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How to not give a fuck about other's opinions?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by dragonslayer, Jan 26, 2018.

  1. dragonslayer

    dragonslayer Fapstronaut

    I know that we are social beings, and others opinions reflect what we should do and what we should not, kind of like a feedback system in place to guide us. But the excess of anything is bad. Sometimes we got to just listen to our heart and mind and not give a fuck about what others will think about it.

    But when putting it to practice, it seems really hard. Maybe it is responsibility that comes with a decision that you take alone or against people around you. The old fear of being a cast-out from the society or group.

    Any tips on how to not care about other's opinion without being too rude?
     
    pezzer likes this.
  2. kayesem

    kayesem Fapstronaut

    Yeh that's the one. In a tribal setting, it means almost certain, imminent death. At least it probably used to. It was the worst punishment, and carried over into what is now the industrial prison system/s.

    I agree that it is hard. It all depends on the context, really.

    I think acknowledging people and caring more about their feelings than their specific thoughts can be helpful. Sometimes you will be interpreted as being rude, when you are simply being honest and direct, which people can often not be used to.

    Some people just spend their lives being offended by everything and taking it all personally, and if there is no drama they seek to manufacture it out of thin air. But if you, yourself can stay present and remember that nothing is ever personal, and nothing is ever serious, so don't take things personally and don't take things seriously, that can be very helpful. It helps to be a little detached and to respond, rather than react, to situations and others.

    It seems self centred, but you can really only ever hope to look after your own mind, your emotional states of being, and accept that you cannot control what others think and feel. Just try not to be a cunt, and get on with minding your own business.
     
    dragonslayer, Knighthawk and pezzer like this.
  3. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    It's about giving a fuck about the right things. Value your own thoughts and feelings more. Value the opinions of people that you respect and admire rather than taking the opinions of everyone personally. If you have a strong sense of self worth, desires, thoughts, feelings, intentions, etc, then you wouldn't be easily swayed by random opinions.
     
    dragonslayer, kayesem and pezzer like this.
  4. I once heard a quote that might help you. The speaker said, "I have no self-esteem", then smiled, and continued to express how happy he was because of it. We all do certain actions, say certain things, or make creations others deem as ill-fit or improper, but if we look upon those things not as extensions of ourselves but as passing notions of others it won't matter as much. This quote helped me to start accepting things that others' say and not taking it as an offense on me, but on the notion itself. If that notion is important to you, then explain to the person why it is important to you, but don't assume that what they say is meant to target you.

    Side note, if you take an action that disconnects you from a group but you care about it deeply, take the action over the group. One who stands up for what they believe in will always find somewhere to belong, but one who doesn't will fall for anything.
     
    dragonslayer likes this.
  5. kayesem

    kayesem Fapstronaut

    Yeah. Me too : )

    "You find me offensive. I find you offensive for findin' me offensive!"

    Eminem - Rain Man - from Encore - 2004
     

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