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Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by noonoon, Jan 31, 2017.
I like your use of paragraphs.
Did I do it right?
This made ME laugh! Great post!
This totally worked for me! Thanks mate In the beginning, the thought of approaching a girl petrified me. However, I used a couple of hacks that made it easy for me to do that and so I'm going to share it here for others.
1) Approaching from a position where the girl can see me. This made her feel less threatened as she gets a couple of seconds to see me walking up to her.
2) I usually start by saying "Hey, I just wanted to say that your beanie/pants/scarf/whatever look really good on you." or simply go with " Hey, nice scarf". Since, I wasn't complementing her body, but rather her choice of clothing it always ended up being taken in a positive way.
3) Did 2) until I gained enough confidence to approach women and today I took it up a notch higher. Saw a girl on the metro and she had really cute dimples that showed up with her smile. So as the train was approaching my stop, I walked by her and told her " Hey! Your dimples showed up everytime you smiled and I found that cute." Then after she smiled and said "Thank you", I responded with a smile, said "Keep smiling" and then walked away.
4) Importantly, everytime I approached a girl, I also did something to signal that I'm not there to stay. For instance, in the metro I approached her on my way to the door so she knew that I wasn't going to be there for long i.e. expecting more from the conversation and that made it easy.
That's all I have for now.
Good luck approaching women, guys!
I understand that most people have their own way of flirting, but some of your techniques and the way that you describe women doesn't seem appropriate, unless you were joking which I hope is the case. Calling someone as fuglies, in my opinion, is kind of immature. Even if you're flirting as a teenager or maybe as an adult, I don't think it's necessary to treat them as practice to better yourself in the art of communicating with women.
And I don't think calling them flugy is genuine either, especially if you're trying to act that way while knowing that they're unattractive. I say it's really important to respect them regardless if they're ugly or not. And I believe that being truly genuine, honest, and appreciative of a woman comes from the heart. What you're describing as genuine regarding the flirtation of women based on their looks, in my further opinion, is not right.
Also, what do you mean by your definition of what is creepy? There are so many terms when it involves flirting. So in my eyes, what does being creepy have to do with not being genuine or not fulfilling your expectations with flirting? To me, being creepy around women indicates that you're making them uncomfortable by displaying social awkwardness, lack of confidence, and an inability to communicate with the opposite sex. At this stage, there's nothing related with being genuine or meeting your expectations. I mean, let's say if you are creepy. Do you really expect women to flirt with you when you know you're a creep?
And why would you flirt with someone just for giggles? It really depends if you're flirting with your coworkers, a girl you really like, or even your wife. I also believe that complimenting women just to make them feel good isn't genuine either; it's just being shady. And if you're flirting with someone regarding how they look just to improve your game, than that's even more shady.
I believe flirting is just for enjoyment and nothing else. You respect the other gender's personalities, characteristics, and you appreciate what they have to offer. There is no reason to expect anything out of flirtation, for your own purposes especially or theirs, but to just have fun with each other. I don't know too much about relationships, marriages, or even love affairs, but one thing I do know is that I try to respect a woman.
I agree with some of what you're saying, but I don't entirely agree with everything else. I do apologize for my criticism, but I've never seen anything like this. It's possible you're much better at flirting than I am, but when I do flirt myself, I try to be aware of what's going on. Flirting is just about having fun to me, being comfortable, and not hurting the other person's feelings. It's really as simple as that.
yes, terminology aside, good advice.
Hmmm better point.
How about we not randomly flirt with strangers in the first place? I mean as a type of sport. Stick with either the women you are acquainted with IRL or people with potential. For example, a cashier. Yes, she may be beautiful but unless you frequent the place regularly it isn't going anywhere.
Now let's say you do go to that place regularly -- go ahead and flirt. By then you should have gathered if she is receptive to you or not. If she's not interested, flirting isn't going to help. As you said, don't force it. Unless you like rejection.
I might appreciate your compliment at first, but if I find out you are doing it for practice I won't. Many of us are skeptical of your intentions in the first place -- it's best not to prove us right.
Btw that scale? We have it too. That's why you should stick to people you know (or have potential with). If we keep you around in our life, it's because we see you of value other than for looks. If we don't know you, then whether or not we find you physically attractive is going to play a big part in how that compliment lands. Sticking with people you know/starting to know is your best chance of success. Besides, who are you really going to end up with? A woman you compliment once and walk away from, or someone who you genuinely like?
