How to flirt

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by noonoon, Jan 31, 2017.

  1. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    As an introvert, I used to be really, really bad at flirting. But i learned the skill. Let's call it "the way of the introvert" because that sounds cool.

    Here's what you have to do:

    Start with the fuglys. Or if you can, the semi-pretties. They need to have one feature you genuinely like. It has to be genuine. Don't be a liar. Never that. You'll come across as creepy. Maybe it's the hair? Most girls work really hard on their hair. Tell them it looks really pretty. And here is the important part: 1. watch her positive reaction. 2. enjoy her positive reaction. You made her feel good. enjoy it. (Ever notice that when an "ok" looking girl smiles she actually becomes quite pretty?)

    Find more girls to genuinely compliment. all sorts of girls. the girl behind the counter at mcdonalds, the girl you walk by on the street, the girl who sits in front of you in class. don't be a creep about it though. What is creepy? 1. Not being genuine (as i said before) AND 2. expecting to get something out of it. (expect NOTHING in return, not a phone number even). just be nice. just enjoy it.

    Here's how: You see a fugly but she's wearing a really pretty dress. So, you genuinely say: "you know, that's a really pretty dress! It looks great!" Then as I said before, watch them light up. they'll smile i promise you. they'll appreciate it. Now, enjoy it. enjoy making them feel good.

    Continue with the fuglys until you feel confident to move to the semi-pretties, and then...etc. (Now we all have different standards as to what makes a fugly and a semi pretty, and a pretty, so don't get hung up on the terminology. Just start with the girls you're most comfortable with.)

    This is where you want to be. Trying to make the girls feel good about themselves with no expectations. Get comfortable here. Pretty soon you will find that you compliment them, you enjoy their smile, and you'll smile back naturally. Congratulations! You're now flirting. You're now a man and a woman smiling at each other.

    When you can comfortably enjoy making a girl feel good about herself with no expectation, you're in an awesome place. From here, you will find that there are times it becomes natural to ask a girl out. When you're both smiling, enjoying each other. No expectations. Why not?

    This is flirting. This is what landed me my wife. I still flirt a bit for fun, but i don't want it to go anywhere. I just still enjoy making a woman feel good about herself. It's wonderful. Go practice. It gets easier and easier.

    Remember: even baseball players only hit the ball like 40% of the time - if they're good! You'll strike out. Just try to enjoy the game.

    EDIT: "fuglys" and "semi pretties" is humor used in an attempt to lighten the topic. you know, a joke. Fugly means f-ing ugly. Mostly, the idea is to start with girls who don't intimidate you. Also, if the term "fugly" bothers you, you might also start by removing the object stuck in your rectum.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2017
  2. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

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    This isn't flirting as much as simply complimenting. When you flirt, you might also tease her, add sexual innuendos, and touch/kiss if the venue is appropriate.
     
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  3. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Yes, do it your way. The key is to be genuine. There is no recipe.

    I remember at school we had one guy who was a total nerd and he was making kind of "inventory lists" and "databases" of all the girls in school, and everybody laughed about him and thought he is just crazy, but in the end that guy was totally successful!

    His way was so genuine that some girls just loved him!

    Flirting is just a lot of fun, and women like that a lot. Their erotic pleasure has much to do with talking.
     
  4. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Wtf are "the fuglys"? o_O
     
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  5. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    I don't even want to know.
     
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  6. silenteagle

    silenteagle Fapstronaut

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    Great way of approaching this problem.I hope it works in my case as well :D
     
    noonoon likes this.
  7. Max.Effort

    Max.Effort Fapstronaut

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    This don't seem right to me :/

     
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  8. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    in what way? Immoral? How? Wouldn't work? Why? Because you're making girls feel good about themselves with no expectations for anything in return?
     
  9. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    "Fucking uglies". Girls that don't meet your standard of physical appearance.

    Your advice seems genuine but there probably aren't a lot of men who could pull it off.
     
  10. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    Look brother, we're in this boat together. There's only one reason we're on this website: we have a problem and want to get better. I posted this "how to flirt" because I learned something that i think can help others. I was at a place in life where i felt ugly, stupid and worthless. and you know what, i got out of it. Thanks to God, of course. I learned a few things. One is not to take yourself so seriously. It's a life-killer. That may be the best advice you hear all day. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Laugh at yourself. Enjoy life. Let people use the word "fugly" without getting all butthurt.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2017
  11. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, I was in a pretty bad mood yesterday. I still think using the word "fugly" to describe women is a dickmove but I usually wouldn't bother pointing it out.
    I also usually wouldn't have bothered with your post and just ignored it but I've read so many flirting tips in the past months that I'm becoming allergic to them and their attitude of "everyone can do it". Like I said, it was unprofessional to snap at you for it. I hope you just cherish the fact that you're the kind of man who can and is allowed to pull off something like this. Don't take this gift for granted. All the best to you.
     
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  12. Woulder

    Woulder New Fapstronaut

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    am I the only one or this seems to be like an entire art??
     
  13. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    Great way to put it my friend . The analogies you used were spot on about this topic ... I always say a loss is never a loss when you learned something from it .
     
  14. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight Fapstronaut

    Superb Idea, but the problem is that I will find an excuse probably not to do it. Telling myself just any excuse not to do it. Ugh.

    Still, it's an awesome thread, and I'm certain that it will be useful for some!
     
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  15. Proceed

    Proceed Fapstronaut

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    Wow; This is great advice! Two people smiling at each other with no expectations.. Why hadn't I thought of this before?? A lot of times I am looking for a number or a follow up or something; Also sometimes I am afraid of complementing a girl because men do this to women constantly.. But maybe they don't? Maybe they just need a complement sometimes. I will try this. Just to smile. Thank you
     
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  16. Proceed

    Proceed Fapstronaut

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    I followed through with my commitment.. and complimented a girl without expectations at Walmart just this morning. I don't regret it at all. Just 2 people smiling! Haha
     
  17. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

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    What is fugly? What is fucking ugly? I really don't understand it. I have only pretty woman (those who I found beautiful and attractive for me), average (slightly bellow, slightly above average -good for short romance, not enough for long term commitment), and ugly (those who I found unattractive). Why would I need another category?
    For those who I found extremely unattractive? If somebody is unattractive, it doesn't matter if is only little unattractive or a lot, it's still just unattractive.
     
  18. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    You don't. Look up the word "pedantic"...that might help.
     
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  19. Beopus

    Beopus Fapstronaut

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    I always thought it was fat and ugly. Can't believe this thread, had me rolling.

    Start with the fuglies. Oh my God I could see James Franco offering that advice to Seth Rogen in one of their features.
     
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  20. RebeccaNola

    RebeccaNola Fapstronaut

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    Woman here. Compliments never get old -- IF there is no sexual innuendo and no expectation. I never get tired of "Hey, beautiful!" if the guy is smiling -- NOT LEERING -- but just smiling.

    But also, there is more to flirting than complimenting. I would consider step two -- or maybe even step one -- to be making her laugh. I have dated some real assholes simply because they were so good at making me laugh, i couldn't keep my guard up because they kept making me laugh, repeated until they got me in bed. I even married one of them! To this day I don't know why, but him making me laugh was a huge part of it. Without that, it would have just been me and an abusive asshole. See, laughter is powerful. Every single guy I have ever dated/loved had a sense of humor similar to mine and was always saying funny shit. Whether she's in a bad or good mood, it always works. Even now, when I'm crying for whatever reason, my BF always thinks of something funny to say and I stop crying. It's a magical skill to have!
     

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