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How to talk to wamen

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by nef, Feb 7, 2019.

  1. Wait, you're a wamen? Thanks for contributing your advice to the thread by the way, I know nothing (they call me Jon Snow) so I try to learn from experienced people as much as I can, especially from the enigmatic other half

    Also, scenario for ya: If you were in a relationship with a guy who you have been with for a couple years, and he doesn't pay mind to your emotional needs (basically only does activities he wants to do, never listens to you, but does provide financially), what would you do?
     
    0111zerozero11 likes this.
  2. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    I am a proud wamen.

    Contributing helps my healing.

    For scenarios, search Cakeinacrisis & start from the beginning ;)
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Welp, I searched your thread....it is very disappointing hearing about people like that, but excellent work on taking back the reigns! The process of overcoming emotional challenges is never clean or easy, but it is something that has to be done. The reason I asked my initial question was because I have a pseudo-friend (we aren't conventional friends, but she opens up to me when we do talk for some reason) who is in a relationship that looks like the beginning of the relationship you described (she has a narcissistic and controlling boyfriend). I would like to help her, but I know better than to get involved in other people's personal business and situations.

    Ah well, what do I know, I'm just a student. Nice chatting with you, 115 :emoji_alien:
     
  4. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Yeah man, 6 months ago I would've given you a list of 100 things to help someone in a narcissistic situation but now, I can only offer this advice: stay grounded for this person. Do your own research on the actual disorder. Be patient. The friend will do what they want, so abandon all attempts at trying to talk sense into them. They will know when they know.

    Just be a friend. A really dependable, empathetic friend.

    Good luck, student 115 alien man
     
  5. Lordofthewings

    Lordofthewings New Fapstronaut

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    You need to talk to yourself first and by that i mean you need to ask yourself "do i approach and if it didn't work out regret for a couple of minutes or i stay away and regret my whole life?" Talking to people is easy when you are you if your goal is to have a friend then being genuine is the key but if your goal is to have a love interest then be genuine and take it slow(flirt later not directly) its simple if you have a mentality of all or nothing(as in i go and give it my best or i just don't give it anything)
     
  6. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    You are the type of creature why i am going to enjoy humanity unil i am ded. Whatever gender you are, you seem to be a lot of fun to be around. I see why you say that you used to be super approachable. Let's just assume you are a wamen.
    In that case, i'd guess that someone found the right fishing lure, probably attached with a mix of humer, honesti and chocolate. Probably mostly chocolate tho.
     
    0111zerozero11 likes this.
  7. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Yo, may I write this on a Valentine's card & give it to myself?

    I'm a humbled wamen

    Thank you
     
    Jal Say and ReclaimedLife like this.
  8. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    A very hambled wamen.
    Don't forget to give youself a hug when you deliver the Card.
    And some chocolate.
    Chocolate works best on the belly and the neck btw.
    I heard.
    From... Santa.
    Yeah. Let's go with Santa.
     
    Jal Say and 0111zerozero11 like this.
  9. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Hambled wamen mach parplaxed.

    I friggin crack myself up.

    Good talk
     
  10. nef

    nef Fapstronaut

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    What the Frick ? This post is way off the topic
     
  11. JB333

    JB333 Fapstronaut

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    I think confidence is a big part of it. It almost doesn't matter what you say, as long as you say it with confidence - you can say something completely stupid, but if you hold eye contact and wait for them to respond, they'll pick up the convo and off you go. If it's noisy, talk loud. Better to be too loud than have them not hear you and make you feel ignored.

    Because I'm not great at talking to women, I mostly ask questions and just actively listen, jumping in when I can relate to what they're talking about. If you can get to there it should be easy. Again, the questions can and even should be stupid, that's how a lot of conversations start. If you know anything about them start with that, like where they work etc.. If not, say something related to where you both are.

    Also don't be afraid to talk about your life once she starts asking questions back - but don't launch into your entire life story! I hate talking about myself but it's necessary.

    I used to overanalyse all my conversations with girls and beat myself up over saying stupid things but now I hardly remember what I've said to them, it's the relationship and building of confidence that's important, not necessarily what words you used.
     
  12. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    Wat de hek is a women? I think u mde a sp3lling m1stak3.
     
    Jal Say, nef, JB333 and 1 other person like this.
  13. RamboErecto

    RamboErecto Fapstronaut

    yo duds, delivering some help here:
    my english sucks, very sorry.

    im 30 y/o
    I just wasted my 10s, 20s trying to understand how to talk to wamen, feeling so alone, feeling that beautiful wamen is not for me.
    You know, i had this thing called "dont know how to flirt", feeling so imbecile and inept in my way to flirt with woman, reading books of "alphas" full of lies.

    Until i realized that theres not such a thing as "alpha" or "flirting". I realized this ending my 20s

    Atract wamen happens by itself, you dont need even skill to do it.
    Consider flirt and have sex with woman as a consequence of something.
    When you have wamen around you, your spirit will work by himself in order to flirt, anyway is the wamen that do the most work, not you.

    But why you are trying to do work instead of let them do it? because is something wrong with you. Thats right, you hate yourself more or less, and dont feel confortable or powerful with wamens around.