So many negative comments and concerns about using the word "fugly". It's crazy.
Here's my response:
1. it's a joke
2. being hypersensitive makes you fugly.
Thank God the women who pitied me in highschool, who talked with me, who flirted with me a bit, didn't think as you do. I was quite fugly, and the few that gave me the time of day made my day brighter and better!
Fugly is a joke. It's immature. That's why it's a joke. Get over it. I don't anywhere suggest being rude or disrespectful. Actions, my friend, are what counts. I suppose you, with your high morals, wouldn't condescend to flirt a bit with an ugly girl? Because you know she's ugly and it's "wrong"? How superior of you.
When "high ideals" don't make the world a better place it's time to rethink them.
Okay. I'm still trying to see where you're coming from. And guess what? I thought I was ugly too back in high school, but it turned out that females thought I was actually decent looking. The only difference was that I was utterly shy, had a lack of confidence in myself, and took no obligation to change who I was in order to interact with girls. And yeah, I couldn't even talk to a girl back then, let alone flirt. Also, it's not that I wouldn't want to flirt with an ugly girl because it's wrong; I'd prefer flirting with people who have certain characteristics and personalities. If they're outgoing and fun to be around with, then I'm more likely to flirt.
It seems we've both evolved differently when it came to being more comfortable around women. For me, it was just through hard work and challenging myself to do new things. I could care less if girls pitied me back in high school. And what's wrong with having high morals? I keep them specifically to myself because of the women I've interacted with and befriended. The things that they've gone through you probably wouldn't understand. So I only keep them for their sake; not mine. And I also believe that having even a slight idea of what high morals are, when it comes to relationships or even marriage, is crucial.
Although this thread relates to flirting, we just have different ways of doing it, so I'm not going to go any further. And yes, I am over it because I've already said my part. The only reason why I took offense to your post is because I thought it was kind of disrespectful. It's not like I hated it. But if you're claiming that it was a joke to call people fugly, then that's fine. Like I said, you're probably better at flirting then I am, considering your personality that I'm kind of aware of. But this thread is about flirting. Okay? There are more ways to skin a cat, and if you're having fun and you enjoy with your way of flirting, then it's none of my business. I just take certain things with a different approach that's all. And I'm sticking to it.
Flirting can only be established after you build yourself into a success.
Read the book of pook.
The Book of Pook is a horrible, misogynist pile of crap that treats women as only slightly better than farmyard cattle. Actually, no, I've seen farmers who treated their cattle with a lot more respect than Pook has for women.
By all means, read it, if you must. It's not 100% terrible. There are a few pieces of good advice in it concerning self-improvement and confidence. But it's like diving into a slurry tank to find some pearls, which makes it infinitely frustrating to read.
Funny I read nothing of the sort. A lot of pickup is actually about self improvement.
And so on and so forth. I sadly didn't write down all the crap the first time I read it and I'm certainly not going to read it again. Also, some of it can't be pinned down and has more to do with the general condescending tone rather than actual quotes.
I'd be real cautious of complimenting as a way of flirting, especially when you're dealing with higher tier women. it just reeks of desperation and can create the wrong impression, believe me I went down this road when I started courting girls. but you'll have a real edge if you can set yourself apart from all the nice-guy tools out there. that's why teasing is so effective -- it asserts that you are independent of the conversation's outcome and puts her into your state of mind, which is invaluable when you start to move up the ladder
I totally hear you on that one man. Complimenting a woman in hopes to get with them is a serious no-no. Sometimes, women can see it coming, and they can tell if you're authentic with your approach or if you're desperate. And yes, I've experienced those moments just like you have. However, I do agree that teasing is effective as well. It certainly worked when I was back in high school, and I wasn't aware of it until later. As long as you're not making fun of them or hurting their feelings, then you're good. Because sometimes, women and even men, take it the wrong way. I've experienced that as well from both sides.
Flirting doesn't work for me, they act around me like I'm a creep. They even refuse to be physically close enough to me. And I only discuss safe, nonsexual topics and they still get creeped out.
I flirt and pursue women I'm generally attracted to only. I don't believe in testing myself with women I'm not attracted to.
The few moments I was really successful, like instantly successful, with woman was when I was making them laugh. There is nothing more attractive than someone with a good sense of humor imo.
The first step is to smile at a woman you find attractive, and if she smiles back, that's a good sign.
Hm...no woman that wasn't already my friend has ever smiled at me.