How to you reverse 20 years of porn addiction?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Namekian23, Jun 10, 2019.

  1. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    It’s been several months since my last post…And I want to share some of my thoughts of what’s going on in my life. As of now, I’m starting to wonder: How the hell can I quit my addiction? It’s hard enough as it is, and I need some kind of inspiration. It’s been 20+ long years, and I’m starting to see the negative consequences of this addiction. My relationships with women has never been the best, I have a lot stress and pressure in my life, and every day I’m starting to wonder if this will ever end. However, I try to keep myself busy and thought of moving out of my house to get away from all of the stress. But like I said: How to do reverse 20+ plus years of porn addiction? I want to end it, but for some reason, I don’t have enough desire yet. What will it take for me to quit?!
     
  2. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    It all comes down to you. No one can do it for you. Make the decision and just stop. It's not that hard. I have nearly 2 decades of daily PMO binges behind me. If I was able to stop, so can you. Set long term goal YOU want to achieve and some short term goals (not too many 2-3 max) and start working towards them to occupy your mind. Accept the pain in advance. Suffering is part of life. And you will suffer big time, all the shit you've been escaping from with PMO will come to hunt you. That's why it's important to mentally prepare yourself in advance. Acute withdrawal symptoms can be brutal, but FU psych stuff comes after being few months in reboot. Figure out what is bothering you and work to resolve it. Do "monk mode" for 3-4 months at least. 6-11 would be even better as this is how long it takes for brain to totally normalize. Be mindful not to develop some new addiction when abstaining. If you slip move on immediately no relapse BS. Full blown relapse is a real progress killer. That's how I've been fighting it but it's just my 2 cents so take it with a grain of salt.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2019
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  3. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    I think finding what’s causing the PMO is a start, which I already have. Most of it comes from stress at my home. I get along with my family members just fine; it’s just the pressure and burden that I had to deal with growing up (family expectations, cultural traditions, etc.) that’s the problem. Therefore, I use porn as an escape to numb the pain. Since this is one of the reasons why I binge so much, I need to find some isolation for a time being. I did mention moving out, and that’s probably my first step towards ending my porn addiction. If I can get away from the stress of my family upbringing, then I can focus on myself even more. As of now, nothing seems to be working, so this seems like the next option.
     
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  4. bluered

    bluered Fapstronaut

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    I never thought this was possible honestly at first.. I used to have stints or streaks of like a week or two at most.. At one time I was able to go a full month then I relapsed.
    I discovered NoFap this year. And I was glad there was such a community as this.. So I read everything Alexander wrote and then began my challenge. I fell and fell until I was able to go one full month and then I relapsed. I felt bad. However, I saw people like me here who have gone 90 full days monk mode!
    I still remember vividly.. That if this people could do it.. Then I can!
    I'm a few days from celebrating my first ninety free days mhen! I feel I have driven the habit away.. I don't struggle with the habit.. I live free.. Even though I still have thoughts. I have determined for the rest of my life.. I'm not in this anymore.. Mind you.. I've been struggling with this for 10 good years. It is reversible!
     
  5. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I guess everybody's situation is a little different. I personally haven't met anybody in this whole community that has dealt with the same struggles that I have. When you're from a different culture with a different background, it's difficult to understand the hardships growing up. And maybe that's why certain people PMO for certain reasons. On the other hand, it's good to know that there are some similarities between you and I, as well as other people in this community. I have a question for you though. What is it that drives you to PMO? Because I'm sure everyone has a reason.
     
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  6. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    When you get desperate to quit, you will find a way. When it becomes your number one priority in life to break the chains, you will do so. My hope for you is that the day these things become true would arrive soon!

    Get an AP or three via this site. Get honest with them about where you're at. You can often do in community what you cannot do on our own. Cut yourself off from P no matter what it takes.

    The answers are simple to understand, but they are not easy to walk out!
     
  7. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    Well, I’ll be the first to agree with you. I have European background and I can say that PMO was based partly on my family and their expectations, always felt low around my cousins because they were older and never let me join them in much of anything.. I am on a pretty good streak but probably became a I was never too addicted for so many years because I kept a job and was still trying to socialize. I just could never get into a relationship which has hurt me but I am trying slowly to Fox that now. Stop the PMO and move out and be independent if you can and things will change for you.
     
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  8. bluered

    bluered Fapstronaut

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    well, things that drove me to pmo were varied.. They can be thoughts.. 'those thoughts', watching a movie where there are erotic scenes, seeing a beautiful lady, depression, failures, idleness, chatting with a beautiful girl online.. And some other things I may not recall now.
    the bottom line is I was neck deep in this stuff.. And I always wanted to end it.. It almost destroyed me bro.. I'm determined. It wasn't a one off thing. I still have temptations.. But I think it's a habit I have pushed out of the door. Everyday is a struggle.. But I must keep winning.
     
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  9. bluered

    bluered Fapstronaut

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  10. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah you're right. At this point, it's not only becoming desperate, but more of dealing with the frustration than anything else. I'm just so sick and tired of dealing with this addiction. The worst thing about it is my interaction with women. I have zero confidence in myself and I've been hurt one too many times; I just don't know how to communicate with them. As for getting an AP, I doubt that I can find someone worthy enough. I've tried countless of times, and they've all bailed out on me...Therefore, I've decided to use this community as my support, but ultimately, quit this addiction on my own.
     
  11. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    I think moving out is the best thing for me right now. In fact, my parents are in the process of helping me out. As for being a family member, I was born as the oldest of 4 boys. And coming from an Asian background, it's a lot of pressure for one person. Sometimes I wished I was never burdened with such responsibilities; not to mention this stress and pressure led me to having a meltdown. And to make matters worse, having a mental health disorder doesn't help.

    Other than that, what you're doing now is something I'm trying to achieve as well. Relationships were my biggest challenge despite the fact that I was mostly successful in other areas of my life. I've been hurt and disappointed countless of times, but over the years, I've realized that I had to work on myself in order for someone to love me. If I could reach that point in my life, a girlfriend/wife would come naturally. The funny thing is, I always tell myself that, but I keep falling into the same pattern which always led to another disappointment or failure. As of now, I just gotta keep reminding myself over and over again until it permanently sinks into the back of mind.
     
  12. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    Everyday is a struggle for me too, and everyone has a reason to PMO. Mine is for escaping from my family expectations and my personal failures with women than anything else. I feel your pain man, but that's why I think we have this community. We all must keep winning, not just you and I...
     
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  13. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

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    You will do it bro! Just keep those goals in front you and you will do great things! Just continue pushing your limits as we will grow that way and stay on nofap, exercise and eat right. Enjoy the summer, not sure where you are at in America or another country to that. I am going to save a good down payment to the end of this year and will be moving out after this year. Have to make that move even though how anxious it can make me. You will be surprised at what you can do when you put your mind and heart to it. You are stronger than you believe when you know you want to change what is wrong in your life.
     
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  14. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    You have to develop a new mindset that porn is a thing of the past while going cold turkey(harmode). Then taking baby steps as counting by 1 week to take out a lil pressure on the days. As you keep going further, you will gain momentum. Your willpower will strengthen each day while at the same time give your brain new stuff(healthy habits) to build new neurons pathway. Taking action to fight this porn virus will also backing up your willpower. You have to really want it and fight for it.
    Good Luck man!
     
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