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How to focus on studying despite being horny as f..

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by shark, Feb 18, 2014.

  1. shark

    shark Fapstronaut

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    Hi,

    I have a long way to go and need some quick advice.

    How do you guys treat your urges? Cold showers?

    I have the willpower to not touch my penis even if I feel really horny, however i did not learn so far to refocuse on other things.

    E.g. I should study but I cannot because my penis is distracting me. I used to orgasm then and felt better and could focus again on important things.

    Especially in the library I cannot just take a cold shower.

    Any recommendations?

    thanks
     
  2. freedomwarrior

    freedomwarrior Fapstronaut

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    Hello, Shark, and welcome. Wish I had some advice for you that would work everytime. By your counter, it appears you just reset, assuming meaning you just had an orgasm and are ready to focus on important things like studying. Also see your goal is 365 days. That is an eternity. Might I suggest you simply go for your personal best to start? Or if that is like 1 day like mine used to be, maybe start with 5 days or 7 days.

    No cold showers in the library, but you can get up and walk around and do some deep breathing to relax. You can throw some cold water on your face in the restroom to wake up and focus better.
    On another post somewhere I read something that has worked for me when my mind goes to fantasyland. Take your mind away from the fantasy and take your mind to a quiet relaxing place and just focus on that place. Breathe deep. Keep you mind in the relaxing place as long as you need to and as often as you need to. Eventually you will train your brain to go to that relaxing thought rather than to fantasyland.

    btw, I love cold showers. I am 1 week into them. But for me a cold shower does not remove my horniness. My penis is still aroused and at half staff through the entire cold shower. Not sure if I am abnormal in that sense. But I can tell you that I most likely am not going to MO in a cold shower.

    Study hard, but not that kind of hard.
     
  3. Study outside, somewhere with a view, or with other people. More importantly than will power, we have to be able to convert the urges into a desire to do something good. Some call this "replacing" the desires with better desires: friendship, prayer, reading, work, music, movies, exercise, etc. You have a desire for intimacy but you're better off if you can find it elsewhere. Relationships, not necessarily romantic ones, can help.
     
  4. shark

    shark Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your help freedomwarrior.

    I indeed just reset and agree that 365 days are insane. I already tried nofap for 2 or 3 times and it went quite well except for my problem mentionend above. I just remembered that doing push ups sometimes helps. Is however also something you rather would not do in a library.

    My problem is that i set goals always too high and then get easily frustrated when I cannot achieve it. So your 5 or 7 day suggestion totally make sense. I will still leave it so high for now because it keeps reminding me of how much of an achiever I want to be (which also can motivate you sometimes). Lets see though how fast I relapse.. :cool:

    I also recommend not to edge for anyone interested. It leads to orgasm too easily. Also , I can edge for like 30 min without orgasm and the orgasm feeling will eventually even disappear. However this feels like cheating and giving in to the desire. So no edging for me.

    I also put an additional day counter on my desktop to see the progress.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2014
  5. shark

    shark Fapstronaut

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    good point! redirecting the extra energy into something positive should probably be one of the main goals.
     
  6. FallenMormon

    FallenMormon Fapstronaut

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    I don't know how/if you're religious, but I find that focusing on scriptures really helps me. On paper it sounds just like you wouldn't be able to focus just like homework, but I find it really put my urges down a peg.
     

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