him all of your support and help him fight his demon! If you run away now he will relapse and be more addicted than ever!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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