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How to get rid of narcissistic tendencies?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by WretchedBoy, Feb 19, 2019.

  1. WretchedBoy

    WretchedBoy Fapstronaut

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    Hey there,

    today I will complete the 110th day of no P which for me is absoluetly huge.
    Unfortunately I cannot enjoy this very much, as I acutally seem to go through a really negative and depressive phase... I should actually be pretty happy so I sat down and took the time to write down what´s bothering me, as I could not manage to figure out what the reason for all this negativity in me was.

    The writing helped me to realize what´s going on: I hate myself for often being arrogant, unempathic, complicated, superficial... or in short I tend to show narcissistic ways of behaviour that I just don´t want to identify with. I never acted this way before I got hooked on P and I am quite sure that the fake reality I consumed for years did this to me.

    Anyone of you experienced some similar changes in your own behaviour? How did you cope with it? Any methods or ideas? It just feels like some of these behaviours are so deeply ingrained in my brain that they happen automatically in certain situations of social contact... I am sick of being someone I would not like to spend time with myself and furthermore feel as if this inner conflict keeps me from really being aware and settled in myself...

    Looking forward to hear from you all.
     
  2. Well for starters what helped me was being honest with myself and others the good about me the bad .I often found being dishonest and hiding things about myself lead me to a lot of anxiety and keep my isolated .
     
    WretchedBoy likes this.
  3. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Have you done any research on narcissism? Start there.

    Good news is, it's probably not your fault. Genetics & environment shape a narcissist. You are empty & in a cycle of shame, looking to others to give you what you should be able to give yourself.

    It's apparently pretty hard to overcome narcissism but I'm a full believer that anything is possible if you want it enough & put the work into it.

    It will take some really profound self-reflection & trying to understand what in your life could have contributed to the narcissism. Overcome the shame & make amends.

    You have to really understand narcissistic behaviors so you are aware of when you are doing them.

    It all takes time, patience, & hard work.

    Forgive yourself.

    Best wishes :)
     
    WretchedBoy likes this.
  4. You have to drill down to the core beliefs and work on removing them while at the same time create new beliefs that empower you. If you think you are worthless, go thru the exercise and look at all the reasons why you think this and then disprove them. At the same time create a new belief that is the opposite like "I am really <awesome, loving, incredible, super, strong, happy, etc etc etc>" and start adding references as to why that is true.

    Now once you have done that exercise, start to identify things that make you <awesome, loving, incredible, super, strong, happy, etc etc etc>, and do them. For example, if you say I am really awesome then go find something you can do that supports that. It doesn't have to be anything grand (though there's nothing wrong with that) but just do it. Help someone out, compliment someone, volunteer to do something.

    If you did that often like once per day you'll have a ton of references that back up your belief that you are Awesome ! (or whatever word you chose).

    It's very important to know and understand that not all of your thoughts are true, in fact most are not. If you see that and understand it you can have a thought and say "that's not true" and then think a better thought to replace it.

    This is like exercise, it must be done regularly.

    good luck
     
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  5. WretchedBoy

    WretchedBoy Fapstronaut

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    Thank you all for your answers. It always helps to hear different perspectives.

    This seems to be a very important lesson for me. Any advice you can give me about how to seperate the "true" and "not true" thoughts? I often get scared by my thoughts and trap myself in thinking loops until I´m all caught up in my own head again...
     
  6. Ash.k

    Ash.k Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing your experiences, ive been going through something similar lately, its a tricky little twist that the things we hate about ourselves are the things that we need to embrace, that sounds weird but rejecting those things that you do not like will supress them back into yourself, a good way to hear where these things are coming from is to practice a loving awareness mediation, but also to cultivate a voice for them, their wants and needs and perspectives, to allow those parts to speak, and take a paternal sympathetic ear, often i find those negative feelings are more to do with my repulsion to feeling them, and so i really push them down so my actions become unconcious in the moments they arise.

    Hope that helps some
     

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