    This is not changing from a day to another, but you need to start take care of yourself in order to wamen do all the work for you.
    If you feel unconfortable or dont know what to say to wamen, the problem is not her or your flirting skills: is yourself be unhappy and feeling powerless.

    yes, love yourself and take care of yourself: Just need to pretty out and be around them feeling nice. A man feeling nice, that is all wamen wants, and they see the world with a big emptiness of that ones. Wamen see you feeling great, wamen do the work.

    If you feel nice, flirting will happen by default.

    your boy Rambo will give you an exercise to take care of yourself (this is almost an instant boost for feel fine to me):

    Get naked and take a bath, then clean your thooth and cut your nails. Take care of your facial hair (beard and eyebrows, use a scissors). Then, use antiperspirant, use fcking cream in your face, use perfume. Then go and pick your clothes, maybe you are using too old clothes that is making you feel sedentary and outdated (happened to me), so for now take clothes that you like, use the mirror to mix it up, until you get what you want.

    You should think about buy a watch, buy bracelets, rings, glasses, whatever you want.

    So you are now clean. Facehair is prolix and your face looks tanned, your smile is clean, your clothes combine fine, your eyebrows matchs fine and you smell damn good.

    Go outside for a walk or go with friends, check the profitability. You will feel different, you will feel fine.
    Then, if there is some wamen, you can check the profitability as well. You will feel less anxious and fine, because you are looking great, yes, you just taked care of your body.
    Theres a lot of things that you can do for yourself. The more you do for you, the more work wamen will do.

    But if you do, if you are feeling fine and great, the most ridiculous beauty wamens definitely will doing the work for you. Worked for me, and i was a guy that never fucks.
    Theres a lot you can do to make feel you happy.
    So now go and take care of business. And let fucking wamen do the work when they are close to you. Wamen will see you like a pretty happy guy. Wamen will love you.

    Love yourself man, do things for you.

    Then a new responsability comes with this: dont be a douchebag with them
    But if you hate yourself, wamen will hate you, and will never love you. So, take care of yourself.

    Hope this helps
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2019
  14. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    :emoji_upside_down::emoji_upside_down::emoji_upside_down:

    Define "Skill".
     
    0111zerozero11 likes this.
  15. EXPONENTIALLY

    EXPONENTIALLY Fapstronaut

    You let them go talk to you. :emoji_raising_hand:
     
    nef likes this.
  16. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    Not working.They always scream "GO AWAY I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" or "HELP POLICE!", or just use pepperspray. Sometimes in that order. Mostly actually.

    But no worries

     
    nef likes this.
  17. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    This is the problem with most people. They want the perfect method / action / words to get a perfect outcome. That perfectionism of wanting a guaranteed outcome before taking action is what procrastination is all about.

    It's a simple reality we live in where a person can interact with another person. It's your own flawed beliefs and fears that complicates the matter. You believe that you're not supposed to get rejected, make mistakes, or fail at this. Reality says that not everyone will be interested in you just as you're not going to be interested in everyone. Reality says not everything works out in life. Reality says you have to be insecure and incompetent throughout many attempts before you can attain competence and confidence at something that's beyond your current experience and comfort zone. So when you resist how reality works with how you think things are supposed to be (perfectionism)... that's why you're afraid and hesitating... because you don't want that fantasy / fragile ego / comfortable bubble that you're living in to ever break. Since you don't want those things to break, you'll never grow and improve.

    I could tell you "just go talk to her... she's a flawed human being just like everyone else... you'll get better with experience"... but then you would just reply with ".... but how do I talk to her?" Because that fear of failure and perfectionism is so ingrained inside of you. You're too soft and conditioned to live in a world where you avoid pain, problems, and negative experiences. A life where you escape into a cycle of constant and numbing instant gratification. You condition yourself to never face difficulty and uncertainty.

    There's no perfect method / action / words. There's no guarantees. Your procrastination was just a way for you to avoid the possibility of negative experiences. You don't lose, but you also don't win. You just stay comfortable and keep waiting for the perfect method to use at the perfect moment with the perfect opportunity where you know that you are guaranteed success. That's not reality. Break that fantasy world if you ever want to grow beyond your inability to talk to someone that you feel attracted to.

    What do I say to women that I'm attracted to?

    "Hi."
     
    Christian Fox, nef, JB333 and 2 others like this.
  18. RamboErecto

    RamboErecto Fapstronaut

    the ability to do something well; expertise.
    "difficult work, taking great skill"
     
  19. nef

    nef Fapstronaut

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    Well that's a lot of information
     
  20. See, talking to women may be one of the easiest thing on earth, its not difficult... From the way you asked this question i sense lack of confidence as you can not maintain eye contact with women, the only way to improve at communicating with women is YOU. And by you i mean, work on yourself, take care of yourself, there's something about you that is blocking you from connecting to women, and how can you connect with women when you can't even maintain eye contact. And there's isn't any perfect word or a script to start talking to women there's is no a "place" where to begin, you simply approach and open your mouth and talk, it is as simple as that... to really help you i'd like you to read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glove, it may help you i hope so
     
    ReclaimedLife likes this.

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